Hull, Hell & Unhappiness

Thursday 22-Saturday 24 October: Five Live Octoberfest / Hull City memories

First up I apologise. No excuses. I got it wrong. Michael Turner’s sale from Hull City to Sunderland had nothing to do with the player wanting to leave, it was all to do with…well, I’m not sure what really. I was going to say “finances” but the returning ‘Messiah’ Adam Pearson assures us that’s not the case. And what AP says is good enough for me. Mind you, I said the same about Paul Duffen!!?

You see, as ridiculously naive as it is to "believe" (especially in these post-1997 New Labour-tainted days of spin, burying bad news and telling downright porkies in order to keep power) I still want to. Like many thousands of others for who Hull City FC holds a place in their hearts, I continue to “dare to dream”. Therefore it’s understandable that I was prepared to allow Messrs Duffen & Brown – the men who got us to “the promised land” – a bit of leeway when all my gut instincts were telling me that something was amiss.

And now we know. Along with many others in the “silent majority” I was taken for a mug. Michael Turner, the Tigers’ best player, rated at £12M, was sold for a third of that price with City only benefiting to the tune of £2.5M. Still, we got Paul McShane in return for a fifth of his reported price. Bargain! Result! Not.

This faith in authority stretches back to my Primary School days and remains firm despite many a knock over the years. Like my refusal to believe that the headmaster of said school could really be guilty of lewd acts in a public toilet (when it was proven in a court of law it made my previous role as his “bell monitor” a tad embarrassing).

Then there was my conviction at the time that Mrs T knew best when introducing the Poll Tax. And my support for Blair – in all other ways the epitome of everything I dislike – when he took British soldiers into Iraq. But, perhaps most shamefully of all, it was there in the days when I really believed that Terry Dolan was the man to resurrect Hull City’s fortunes!

Memories of the Dolan Era at City came flooding back recently when BBC Radio 5 Live broadcast a series of programmes from Hull, under the banner “Octoberfest”.One of the people behind the idea was Jonathan Wall, the Commissioning Editor at 5 Live and a former sports producer for Radio Humberside. As a guest on the Friday night “Sports Talk” he explained one of the main factors behind the idea as being Hull’s current status as a “premier sporting city” (four top class professional teams in three different sports).

In addition to plentiful coverage of The Tigers, as well as bits on Rovers, Hull FC and a token nod towards Hull Stingrays Ice Hockey, Octoberfest also included snippets on the city’s commerce and culture. Thus we were treated to interviews with some of the Kingston-upon-Hull’s finest ambassadors. Oh, and John Prescott.

With plenty of interactive stuff taking place around the streets, plus its own mini-website, Octoberfest brought positive publicity to a much-maligned city. What I wouldn’t have given for something similar twenty years ago.

During the period 1988-1992, in the wake of Acid House and the Madchester thing, I was part of a group desperately trying to promote Hull as another cool Northern city. Our main vehicle for doing this was a series of fanzines that profiled the city’s sport, music and culture. Unfortunately, more often than not the reaction was even cooler than the image we were trying to create!

It didn’t help that the only similarity between the Hull City of 1989 and 2009 was that you still can’t colour the letters in; or that when mentioning Hull music, people couldn’t see beyond the Housemartins; or that the irony of one of our first forays into street fashion – “Hull North of Manchester” t-shirts - was lost on most people.When the original fanzine “Hull Hell & Happiness” first hit the streets (to bemused reaction) in September 1988 City were drawing crowds of barely 5,000 at Boothferry Park. Remarkably, within a few issues, it was selling to nearly a quarter of that number. At the time, co-editor Andy Medcalf and I joked about giving up our day jobs and taking the fanzine full-time. Had we been able to command a similar sales ratio with the crowds of today we’d probably now be looking at early retirement!
Over the next few years a succession of fanzines came and went (“From Hull To Eternity”, “Look Back In Amber”, “Last Train To Boothferry Halt”, “Tiger Rag”) which, on the whole, received the nod of approval locally as well as national acclaim from inside and outside the game.
There were forays into the music industry. Compilation cassettes such as “There’s Something Stirring In King Billy’s Bogs” showcased Hull’s rich musical talent, gigs at The Adelphi brought the footy and music crowd together and then of course there was ‘The Chip Shop Boys’.

Once referred to by Adelphi owner Paul Jackson as one of only three local bands guaranteed to pack out the 200-capacity venue (the others being The Housemartins/Beautiful South and early-Nineties chart-band Kingmaker) The Chip Shop Boys (“featuring Patty Slappin’ Debs” to give them their later full title) was a prime example of an alcohol-fuelled idea that (almost) became bigger than the project it was meant to promote. I’ll tell you about it in more detail some day. Perhaps.




