Time For Action Too

A postponement last weekend and the likelihood of another this should enable me to bring this Blog something like back up to date.  But then again...

Saturday 3rd November

CML North

Easington United 0 Dronfield Town 5

 

There are times in football when you just hold your hands up and acknowledge that the cuffing you've just witnessed your team take was something that was fully deserved...and not because your team played particularly poorly.

Dronfield Town arrived at the Farm as the only team thus far to have beaten big-spending title faves AFC Mansfield.  And according to Sumo, their own billing as potentially Mansfield's closest rivals for the CML North championship is well merited.

From start to finish the visitors were sharper right across the park and had it not been for another faultless display by young Ben in goal, the margin of defeat could have been even wider.

That said, there was no knocking the effort on show from the locals.  They are a keen, young bunch who will improve with time.  One suspects several of these defeats may have to be experienced along the way but although painful, their value could turn out to be huge.
Our report (with pics courtesy of Burt) can be found here.  Colin Brammer's photos can be found here, and Dronfield's very gracious account of the day is here.
FOOTNOTE: Since this was written, Dronfield further underlined their credentials by winning 5-1 at AFC Mansfield on Saturday #justsaying

 

Saturday 10th November

East Riding CFA Senior Cup R2

Hessle Rangers 2 Easington United 1

If several positives could be taken from the league defeat at home to Dronfield, none could be gleaned from the following week's East Riding Cup exit.

Having negotiated a way through the first round for the first time in four years, the lads had a real chance of gaining themselves a place in the quarter-final draw, to be broadcast live on local radio, where a tie against the likes of Hull City, North Ferriby United or Bridlington Town may have awaited them.

Instead they exited with barely a whimper.  Out-played and more disappointingly, out-fought, the display left Sumo absolutely livid.

Plus points? Not many.  Ben couldn't be blamed for either goal, while Fozzy notching for the First Team a week before his 42nd birthday did at least signify one worthy milestone.

Personally, the only enjoyable bit for me was the chance to catch up with Rangers' former manager Keith Picken, who I hadn't seen for some time.  Oh, and thankfully, there was also a cask ale option in the Blackies Social Club!

The full sorry match report can be found here.
FOOTNOTE: Hessle Rangers have since been drawn away to North Ferriby United in the quarter-finals.

 

Thursday 15th November

Secret Affair

@ FruitSpace, Hull
 

I passed up one notable previous opportunity to see Secret Affair in concert close to home.  That was at the Grand Pavilion in Withernsea some thirty-plus years ago.  I wasn't going to miss them a second time!

Thankfully, despite including a certain Sumo among our party, I just about managed to stay sober enough to really enjoy this particular gig (unlike my shambolic state at Geno Washington the previous month).

A couple of real ales in The Minerva whet the appetite for the first visit to the relatively new Fruit on Hull's historic Humber Street.  And on first viewing it's my kind of venue. 

A small, mainly male crowd, many resplendent in their Mod fashions eventually grew towards the 200-250 mark by the time Ian Page and co entered the stage. 

And as the band breezed through a fine set of tunes old and new, our group of four worked our way through the bar's stock of bottled Wadworth 6X.

Faves of the night - in addition to the classic "My World" and "Time For Action" - were the covers of "Going To A Go-Go" and, in particular, "Get Ready".

All in all, a cracking night.  Here's hoping I'm not waiting another thirty years for the next one... 

Saturday 17th November

ERCL Senior Cup R2

Easington United Reserves 4 Holme Rovers 4

(Easington win 3-2 on pens)
 

It's fair to say that perhaps the two best games I've seen at Low Farm in 2012 both involved the Reserves.
And although not quite reaching the heights of excitement of May's South Holderness Cup win, this one will be another that's remembered long after the event...perhaps.
A week after watching the First Team's almost spineless exit from the East Riding Cup, the Stiffs put on an altogether different display to claim another Premier Division scalp in the County League Senior Cup. 
They did it the hard way, turning round a 1-3 deficit to lead 4-3 until the latter stages wherein they conceded an equaliser from a free-kick which also saw goalkeeper Ben Akam sent off.
The penalty shootout was similarly painful to watch, with both sides seemingly doing their best to lose it!  In the event Stumo's "sudden death" effort sent the locals through to the quarter-finals.
Mention must also be made of the Holme Rovers lads who certainly didn't let their "surprise" cup exit spoil their post-match session in The Granby.  Full power to their elbows.
A report of the day's drama, with photos from Craig and Burt, can be found here. 

