September 2014

Bottomed out?

Only time will tell whether or not this was the month in which the season's low point was reached but it certainly felt that way. Not in terms of performances - the Appleby Frodingham defeat on Bank Holiday Monday already had that particular title wrapped up - but just in the seemingly never-ending loss of players. By the end of September two more had gone through the door marked "Exit", including the club captain. But, incredibly perhaps, as players continued to leave, those remaining put together the start of an unbeaten run that by the end of the month had lasted three matches. More importantly there was a spirit being generated within the changing room that I haven't seen for some time. Of course, chances are that this group of lads will experience several more "shellackings" before the season's close but, on early evidence, they will not only still all be there to recount the experience but in time will probably do so with smiles on their faces. I'd like to think that regardless of background or place of origin, the class of September 2014 already count as "true Eastenders"...  

Saturday 6th September

CML North Division

Easington United 3 Bilsthorpe AFC 8

Those thinking that the season’s low point had been reached in the performance against App Frod or in the result at Welbeck were forced to think again by events a week later when this season’s alleged “money bags”, Bilsthorpe, came to the Farm and inflicted a stunning defeat.

What made the result more staggering was that when new boy Danny Barron marked his debut off the home bench by completing the locals’ rally from two down to 2-2, there were just twenty minutes remaining.

Within two more minutes it was 2-4 and in total, Bilsthorpe went on to score SIX goals in THIRTEEN minutes.

The official account of a remarkable game can be found here. 

A full set of photos from the game is also available via our Facebook page.

Tuesday 9th September

CML North Division

Askern 2 Easington United 0

Three nights after the Bilsthorpe battering, we headed off to Askern for our first floodlit fixture of the season. It was also my first trip to Manor Way, having missed the previous season’s game there. What’s more, I was to occupy the technical area in the absence of a right hand man for AG. A return to tracksuit days was in order.

After the usual ‘wacky races’ involved in getting thirteen players and management to Donny via Hull’s “rush hour” had been negotiated, we arrived in good time and ready for action.

What we perhaps weren’t ready for was the sight, or perhaps sound, that would greet us. As Brett Fisk, pressed into service as a substitute, made his way out onto the pitch for the pre-match warm-up he was greeted by a chorus of “You Fat B_____d!” from the grandstand. Moments later, Pasha Brown, another of tonight’s new recruits, had “Beanie from Matalan” sung to him as he and his Judy-knitted bobhat also strode out to the greensward. It promised to be a lively night.

Enquiring as to the source of the noise I was told by a home Committee member that they were local youngsters from the village who’d been present for the pre-season game against a Doncaster Rovers Youth team. The Askern committee had been so taken with the “atmosphere” they created that they’d invited them here tonight for half-price admission. 

Totalling between twenty and thirty in number and aged, I would guess, from about fourteen to twenty, they were armed with a drum and proceeded to create what for this level of football can only be termed a cacophony of sound. Not all of it was polite in its tone and it certainly had our aforementioned Club Sec Judy (making a rare trip to a CML away game) desperate for us to score simply in order to be able to throw some noise back in their direction!

As it was, aside from a header from new boy Matty Dixon, which was cleared off the Askern goal-line in the first half, we rarely looked like breaching the home rearguard and a fairly routine 2-0 home win ensued. Still, once again the effort of those in green and yellow could not be faulted and in Kris Fitzpatrick in midfield we may well have found ourselves another "player". 

As I sat watching the lads tuck into bangers, chips and Yorkshires in the well-appointed Welfare Club post-match, I commented to AG that things perhaps weren't going to be as bad as I'd feared. It certainly felt that way despite a seventh successive defeat.

The official web site report can be read here.

Our Facebook page pictures can be viewed here.

Saturday 13th September

CML North Division

Dinnington Town 1 Easington United 1

My good feeling of four nights earlier had all but dissipated as I prepared to board the Pistol Pete Express the following Saturday. With half-an-hour to departure time for our second visit to “Saarth Yarkshire” inside a week, we had just the ten players ready to pull on the fetching white and red away kit. This number included Jamie Cousins, who as it later transpired would be a virtual passenger on the park - not surprising considering that a hospital visit a week or so later would confirm he was suffering with pneumonia at the time! Ironically, he'd done okay at Askern and appeared to be over the worst of the "chest infection" that he thought was actually the source of the trouble!

Not on board "The PPE" were Marcus (working), Matty (working), Brett (wedding), Pasha (playing for his "other club" Patrington), Jordy (away for a mate’s birthday weekender that he’d forgotten about when confirming his availability only two days earlier!) and skipper Sam (“not fit”).