Going one step further than the CSB’s (i.e. into the recording studio) was ‘Young Amber ‘N’ Black’. Again, it was an idea inspired by a large intake of alcohol; if I remember rightly in the pubs of the beautiful cathedral city of Exeter on a Tuesday afternoon prior to watching a City side with a certain David Jones in the ranks draw 0—0 against The Grecians at the other “Sid James Park”. ‘Young Amber ‘N’ Black’ by…er…’Young Amber ‘N’ Black (featuring Leon)’ was going to be the song to finally end the awful booming out of Tina Turner’s “Simply The Best” on match days at Boothferry Park.


Recorded in Hull’s Fairview Studios, performed at both the Adelphi and The Blue Lamp (to rapturous receptions I might add) and “critically acclaimed” locally (well, we got a good review in ‘Where?’, the local Hull music mag!) we thought we’d finally cracked the big time. And when we approached Hull-based DJ, producer and all-round cool fokker Porky ‘B’ with view to him doing a “Remix” we thought we’d really struck gold. We hadn’t. Porky might have been keen to promote Hull but as a supporter of hometown club Wolves (who ran out to The Skatalites classic “Liquidator”) he also knew a thing or tow about what sounds good at a football ground. The idea stalled.


By far the biggest exposure for "The Fanzine Movement" (or Blind Faith '92) came via Gary Hook’s innovative t-shirts. Starting with a “hu” (front) “ll” (back) design based on that of hip Manchester band James, this part of the operation took off big style. No corporate logo or brand was safe as Gary brought out wave after wave of "rip-off" designs aimed at promoting the city (“01482”), its heroes (Amy Johnson even got a look in) and the football club (“Going Down With The Tigers”). The sideline eventually spawned its own offshoot, “Umber Leisure” (complete with a take on a certain similarly-named sportswear manufacturer’s diamond logo). But while cult band Carter The Unstoppable Sex Machine would probably have appreciated their typeface being used to accompany one of Hull City’s greatest ever heroes, Gary’s perversion of a certain soft drink’s slogan (“Enjoy Hull”) almost landed him in bother and after this brush with the legal bods, the designs dried up a touch. Understandably so.

Over time links were forged between the footy fanzines, their rugby equivalents and local style mags “Radar”, “Pulse” and “In The City”. Praise came from the legendary John Peel on his late night Radio 1 show, Mark Radcliffe brought Radio 5’s ‘Hit the North’ programme to the city and eventually the HDM gave us a regular slot in its Saturday night Sports Mail. But no matter how well received by “the converted”, for many locals and most of the outside world Hull remained a “backwater” and any “scene” remained secret.


Of course, for us to succeed we needed either top-class football or a chart-topping band. Manchester had Ferguson’s United, City’s inflatables, the Stone Roses and the Hacienda; we had Dolan, Fish, Death By Milkfloat and The Welly Club. I don’t think even a BBC "Octoberfest" could have bridged the gap.


By the time I returned to grassroots football, not only were The Tigers still in a mess but both rugby clubs were also on the slide. Indeed, the aforementioned Mr Wall went public with his thoughts that Hull and Rovers should merge – he’s somehow still around to be able to laugh at that suggestion some fifteen years on!


Ironically, having had the shot in the arm of the whole "Octoberfest" thing, the Tigers are now reeling from the fallout of the aforementioned Duffen's departure. Manager Brown would appear to need a win over Stoke to retain his place. Lose and it won't be his karaoke singing we hear at the final whistle but 3,000 Potters prforming "Delilah".

I'm taking my eldest to her first live match on Sunday and will no regale her with tales of when "Dad" was a member of the 'Black 'n' Amber Army'. Prior to the game she'll accompany me to the Remembrance Service in Hull City centre - I just hope the sombre mood of that occasion does not continue into the KC Stadium!

"Told You So"

Saturday 26 September - South Normanton Athletic (home) Won 2-1
Saturday 3 October - Phoenix Sports & Social Club (away) Drew 2-2
Saturday 10 October - Reckitts AFC, ER Senior Cup Round 1 (away) Lost 1-4
Reserves revival; Casuals crash!