Saturday 24th November

CML North Division
Easington United 1 Glapwell 1

It's almost pointless commenting on anything about this game other than the man at the front of the above picture. 
I'd like to think I'm pretty fair-minded when I come to referees but Mr Kiecz's display on this particular day at Low Farm can best be summed up as - "he had one".  Well at least we all thought so.  And so did those from Glapwell.
But hey, we're all allowed an "off day" and the next time he officiates at Low Farm he shall receive the customoary warm welcome of all of us on the Committee.  I can't vouch for those in the "North West Ryvita Stand" though...

The full gory details of the events that overshadowed a hard-earned point against a useful Glapwell side can be found here.

 

Tuesday 27th November

Football League Championship
Hull City 0 Crystal Palace 0

Brim Biglin reckons he hadn't been to the KC for "about three years" prior to this trip against one of the current frontrunners in the Championship.  Personally, I didn't think it had been that long.  I always think of our erstwhile groundsman as my main companion to these midweek matches - he traditionally comes away saying, "Well I'm glad I don't have to pay to watch that again Sat'day!"  This time he saids exactly the opposite - and this after a goalless draw.

But surely, nobody at the KC to see the game would disagree with my companion's view that this was a superb City performance lacking only in a touch of quality in the final third.  As one caller to Radio Humberside's post-match phone-in put it: "We murdered 'em nil-nil".

Had Robbie Koren not passed up a first half sitter, the Tigers would surely have gone on to win by two or three, such was their first half dominance.  Even after the break they enjoyed the better chances.

Then, in the dying moments, a piece of brilliance by the much talked about Wilfried Zaha left him one-on-one with City's latest loanee keeper David Stockdale.  Thankfully the Fulham man was equal to the task and a complete travesty was averted. 

The BBC's account of the night City became the first side to prevent the Eagles scoring in a game this season can be found here.  Not bad for a so-called Category C game ;-)

Saturday 1st December

CML North Division

Westella Hanson 5 Easington United 0

Hoping for a repeat of the away win at Glapwell on the opening day (and taking some encouragement from our performance against the same team seven days earlier) I decided to kit the lads out in the maroon number for another away game against a team in black and white stripes.  Call it "psychological", call it "mind games", either way it didn't work.

I've used Burt's picture of the pre-match "Respect" handshake on purpose.  For 34 minutes it was the closest any of our number got to one of their opponents.

We were two down on 5mins, three in fifteen and by just past the half-hour mark I had visions of a need to reach for the record books.  We trailed 5-0 by that point and were in real danger of self-combustion.  If City's game in midweek was Category C, this Ezzie performance on the Bishop Burton 4G was Certificate X!

To the lads' credit, they rallied after the break and gave those of us in the away contingent - which made up a fair percentage of the assembled throng - something to take from an otherwise bitterly disappointing afternoon.

Further consolation was also to be found in a lovely post-match pint of Marstons EPA in the nearby Altisidora...and another win on the road for the Tigers.

Once again we return to the drawing board...

 

Bowing out

Tuesday 20th March

Football LeagueChampionship

Hull City 0 Southampton 2

Saturday 24th March

CML Challenge Cup Quarter Final

Easington United 0 Dronfield Town 4

Well it was good while it lasted. 

As we exited the KC Stadium having seen City come up short against the Championship leaders, many people were already writing off the season: “Should’ve bought a striker”, “should’ve at least brought one in on loan”, “too much pretty passing but nothing going forrad”, “no Plan B”.

Four days later, I was hearing the same tone of discontent as I helped pack things away at Low Farm.  And they were not only from the Tigers contingent among our followers (City having gone down 2-1 at former boss Nigel Pearson’s Leicester) but also from those making reference to a cup exit for the locals that for many appeared to signal the end of our season.