Help arrived in the form of Phil Jackman, ex-Eastender and up until the previous week, striker with NCEL side Brigg Town. He told us he’d been dropped for their game and therefore – thankfully – was ready, willing and available for ours. We had ourselves an eleventh man.

Another former NCEL ground, Phoenix Park ensured that this again had the feel of a “proper” game and although there was no “choir” or drum, the sizeable home support was still very vocal in its own way.

We silenced them briefly with a superb first half strike from Jacko, one that should perhaps have been added to before Mason headed home an 86th minute equaliser.

Still, it was an enjoyable ride home on “The PPE” that evening. The rot had been stopped. The only downside was that a 10-0 defeat for Brigg probably meant we wouldn't get to see Jacko again for a while. Still, I couldn't help hoping that we had at last bottomed out?

Our official report can be read here. 

The Facebook page picture album can be viewed here.

Saturday 20th September

CML North Division

Easington United 3 Ollerton Town 1

As expected Jacko wasn't available to play against Ollerton. The Brigg resulted had immediately been followed by the resignation of the manager and our hoped-for saviour had been asked to step up and help the new caretaker out. Oh well.

At the other end of the field Luke Nettleship had been an unlikely hero at Dinnington; one superb goal-line clearance forming the centre-piece of an impressive first run as AG’s central defensive partner. Question was: Could he cut it against better strikers such as Ollerton’s Lee Easom, his likely opponent today? Answer: Yes.

At the AGM, belatedly held the previous week, Chairman Doug had asked for a return to “traditional Eastenders spirit”. In short, this meant a combination of sheer bloody-mindedness on the pitch, a refusal to throw the towel-in and good old fashioned “muck or nettles”, with the occasional piece of good fortune thrown in. And that’s what he got - along with some decent football, which this side is still very capable of.

On a day where the weather matched what was required – constant “mizzle” making spectating an uncomfortable affair – the lads dug in to record a win every bit as satisfying as that achieved way back on the opening day. And it was achieved by a bare eleven. Some lads could barely walk at the end. It didn’t matter. We were three points better off and now unbeaten in two. The revival had some legs...

The full account of an excellent afternoon can be found here.

The Facebook page album can be viewed here.

Saturday 27th September

CML North Division

Bentley Colliery 1 Easington United 1

Let me state this first: on performance level alone we didn’t deserve anything from this game. However, throw in the sort of spirit on show the previous week that was replicated to the full at The Avenue and there’s little wonder that Frosty’s last gasp leveller had me performing a David Pleat from the dugout (click the links younger readers if you're not sure what I mean) .

A day that had begun badly - no working indicators on the bus, further squad depletion (skipper Sam and Jordy now having made themselves unavailable for the foreseeable, Jamie ruled out on medical grounds and Jacko having now got the Brigg asst-mgr’s job on a "permanent" basis!) not to mention a gang of local pond-life at the gates to greet us on our arrival - finished with beer at £1.80 a pint in Rhino’s bar, a superb bus ride back (despite lack of winkers!) and few real ales in Patrington with some lads who I hadn’t seen in yonks. Ah, you could say that September had finished on a bit of a high!

The official report can be viewed here.

The Facebook picture album can be viewed here.

All pictures courtesy of Burt Graham.

A full house

A 'Top 20' makes the CML North just like the Premier League!

The constitution for next season’s Central Midlands League North Division has given us a full complement of 20 teams, meaning some 38 league games to be played between 9th August and 16th May.  Wow!

The full house comes courtesy of four new teams coming in, while champions AFC Mansfield follow in the footsteps of Dronfield Town in having gained promotion to the Northern Counties East League.

Of the four newcomers, Appleby Frodingham's relegation from the NCEL offers us a short hop across the Humber Bridge to the Brumby Hall Sports Ground.

Another name familiar with the NCEL is Dinnington Town.  Unlike Appleby Frodingham, however, the South Yorkshire side were not relegated but instead resigned due to ongoing problems with vandalism at their Phoenix Park home.

As reported in the Worksop Guardian it was a sad end to Town’s life at Step 6 but, hopefully, the new club's return to where their forerunners began life in 2000 might signify another upturn in fortunes.

Of the other two new teams, FC Bolsover would appear to have some connection with Sunday League side FC Brimington who many supporters may remember from the old CML Premier Division days. 

As for Bilsthorpe, they’re a Charter Standard club with several junior teams in tow who happen to play at Eakring Road, once home to FC 05 and one of the finest playing surfaces in the competition.

So, overall, it’s good news for the competition.  However, given our lack of floodlights and Low Farm’s susceptibility to standing water, anything like a severe winter will no doubt prompt a sharp intake of breath from our Committee!