Ah, it was to be expected I suppose. As soon as we went head-to-head for the first time with a team from the Humber Premier League it was perhaps predictable that those wishing to seize on the result as some sort of statement regarding the respective merits of both competitions would do just that.
And so, having been convincingly beaten at Reckitts on Saturday in the East Riding Senior Cup, to some "observers" the result is a clear indicator that the Humber Prem MUST be superior to the Central Midlands League; or at least to the CML Premier Division (given Westella & Willerby's 5-1 win over HPL Hedon Rangers in the same competition?).
Of course drawing any such conclusions from a couple of one-off games is absolute tosh. For a start Reckitts currently head the HPL table and on their day are capable of dishing out a good hiding to most if not all their fellow member clubs. But such comparisons serve no purpose anyway. Indeed they completely miss the point of exactly why we left the HPL in the first place.
The main reason clubs like Westella, Hutton Cranswick and Easington "jumped ship", as HPL Committee member and Reckitts boss Dave Start agreed on Saturday, was to play our football in what we see as being a better environment for "progressive clubs". And so far I think our move has been more than vindicated.
Facilities-wise we have had no complaints. All four grounds so far visited have been above or on a par with all but a very few of those available in the HPL. Ditto the set-up in terms of the actual clubs, while overall the standard of football has just about been equal to the HPL Premier Division. Indeed, on the evidence of our matches against the likes of Parkhouse, Church Warsop and Phoenix, all three would give any of the HPL's established "big three" (Reckitts, Chalk Lane and Sculcoates) a game.
Phoenix Sports & Social Club provided the opponents for one of the two Central Midlands League matches completed since my last post; the other was at home to South Normanton Athletic.

Fellow newcomers South Normanton came to us on 26th September in conditions more akin to pre-season. It was an absolute belter of a day. The Derbyshire side arrived on team coach and kitted out in white shirt and club tie; very smart and befitting a club resurrected from the ashes of one that played Northern Counties East League football as recently as 2007/08.
We won the game 2-1, although most of those present in the 51-strong crowd (including "Hopper" Harvey Harris whose current projects also include setting up a database of all players to have featured in the Northern League since the late-Sixties!) agreed we "got out of gaol".


Trailing 0-1 and having been second-best for most of the game, we turned things round with two goals inside a minute, the first from the most unlikely source - goalkeeper Charlie Holden's punt (pictured above). And with the visitors still reeling from this bizarre effort, Frosty nipped in to score number two (below) and win us the game.
The result proved extra significant given that it completed a long-overdue "East End Hat-trick". For the first time since October 2003, all three Easington teams playing on the same day managed to secure victories. I was particularly pleased for the Stiffs who had gone to reigning champions Howden on the back of a 10-0 drubbing in Goole the week before. Their 3-2 win at Ashes Park was therefore as needed as it was impressive. And the Casuals too were in need of a pick-me-up after a poor start - they got it via a win in Eastrington.
Unfortunately, despite a decent looking curry on offer in The Neptune afterwards and a more than satisfying couple of pints of Tetley Cask, the rest of the day brought only disappointment sporting-wise; courtesy of City's 6-1 thumping at Anfield and Rovers' exit from the Super League Play-Offs at the hands of Wigan. Ah well, there was always Ola's latest "non-costume" to ogle at on "Strictly..."
The following week we boarded the Riding School Fun Bus bound for Brinsworth, near Rotherham, home to unbeaten second-placed club Phoenix Sports. Conditions this day were very "Autumnal", with the strong and blustery wind threatening to make a mockery of proceedings on the exposed Pavilion Lane pitch.
The football pitch is tagged onto the side of what I imagine on a nice summer's afternoon would be a very picturesque cricket ground. The pavilion nestles nicely alongside the Sports & Social Club from which the team takes it name - a Cask Marque home, more of which later!
As for the football part of the ground, a homely tea hut sits yards away (but facing the opposite direction) from the spectators' shelter (above). Not the most luxurious football stand you'll ever come across but on a day like today when the wind's blowing a hooey it certainly does the job!
With Burt away negotiating the canals of north Wales on his narrow boat, camera duties were left in the hands of me and my trusty little Nikon Coolpix. Thankfully, on entering the ground I bumped into a very pleasant young lady from the Rotherham Advertiser who was there to take a team shot of our hosts. As she was intent on hanging around a bit to get some action pics, I boldly suggested she may like to send me a couple for "use at our end". And "Voila", below are the results (and better than Burt would have done I might say!!??)...

As to the game itself, the first half proved largely "formless" as I believe seasoned hacks term it. The main point of concern to us was a nasty looking injury to Thommo which forced him off after barely half an hour.

Above a happy, smiling bench...below a not-so-happy one. Nice swelling Thommo!