Personally, I couldn’t get too downhearted about the Tigers’ midweek reverse.  Although frustrated by a second half that was effectively killed by a second Saints goal on 59mins, there were still enough glimpses of the sort of football Barmby’s young side are capable of.  And had Robbie Brady not passed up a glorious chance from Josh King’s pass just before the break we may well have seen a different outcome.

It’s the second City defeat I’ve seen this season but, as with the Derby game, it wasn’t one that left me feeling particularly down.  Unlike, it must be said, our weekend defeat by Dronfield.

I blame it on those amber shorts at home...

 Despite the win at Thorne, which arrested our poor recent league run, we all knew a special effort would be required if we were to progress to a first CML cup semi-final.  Dronfield belied the two close games we’d already had with them to look a class apart in terms of form.  Indeed they arrived at Low Farm having lost just once in 15 games.  In addition, the previous weekend had seen them put four past Thoresby in a comprehensive victory watched by a “Bonanza Ground Hop” crowd of 276.  Impressive stuff.

The backlog of home games at County League level meant we had a double-header on at the Farm.  On the pitch across the ditch, the Stiffs entertained Park Athletic in a game they had to win to maintain their lingering hopes of preserving Premier Division status.

The 2pm kick-off meant many of the Farm Faithful could get to see the first half before trailing back across the bridge for the “main feature”. 

Unfortunately, they were to be somewhat disappointed by what they saw.

A rare piece of action in the Dronfield box...it came to nowt

A first half goal for the visitors still left things nicely poised at the break.  Sadly, a second one just five minutes into the second period prompted something of a stroll in the sun for team from north Derbyshire.

Those of a strong constitution can read the full details of our exit here.  Others may want to move swiftly on to the next post!

Freshly squeezed

Saturday 14th January

CML North Division

Easington United 0 Dronfield Town 1

Ours wasn’t the only cup progress to please me last Saturday.  For as we cruised past the hapless Welbeck in the CML cup, the 'Barmby Army' ensured their place in the 4th round of the slightly more prestigious FA Cup, courtesy of a 3-1 win over Ipswich.  My cup certainly was over-flowing that night…

Or rather it would have been had not a pint (bottle) of Wold Top bitter set me back a staggering £3.60!  Bloody ‘ell, thank God Mrs Slush didn’t want one. 

We were at the new Hull Truck Theatre (how long is it before it loses the “new” tag?) to see “The Flint Street Nativity”.  It’s the first of two planned visits to the venue in the early part of 2012; the second one will see us attending Mick Martin’s acclaimed Northern Soul-based production, “Once Upon A Time In Wigan”.  Might have to pack a hip-flask in for that one!

Sunday brought a live FA Cup game on ITV that had actually bucked the trend by filling the ground as Citeh hosted United in the Manchester derby.  Of course the main talking point for the pundits afterwards concerned the tackle that earned Kompany a red card.  However, for me it was the performance of Rio Ferdinand – Lord help us at the Euros if Fabio still fancies him and Terry at the heart of the defence.  And how Micah Richards can’t get in the squad, well…

After Sunderland had breezed past Posh we were treated to the 4th Round Draw, which is a bit of a novelty for Hull City supporters.  Somewhat disappointingly I already knew that the Tigers’ ball was number 11 (why do they have to tell us that?  It surely removes some of the anticipation?) but a home tie with everyone’s favourite (!) former Non-League club Crawley Town should at least prompt hopes of only a second visit to the fifth round since 1989!

Staying with the Tigers, James Greenwood and Les “Amber Nectar” Motherby’s new Hull City Kits site is proving a real hoot for kit geeks like me.  And the duo excelled themselves this week when publishing an insightful interview with Tigers kit-man John Eyre.  Fascinating stuff…if like me you go in for that sort of thing of course!

The prospect of a run in the cup, along with Papa Allam’s promise not to let Nasty Nigel have any of his former players, was enough to persuade Nick Barmby to shed the word “Caretaker” from his Manager title the following Tuesday.  Here’s wishing him the very best of British.

That local delicacy - The Patty

Of course best of British is something we may not be wishing each other for very much longer if Scotland’s First Minister (& Jambos fan) Alex Salmond has his way. 