My only hope is that new fixture secretary Tony Baugh will set out from the start to allocate us midweek away games at those clubs fairly local to us who possess lights.

Last season, only the away trip to “neighbours” Westella Hanson was allocated a 7.45pm kick-off.  Visits to fellow Yorkshire clubs Brodsworth, Kinsley Boys and Askern, along with nearby Harworth Colliery, were all allocated Saturday dates, leading to something of a fixture pile-up in April and May.

Don’t get me wrong, we were partly to blame due to starting the season late following the countless problems we experienced last summer.  And for simply allowing us to do this we will forever be grateful to the CMFL committee.

That said we did immediately offer to “go anywhere under lights” with the obvious caveat that we’d prefer to avoid the months of January and February when the weather could not only threaten games at short notice but when travelling such distances can become slightly more hazardous.  For whatever reason, these fixtures never happened. I've got a feeling they will this time round!

So, here we go again.  Our fifth season in the Central Midlands League and easily set to be our longest.  Here’s hoping it’s a memorable one.

Bilsthorpe Blues

Saturday 20th February - FC 05 (away) Lost 0-1

It's snowing outside, Steve Wright is playing Hall & Oates' "She's Gone" on the radio and I'm preparing beef bourguignon for Sunday lunch while reflecting on the worst performance by Easington United thus far in the Central Midlands League.  The bottle of claret that forms part of the recipe is getting some hammer.

Yes, for the first time in our brief CML history we are nursing our wounds after suffering back-to-back defeats. And deservedly so.

There are no excuses. It was a perfect pitch in an ideal setting amid favourable conditions. We simply didn’t perform.

The Bilsthorpe Miners Welfare Ground on Eakring Road, home of opponents FC 05, is a picturesque setting. It is railed off on three sides (with rope and stakes on the fourth), it has a smart pavilion adjoining it and the car park is adorned by trees that come close to encroaching on the playing area, giving the venue a slight feel of Canterbury’s St Lawrence cricket ground.

Indeed it was the fault of these trees – or one in particular – that any doubt at all existed about this game going ahead; the shade caused by the overhang meaning that the sun couldn’t get to work in clearing another keen overnight frost from what is one of the finest playing surfaces in the league. Not that we were to use it much.

We arrived at the ground in good spirits following a hassle-free journey aboard the “Riding School Express”. Pete the Driver had made excellent time from Hull and only a minor glitch by the navigator (yours truly) spoilt an otherwise error-free run.

The mood on board was made all the more jovial by the latest batch of “Judy’s Hats”. Now part of official EUAFC merchandise, these hand-knitted bob-hats are enjoying something of a renaissance having first risen to prominence in the mid- to late-Nineties.

They were originally produced by my “Auntie Mon” (Monica Stabler) in the colours of the three Easington teams at the time – green/yellow (Firsts), sky/navy (Reserves) & red/white (Casuals).

Sadly Monica is no longer with us but the hats live on thanks to her daughter, and our long-serving Club Secretary, Judy.

Such is the current demand that Judy is struggling to meet orders (“I’m out o’ wool!”) as another group of players discover the delights of a good hat; even if some of them subsequently resemble characters from “One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest”! Aside from Owen (The Man) Mountain who prefers his own “About A Boy” headgear, the lads have taken the hats on board as part of their match day uniform.

And many may have wished Thommo had kept his hat on when it came to unveiling his new post-ski holiday hair-do for the first time in the changing room...

...As for Chav's "Man In Tights" routine.  Well, I suppose he is a Leeds Utd/Hull FC fan!

Shortly after arriving at the ground I was met by Rob Hornby, CML Registrar and one of the driving forces behind the forthcoming Bonanza. By kick-off he’d been joined by several fellow “Hoppers” including Rambler 77, author of “All Roads Lead To Somewhere”, whose honest account of the afternoon’s events would depress me even more when reading them later on that evening.

I’m pretty poor at recording names so I must apologise to the other “Hoppers” who I encountered. Such as the York City director who, with The Minstermen game-less, had come to Bilsthorpe to watch some decent footy. A shame that.
As he took down our team sheet details he had some kind words to say about us, having been “made most welcome” when visiting Low Farm a couple of years back.

Then there was the gentleman wearing the black & amber scarf, which he acknowledged was representative of his support of The Tigers of Hull and not the nearer-by Worksop as I’d first imagined. Now “exiled” in the People’s Republic of South Yorkshire, his trips to the KC are limited and, at any rate, “I prefer my non-league football these days”.