We had been advised beforehand that in dreadlocked striker Ebrima Mendy, the hosts possess possibly the best player in the division. And, true to form, having managed to contain him for the most part, he popped up on the hour to produce a piece of clinical finishing. Thankfully, by then we'd already got our noses in front courtesy of a stunning strike from Farny but when Phoenix were awarded a "soft" looking penalty just four minutes from time, duly converted, it appeared the turnaround was complete.
Not so as in the fifth minute of injury-time defender Dave Porter inexplicably elbowed the ball to safety (even though the shot looked to be going wide) giving "Chav" the chance to salvage us a point. "He takes a great penalty" said Manager Mack ahead of the kick. "Kiss of death that" thought I and the rest of the dugout. What little faith - almost the perfect penalty, high to the keeper's left right in the top corner.  2-2 and back to the clubhouse...



Ah what pleasures awaited me therein. Five (or was it six?) cask ales, including what appeared to be the resident beer, John Smiths Magnet. Of the guests, which numbered a couple of local Sheffield Brewery Co offerings, two (or was it three?) from Derby's Derventio Brewery and "Sharp's Own" (Cornwall) I opted for the latter as well as an unusual little gem, Sheffield's "Blanco Blonde". As the name suggests it was more of a lager but tasty nonetheless.
In truth I could easily have stayed for a live "Phoenix Nights" experience but driver Pete needed to be back for "X Factor" (??!!) so we boarded the Fun Bus and returned via the local "offy" with another satisfying away day behind us.
Obviously last Saturday provided no satisfaction. Even ex-East Ender Mike Nicho's view that "the only difference between the two sides was in the finishing" brought little consolation. And making it worse was the fact that the crowd at Inglemire Lane was predominantly comprised of Ezzie folk and/or supporters. Among those gathered was ex-Secretary Derek "Guv" Clubley ("I onny live round the corner") and former player Dave "Crazy Legs" Shaw accompanied by another compatriot from my old Hull City fanzine days, Finchy. I do hope when the pair make their way down to the revamped Farm for a game we'll put on a better show!
We now have four successive home games ahead of us, beginning with this week's second round tie in the League Cup, at home to Yorkshire Main, from Edlington near Doncaster. They're currently going well in the Premier Division, wherein they lie second after recovering from a recent dip in form with a 5-0 thumping of Hutton Cranswick. So it looks like being another difficult afternoon. We go into the game without our skipper - courtesy of the needless red card picked up in the last round (!!) and Owen who's again on County FA Juniors duty. Thommo and Lenny remain injured but hopefully Jamie should be back and there may well be chance for a couple of the Stiffs to shine following a welcome run of form at Reserve team level.

Last week's hard-fought cup win over Mill Lane, 3-2 from two goals down thanks to Stu Campbell's winner (above) followed victory the previous week against Beverley Town Reserves - the Stiffs' second in as many weeks against one of last season's top two. Long may the run continue.
As for the Casuals, their trip to York side Heslington in the cup showed up all that is good about Easington football. For although beaten 14-0 by a team almost four divisions above them, they never threw the towel in and then rounded off the trip with the time-honoured post-match "sesh" courtesy of the Fun Bus stop-off in Mkt Weighton.

"Win or lose we'll have a booze"!

Church Trip proves a blessing

Saturday 19 September - Church Warsop Miners Welfare (away) Won 3-2
Troubled times at Reserves & Casuals
Hull Kingston Rovers' date with destiny...

I was very much looking forward to the trip to Church Warsop last Saturday. Not least because of the review by Sticky Palms which painted an inviting picture of the place (see link on my previous blog). In addition, despite the result at Parkhouse on our previous trip into Derbyshire, the prospect of another day out on the "Ezzie Fun Bus" was an enticing one.

In the event the day lived up to its billing - mainly because the 3-2 win gained was not only deserved and bloody hard-earned but it also allowed us to indulge in some welcome liquid-based celebration on the way home.

However, opponents Church Warsop Miners Welfare are a team I perhaps wouldn't want to play against too often; not if Saturday was anything to go by. Not that the Club itself is unappealing but the team's conduct on the pitch left a bit to be desired. The language and abuse hurled at opponents, match officials and even Club Secretary Judy ("Shurrup, gerrome and get dinner on duck!") lasted from almost the first minute to the last and was accompanied by an "attitude" that was different to anything experienced thus far.

Perhaps having put nine past Thorne Colliery the previous weekend served to convince the second-placed hosts that we were the next lambs to the slaughter. It was not to be as for the second week running we produced some scintillating football.

Similar to the Kinsley game, however, we infuriatingly let our opponents back into the game from a position of strength. Thankfully, and again similar to the league cup win, we had enough in reserve to pull through.

There has always been something about organised away trips that bring out the best in the team, whether it be 16 souls crammed together on a mini-bus as with last week or with slightly more rattling about on a 52-seater as in the old days of "Burt-on-Bus".