Given my mother’s maiden name (Douglas) you’ll perhaps not be surprised to learn I’m quite a fan of the Union and therefore strongly opposed to the current calls for Scottish independence.  However, when listening to the likes of Nicola Sturgeon bleating on as she did on Thursday’s Question Time, I do begin to sympathise with those south of the border who favour letting the “troublesome Scots” go their own way (i.e. the people referred to by Philip Johnston's excellent piece in the Telegraph a few days later); that and the fact that it would show the fallacy of Gordon Brown’s original theory that Devolution would strengthen the ties between us!

Hodgy (left) lines up a spare for when Ben's is returned with interest!

Back to football and our own Baris League Challenge Cup third round draw took place at Monday night’s League Committee meeting.  It gave us a home tie against CML South Division opponents in either Bilborough Pelican or Southwell City.  The teams had drawn 1-1 on Saturday and would meet again at the War Memorial Ground on Wednesday week to decide who’s to make the trip out to the Humber Riviera.  Bet they can’t wait!

The first signs of man-flu were beginning to show as match day approached.  I was in a foul mood with work mate Mike whose refusal to stay at home (typical contractor!) had allowed him to spread the lurgy. 

“Might not be able to do the dance class run tomorrow”, I told Mrs Slush on Friday night.

“Well you won’t be fit enough to go to football in the afternoon then?” came the reply. 

“Ah, I’ll have a hot toddy and see how I go…”

I felt a bit better on Saturday morning – good stuff that Balvenie Doublewood - and what a glorious winter’s morning it was.  A white sheen covered the ground but when I dropped the kit off at Low Farm at half past eight, there appeared no danger of our game being off.

In the event it was a good job the game was at home.  Opponents Dronfield reported a temperature of -4C overnight, which would have left Stonelow Road in serious doubt, while the match officials were also prompted to call me before setting off from Lincoln, such was the severity of the frost down there.

Liam does his "floundering" impersonation but all's well

This was to be our first real test since the ‘Festive Makeover’.  Dronfield arrived in second place in the table thanks to an outstanding run of form.  Ten straight wins had been halted only by the Christmas draw at “derby rivals” Parkhouse, a game in which the visitors had come from 3-1 down with ten minutes left to earn a share of the spoils.

Such form made our draw there in October look a decent result.  The feeling was that both Mack and Nicho would settle for a similar outcome this time round.
The afternoon was perfect for football – bright and still.  Dronfield boss Craig Butler described it as “like the Riviera”.  That’s what I’ve been telling people for ages!

There was a bit of controversy beforehand when Biggy Smalls was omitted from the squad, having completed a 14-mile run that morning before duly posting the fact on Facebook.  There’s no doubting that Craig’s probably the fittest member of the current squad but the management were certainly not impressed that this had formed part of his “pre-match preparation”.  Not the start to the afternoon that was required.

Luke’s continued absence on a skiing holiday and Perry’s decision to take up the offer of regular HPL football elsewhere meant the total number of new faces in the squad was five – Mr Matongo being joined in the starting eleven by new keeper ‘Patty’ (signed in midweek from HPL side Hedon Rangers) while Robbie, Alex and Tom comprised the bench.

Can't see a foul there myself?

Dronfield’s official website would later inform us thay had “eight first team regulars” missing.  Considering they named a 23-man squad for the programme, I’m not sure that was such a blow!
Still, they started like a team who were confident of maintaining their title aspirations; neat and tidy approach play, good movement, confidence on the ball but, thankfully, no end product – at least for the first half.

‘Patty’ was forced into just the one real save, and that originated from his own error.  And although we didn’t create much, half-time arrived with most in the disappointingly small crowd feeling there were some points to be had.

Sadly, such thoughts would be dispelled just before the hour mark when Karl Hobson scored in an incident that also saw the unfortunate Nicho carted off to hospital with suspected knee ligament damage.

As our official report says, we twice came close to levelling matters, while at the other end sub Jamie Wallis should have increased the visitors’ lead.  But his finishing was, to quote a saying familiar to the aforementioned Alex Salmond, “pish”.  It remained one nil.

Although beaten, I took a lot of positives from the day – nobody expects to bed-in seven new players in such a short time and there were plenty of encouraging signs on show...despite what our opponents' report said ;-) 
  

Holy (All) Saints - another one gets away!