During a pleasant pre-match conversation he also informed me that he’d be attending the up-coming Bonanza as, despite coming from Hull originally, “I’ve never been to Easington”. He had been to Withernsea and admitted to having “loved it there” as a youngster.
Had he been there recently?
Yes, he’d taken his wife a few years back.
And?
“It’s a shithole”.
I smiled.

Another most amicable bloke is FC 05’s manager/secretary Neil Whitten. Along with making a very nice pre-match brew, he also took time out to apologise for the “other game”, which was shortly to kick off on the pitch situated to the far side of the cricket square.

Strictly speaking, this is in contravention of CML rules but had come about due to the frozen pitch which had earlier forced postponement of this Chad Mansfield Youth League U16 Division encounter from the morning to a 1.30pm kick-off. As it happened, to those who jumped at the chance of having an extra bit of football to watch, it proved an entertaining affair with hosts Bilsthorpe Welfare Youth edging out visitors Skegby Colts in a nine-goal thriller. Ours wasn’t to be even half as entertaining.

Having lost Smalls, Stumo and Hutch through the week and with Frosty still not recovered from the injury suffered at Kiveton, Mack and Nige had made three changes from the starting line-up against Church Warsop.

All three came at the back. New boy Danny Blount and returning skipper AG formed a new-look central partnership (above) with the aforementioned “Man Mountain” coming in at right back.

Meanwhile on the bench were the aforementioned Thommo and Hodgy, deprived of his chance a week earlier by a late switch to the Stiffs.

So despite the changes, it was still a strong looking squad and one that should have been capable of getting a result against opponents we had “battered” when drawing 0-0 at Low Farm in September.

As their name suggests, our hosts were formed in 2005 and have enjoyed a rapid rise from Division 2 of the Midland Amateur Alliance.  Crowned Premier Division champions in 2008/09 they celebrated with admission to the CML and a move to their new home.

However, their form this season has been patchy with last week's defeat at Bulwell Town putting them down among a group of five clubs aiming to stave off re-election.

Initial signs that we could add to our hosts' discomfort were promising as a neat passing move, originating from Chaz’s quick distribution from goal, culminated in left back Bezza latching onto Mozzer’s fine pass but not quite finding the finish to beat goalkeeper Milnes. Good signs. Er, no.

Within a minute we were a goal down – speedy winger Whitten exploiting the space from whence Bezza had come to cross for Speed to head powerfully past Chaz via the underside of the bar; the referee’s assistant signalling correctly that the ball had crossed the line.

And that was almost that in terms of excitement. We had chances to level matters, though not half as many as we should have been able to forge. Farny and Gav both had efforts blocked or saved, Farny also found the top of the net with a header, Jamie Cousins couldn’t quite get on the end of Hodgy’s clever pass, while – in the best opening – Mozzer was denied by Milnes’ sprawling legs having made room in the box.

As we stood there thinking a goal must come eventually – without ever really believing it – one almost did at the other end when, twice, the hosts caught us on the counter. First sub Dodsworth couldn’t convert his first touch after coming on then Chaz did well to drive Whitten too wide.

Late drama should’ve followed when a home defender clearly handled in the box but referee Amadou Jallow was unsighted.  Tempers frayed and there were a couple of little niggling incidents that in truth worked to the advantage of the home team.

Mr Jallow then incurred the wrath of the visiting contingent in a 32-strong crowd when appearing to blow for time bang on 90 minutes – despite there having been several injuries that had required on-field attention, three substitutions and at least a couple of instances of the ref having to tell goalkeeper Milnes to “get on with it” at goal kicks. But this shouldn’t disguise the fact – we were pants.

The mood of many of us was further darkened by news of an early goal for the Hammers at Upton Park, with Craig Fagan’s dismissal following as we boarded the bus for the nearby Welfare Club. It was 2-0 shortly after entering the establishment and I was past caring by the time a third signalled another futile away day for The Tigers.

The post-match fare certainly looked tasty enough (curry & chips) but with another biryani on the menu for later on I declined, instead preferring to check out the available pumps. This completed my day’s disappointment. There was to be no repeat of the wonders that awaited us at Kiveton Park and so I plumped for the Mann’s Chestnut Mild. It was, erm, okay.

Two pints later and it was back aboard the “Riding School Express” and northward-bound. Enough out-takes were supplied to enable the exercising of the vocal chords on all the club favourites as well as ensuring the Asst-Mgr would not be a popular man in his own household the following morning (?!).

And as the night sky took just that little bit longer to come rolling in on our way home, I consoled myself with the thought that there are a lot worse ways to spend a Saturday evening. And there was still the last “Take Me Out” to go home to - “No likey, no lighty”. Don’t knock it; Ant ‘n’ Dec are back next week!

Thanks to Burt Graham again for much of the photography