It's a given that such excursions increase the camaraderie amongst the members of the team. This is especially important with us at the moment given the several new faces finding their feet. The fact that the average age of the first team squad is so young is another reason why such trips work - there's only a few old gits like me on board concerned about whether we'll be home in time to see Alesha and Kristina on "Strictly".

Unfortunately, the Church Warsop Miners Welfare Club itself closed down some four months ago, prompting a jaunt into neighbouring Warsop for our post-match fare. Shamefully the name of the pub escapes me but this is probably down to the fact that the board outside advertised "Cask Ales" before offering no such additions to the "Slush Ales List 2009/10" inside. I suppose I could have had 'em under the Trades Description Act but the Strongbow alternative proved refreshing on another fine late-summer's day...and the scran on offer was again top drawer!

Our next such trip on Pete's "Riding School Express" takes us to Phoenix Sports - another team currently going well - in a fortnight's time. Before then we entertain South Normanton Athletic tomorrow afternoon.

Our visitors 'The Shiners' are a new club borne out of the remains of one that's already undertaken the Central Midlands route into the Northern Counties East League - only to bring about their own demise in 2007 due to lack of new blood as much as anything else.

They will arrive at Low Farm boasting a half-decent record on the road (including a point at Parkhouse) and faced by a United side once again forced into three changes due to absences.

These absences at First Team level obviously have an effect on the County League squads, which is a real shame this week as both are in need of a pick-me-up after poor starts to the season. The Reserves go to champions Howden Amateurs (unfortunately without Miss GB Gemma Garrett in their ranks as shown in this pic from their club web site ) looking to repair the damage inflicted on them by last week's 10-0 humiliation at Goole Goods Office. Fozzy has stepped up to help new manager Lee and assistant Dawsey try and restore a bit of belief but the thing the Stiffs need most is some extra quality through the ranks, following the loss of a batch of players who'd showed great promise in pre-season.

The Casuals are also on the road tomorrow. They're at Eastrington Village Reserves looking to atone for a 6-2 defeat at local rivals Withernsea last weekend, a result that saw former Ezzie Vinny O'Hara net against his ex-team mates (pictured above). The good thing about the Casuals, though, is that win, lose or draw, Maccer's men have a great approach to the game and are in it for the "craic" as much as anything else. Mind you, I don't suppose the Ginger one would want successive bottom placings in different divisions against his management CV come the end of the season??!

Elsewhere this weekend the Tigers go to Liverpool tomorrow with Sportstalk this week having been dominated by the "Brown Out" brigade. In typical Hull City fashion I now expect them to be celebrating victory at Anfield come 5pm tomorrow evening! Then at half-past five it's Rovers v Wigan for a place in the Super League Eliminator semi-finals. Manager Mack will therefore leave his post-match debrief at the Farm tomorrow to 'Nige' while he hot-tails it to Hull in an attempt to get to Craven Park some time before the half-time hooter sounds! I don't envy him. Neither do I really envy him having to endure the game live - it really is one of those "too close to call" affairs. At least by the time I've finished entertaining our visitors from South Normanton in the Neppy, the game will be well underway and my nerves will have been well lubricated...

See you in Phoenix!

Eclipsing the Clippers

Monday 31 August - Hutton Cranswick United (away) Drew 1-1
Saturday 5 September - FC 05 (home) Drew 0-0
Saturday 12 September - Kinsley Boys, League Cup Round 1 (home) Won 6-2

Last weekend saw thousands of people flock to Hull for the start of the Clipper Round-the-World Yacht Race and the “Freedom Festival”. Not surprisingly this resulted in traffic chaos on Saturday as diversions kicked in around the city centre at lunchtime and lasted until midnight.
As referred to by Bob L. Hat in his review on the Tony Kempster site, these diversions also impacted on our Quartet Catering League Challenge Cup first round tie at home to Wakefield side Kinsley Boys. So much so that our visitors didn’t arrive at Low Farm until ten to three with the referee – himself delayed, along with his assistants, by a “blow out” on the M18 – deciding to delay kick-off until a quarter past.

What followed was easily the best ninety minutes experienced thus far in our brief membership of the Central Midlands League. Glorious weather, a decent crowd (73 h/c bolstered by a sizeable travelling contingent) and an entertaining game which saw us upset the formbook and knock out the League’s “August Team of the Month”. It doesn’t get much better (although the “Ryedale Best” in The Neptune wasn’t the most accurate description for my post-match tipple. But hey you can’t have everything!).

The cup win certainly compensated for the rather disappointing result the previous week, at home to FC 05. That 0-0 draw had followed a spirited showing at Hutton Cranswick (1-1) on Bank Holiday Monday and both results mean we go to Church Warsop this Saturday looking for our first league win since the opening day.

Church Warsop Miners Welfare FC currently occupy second place in the table and put nine past Thorne Colliery last weekend. Ominously their squad includes a former Shirebrook Town forward – Simon Johnson; the last time we faced a team containing former Shirebrook players was Parkhouse! We will have to be on our guard.

The village of Church Warsop itself is located just north of Mansfield off the A60 and the ground is a tidy affair, reviewed recently by Ground Hopper “Sticky Palms”. The day will therefore again see us leaving Easington at eleven o’clock on Pete’s “Riding School Express” and involves a drive of just over two hours according to the (in)famous AA Route Finder. This means I should get home just as we're finding out who’s joined Hull KR in the Eliminator Semi-Final of the play-offs (!!!) and also in time to fall asleep in front of “Casualty” - much to the annoyance of the missus!
Despite our move to the CMFL and resignation from the Humber Premier League I still follow the HPL results and keep in touch with several members of clubs involved therein. And at first glance this season’s Premier Division looks wide-open. The likes of Hessle Rangers – strugglers last term – are up there among the early pacesetters while champions Chalk Lane have made a solid if unspectacular start (even at home on the 3G) and usual contenders Sculcoates have endured very mixed fortunes.Predictably, however, Reckitts name is up among the leaders and I’d be amazed if it doesn’t remain there for the duration. We get the chance to find out for ourselves how good the current side is on October 10 when we go there in the ERCFA Senior Cup. With the likes of ‘Nicho’ and Steve Harrod (below) currently plying their wares for Starty’s side there’ll no doubt be plenty of banter flying around as we aim to repeat last season’s victories against the five-times HPL champions.

Elsewhere our two County League sides are away again this Saturday. The Stiffs return to Parkside School to face Goole Goods Office while Maccer’s Casuals are just up the road at Withernsea Thirds. Both teams will be looking to bounce back from opening day defeats and kick-start their seasons.

This schedule leaves the Farm without a game on Saturday, which is not only disappointing for supporters but also for the ground given the current fair weather. Twice already this season, it has been left idle on a Saturday; I just hope we don’t pay for this later in the season when fixtures start to mount up.

Finally, following last week’s cup win it was a happy Lusmore clan that joined Assistant boss Nige and family on Sunday for a jaunt up to Dalby Forest. A good day’s yomping up hill and down dale (and around the gorgeous nearby village of Thornton le Dale) was followed by a sumptuous nosh-up in The Middleton Arms at North Grimston. This was the same watering-hole our party ha d retired to at the end of the “Million Metre Meander” back in May and really is worth a visit. Sadly there was no Timothy Taylor Landlord on offer but Wold Top’s Falling Stone provided a fine substitute as well as the perfect accompaniment to a cracking steak and mushroom pie.

If this weekend proves half as satisfying I’ll be one very happy blogger…

(PHOTOS (from top): Joni Purse scores the sixth goal against Kinsley; Neil Rutter heads home the second (courtesy of Colin Brammer); The Welcome sign at Church Warsop MW (from the club website); Steve Harrod in action for Reckitts at Hedon Rangers earlier this season (courtesy of Colin Brammer))

"Bloody Sky!"

Getting it off my chest about Murdoch's monopoly...

Wasn’t it great being able to watch England’s brilliant World Cup win on “proper telly”; especially so given that the last impressive victory over Croatia was virtually unwatchable thanks to satellite TV?
The now-defunct Setanta were seen as the “villains” on that occasion but usually when issues over lack of free-to-air coverage arise there’s only one culprit - “Bloody Sky!”
Of course the blame shouldn’t actually rest with the TV companies. The fact is that football, rugby and a whole host of sports have in effect “sold out” to the highest bidder with little or no thought to the impact on Joe Public.
Hence the reason why this year’s regaining of The Ashes never caught the mood of the nation in anything like the way its 2005 predecessor did - because most people never saw any of it live. Thanks ECB. And they wonder why kids don’t play cricket at school anymore. Grrrgh.

But although exempt from blame for being awarded the rights (and I’m all in favour of a market economy) it’s what the likes of Sky do with it that hacks me off. The rights to broadcast translates to rights to arrange matches and so football is no longer played exclusively on Saturdays, rugby league no longer provides a Sunday service and you can often have a weekend with no cricket whatsoever. Bloody Sky!
I’ve had many issues with Murdoch’s mob over the years but of late they’ve wound me up even more. In July their decision to switch a rugby match impacted on our planned Sporting Dinner at the KC Stadium; a month later they switched the “Derby” match and thus ruled out my attendance.

It’s not just me. Sky’s switch of Rovers’ Wakefield trip last Saturday, along with its scheduling of the play-offs, peeved Manager Mack whose hopes of seeing The Robins clinch third spot at Belle Vue had to prove subservient to overseeing our own clash against a Wakefield team at Low Farm. (Actually, given the respective results he's probably glad he missed it - and thanks to the defeat, Sky’s chosen scheduling now means he can actually get to the play-off at Leeds on Friday – if Rovers had won at Wakey he’d have had to miss the trip to St Helens due to being at Church Warsop!).
All this comes just a week after passholder Mack was forced to skip his post-match debrief against FC 05 in order to stand any chance of getting to Craven Park in time to see the win over Warrington - another game moved at the whim of Sky.
But while Mack, I and others are regularly inconvenienced by the constant Sky switches, spare a thought for the HKR-supporting bride & groom whose “big day” centred around a reception at the ground last Saturday week only for their best laid plans to be torpedoed by the aforementioned late switch of the Warrington game. Not only were they faced with having to miss their favourites in action but also having to hold their “Do” at the KC Stadium instead!!!
No, getting to watch the Ashes, Rovers’ revival and even City’s promotion to the Premier League hasn’t yet forced me to part with money in support of Murdoch. A fact I’m proud of…and besides, I usually get an invite round to Brim’s to watch anyway.

Bloody Sky!

Make me an offer I can't refuse

Does anybody come out of the Michael Turner episode with credit?

Since the conclusion of the latest transfer window Hull City supporters have been venting their spleen via various media outlets regarding the sale of their “star man” Michael Turner.
As someone whose interest in City is now very much secondary, I must be careful what I say but I must admit I find some of the comments I’ve read and/or heard a tad extreme.
Whilst I’m not the biggest Phil Brown fan, I do think some of the vitriol hurled his way over the move has been ridiculous. From the player’s own quotes it appears clear that he wanted out. Therefore the manager’s hands were tied; end of.
The biggest disappointment for me will come if it’s eventually proved that the deal is worth significantly less than the supposed £12M asking price; that and the fact that City left themselves no real scope to find a replacement.
However, where I appear to disagree with many of the internet posters and phone-in callers is in thinking that Turner comes out of this completely clean. He reportedly went to “further develop” his career at Sunderland. Really? They might be “bigger” in terms of history, crowds and money but they won’t win any silverware or trouble the top four this season. Call me a cynic but I reckon the wages on offer might have had more to do with the decision? Not knocking that as a reason but wouldn’t it be refreshing if a player came out and said so?
The nearest thing we have to the “transfer window” at our level is the annual pre-season scramble to sign players on before anyone else, followed by the messing about when a player then changes his mind before the league season kicks-off. Usually this results in the first club ripping up the original form without any need for a transfer. Not so this year however.
Having already signed Joni Purse and Brett Fisk on ERCFL forms before both then popped up at Low Farm, our neighbours Withernsea were understandably a little hacked-off when Mark Thompson and Owen Mountain both announced their intention to make the same move; even more so when Pasha Brown soon turned quartet into quintet.
As such ‘The Seasiders’ invoked the rules. Thus whereas Owen has since transferred, both Mark and Pasha will now have to wait, 28 days and 56 days respectively, before joining him. And the league season doesn’t kick off until next weekend.
While appreciating how peeved our rivals must have been to see five players wanting to move to the “East End”, all their actions have done is stop lads from playing football. Not to mention sowing seeds that will probably ensure those same players would think twice about returning in the future.
And let’s face it, at least Owen and co really have come to “further develop” their playing careers. Unlike a certain Michael Turner perhaps…

Ups and Downs

Saturday 15 August - Bulwell Town (home) Won 2-1
Saturday 22 August - Parkhouse FC (away) Lost 0-7
Sunday 16 August - Hull KR 26 St Helens 10

Talk about contrasting emotions! Two weeks into the Central Midlands League season and I've tasted the highs and lows of life in the new surrounds.

A fortnight ago, all the previous nine months' hard graft was made worth it when Meddy came off the bench to fire home a last minute winner against Bulwell Town in our very first game in the Black Dragon Premier Division. Okay so not everything ran smoothly - the crowd (55) was, if I'm honest, about half the figure I'd been hoping for and some gloss was taken off the victory by our opponents' decision not to come back for a pint and a sarny at The Neptune. Still, we managed to shift a good few programmes, the Tea Hut did a roaring trade and the referee & liners only popped across the Bridge from Grimsby and Scunny respectively so we even managed to make a small profit on the day. With no injuries to report and Farny - who missed the game - on the mend ahead of the trip to Parkhouse last Saturday, everything looked "tickety boo" in the words of a well-known former gaffer of the club... ...Then came the debacle that was our defensive performance at the Derbyshire based title favourites. A 7-0 defeat cannot be glossed up to sound like anything other than a good shafting. And so it was. We were well and truly mullahed by a side that totally lived up to its pre-season billing. However, we didn't 'arf contribute to our own downfall. At least three, if not four of the goals could be attributed to horrible mistakes in stupid areas - including the decisive third goal just past the hour mark that seemed to knock the stuffing out of us.

Still, it was nice to hear Parkhouse secretary Nobby Clark offer some words of comfort at the end without sounding patronising - words that were backed up in his report forwarded to Frank Harwood for Saturday evening's league round-up. And as we drove back up the M1 on Saturday night I think we all realised - similar to after our 8-1 stuffing at Chalk Lane last season - that these results do come along from time to time. It doesn't suddenly make us a bad side. And if we bounce back from this one as well as we did the aforementioned reversal on the hideous 3G surface at the University then it may well have done us a huge favour.

While the result was one to forget, everything else about Saturday's first away trip was hugely enjoyable. Not least the "crack" among the lads when travelling as "one unit" for two hours there and the same back.

The ground, Mill Lane, was a very neat affair with several features of the sort we'd like to aspire to at The Farm. Everybody connected with the club was keen to make us welcome, the hospitality was first-class and what an absolute gem of a place the nearby Woodthorpe Inn at Old Tupton proved to be. A super spread laid on (Paul take note - I'll be reporting back with details!!) and no less than four guest ales, of which I deemed it only polite to sample two in the time allowed - the Greene King St Edmunds and the Hyde's "Hit the Spot" - both very quaffable I've got to say (though I would live to regret my eagerness to go the extra pint as we neared the Humber Bridge on the way home with not a toilet in sight!). All in all, it was probably the most enjoyable 7-0 thumping I've ever experienced!

Frustration is the overriding emotion as I approach this Saturday given the postponement of the scheduled home game against Dronfield Town, due to their attendance at a wedding. With half a programme already written, it now means a total re-think ahead of the next home game - v FC 05 - on Sep 5th. Several articles will need to be re-written while some of the planned pieces will be rendered out-of-date. Still, at least we're not totally without a game this weekend. Monday sees us make the "short" trip to Hutton Cranswick - I don't think I've ever described it as that before! Always one of my favourite games in HPL days (but not in terms of results!) I'm looking forward to meeting up with the likes of Denis Cox, Jim Ezard and the rest of what is a very friendly crowd down at Rotsea Lane. Just hope their usually excellent hospitality spreads on to the pitch this time around??!!While the First Team is quite rightly hogging the limelight at the moment, I've been impressed with the initial signs coming from Lee's young Reserve squad. A side comprising only one player over the age of 20 emerged victorious from its latest friendly at Amateur League side Eddie Beedle last week and it's to be hoped the confidence gained from such results will stand them in good stead ahead of the forthcoming Premier Division season, which starts on Saturday Sep 12th.

In amongst all the local stuff going on, Emma and I managed to catch Rovers' highly impressive recent win over St Helens - a fact made all the more enjoyable by our tickets being slap bang in the middle of the travelling contingent i.e. right behind the posts at the end at which Rovers scored most of their 26pts (you can see us here, five rows down from the back, four or five seats in from the right - Emma's adhering to the old saying, "If you can't fight wear a big hat!")

Last Wednesday meanwhile saw me make my first trip of the new season to the KC to see City dismembered by Spurs in their opening Premier League home fixture. A strange one this really. Tottenham were good, very good in fact. But I'd have been disappointed if an Easington side had stood off their opponents the way City did in the first 20mins! Then, after Geo's introduction and Hunt's freakish goal, The Tigers really made a fist of it up to half-time...or rather, just before, when Defoe's "Geoff Hurst-like" finish effectively killed the game at 3-1. Anyway, good to see Browny's men bounce back on Saturday to beat Bolton. Now if we can only do the same at Hutton Cranswick...

(FOOTNOTE: For further info on the aforementioned ales see Greene King)

(PHOTOS from top: Both teams emerge from the changing rooms ahead of the historic opening CMFL fixture at home to Bulwell Town (Burt Graham); Today's Main Attraction (own); The lads prior to the Parkhouse game (own); the "Respect" handshake (Burt Graham); Lee Clay scores his and Parkhouse's fifth goal (Burt Graham); Mill Lane, home of Parkhouse FC (Burt Graham); The North Stand at Craven Park prior to the Hull KR v St Helens game (n/k))