My mood was further lightened by news of a much better display (despite defeat) by the Stiffs and a fourteenth consecutive win for the Casuals, Robbie Koren’s spectacular winner against Peterborough and a twitter-feed full of Leicester fans demanding Pearson’s head.  Bitter? Moi?!

As I performed the Saturday evening clearing away duties, to the accompaniment of a glass of sloe gin and the sound of Henry’s Jukebox on local radio, with his fine mix of “classic blues, swing, rock & roll and soul”, I was once again convinced that we were on the up...for now!

Postscript: Given the title of the post it would be remiss of me to leave without posting a couple of gems from those lovely guys at, wait for it, Freshly Squeezed. Ha, get it?
Aw, it's ferkin seamless this blog...

A week is a long time...

Saturday 1st May - Thoresby CW (away) Won 2-1

Easington Utd Reserves 0 Viking Raiders 3

Easington Utd Casuals 7 Eastrington Village Reserves 1

Monday 3rd May - Dronfield Town (away) Lost 0-1

Tuesday 4 May – Easington Utd Reserves 1 Hedon Rangers Reserves 0

Saturday 8 May – Bentley Colliery (away) Lost 0-3
 

 "The best thing about Bentley? 

Meat 'n' tatie pie for a pound. Lovely."

I type this opening paragraph as Britain ushers in its first Conservative Prime Minister in thirteen years.  David Cameron finally got to enter No.10 Downing Street some five days after his Party had polled most votes at the General Election.  Well they do say that a week is a long time in politics.

It’s a bloody long time in football too.  On May Day Bank Holiday Monday we boarded a minibus bound for north Derbyshire full of hope that a superb run of form was set to take us to a runners-up finish in the CML Premier Division.  Five days later – Saturday just gone – our final placing was actually confirmed as fifth.

This time of the year is frenetic for those of us involved with local football, especially when there’s the added bonus of a run to a cup final.

And so while my thoughts this past week or so have primarily been concerned with the First Team’s attempts at chasing down Parkhouse and Dronfield in the race for second, the Reserves’ H. E. Dean Cup run has provided a welcome distraction.

As posted last time the Stiffs reached the final courtesy of their abandoned game against Highland Laddie.  Their opponents at Bridlington Town’s Queensgate home will be Viking Raiders and by virtue of the ER County League Premier Division fixture list, the Goole side were scheduled to visit Low Farm for a kind of “dress rehearsal” the following weekend.  And I would be there.

By rights of course I should have been with the First Team at Thoresby Colliery Welfare.  However, for the first time this season I was set to miss a CML fixture involving the Eastenders; the reason being that most major of footballers’ bugbears – a wedding!

If I’m honest I quite like a good wedding bash (to be fair, I’m now in the age bracket that renders such invitations a rarity).  The chance to down a few pints before trying to recreate my dancefloor moves to The Specials et al whilst at the same time forgetting that my body is no longer as flexible as it once was, is not to be missed (even if it ALWAYS leaves Mrs Slush less than impressed).  But when such an invitation involves missing my footy, well…

One of the rare times the Casuals didn't score

Thus it was to Low Farm I ventured.  Here, along with the aforementioned raid by the Vikings, the Casuals were wrapping up their Division 5 campaign at home to wooden spoonists Eastrington Village Reserves.  One for the purists this.

Despite the latter concluding things in style, courtesy of a resounding 7-1 win over their visitors, my attention remained almost exclusively with the Reserves.

"Right, so who put the wrong kit out for the Reserves?"

Unfortunately neither my support (nor an unusual kit combination of home shirts with away shorts & socks!) could yield a win.  Kev’s lads slumped to their first defeat in eleven matches, courtesy of a 3-0 scoreline in which all three Viking goals came from glaring defensive errors.  One for the manager to work on there before the 22nd of May!

Not as nice as a wedding marquee - I'll get me coat!

With an hour’s difference in kick-off times the Stiffs were already bound for defeat when I established phone contact with Photgrapher Burt at the Lido Ground, home to Clipstone Welfare and host venue for Thoresby whose Edwinstowe ground had been given over to cricket.

“How we doing?”

“One-nil up, Gavin early on.  Charlie hasn’t touched the ball yet”

“Fost rate.  Keep me posted.”

Twenty minutes in and all was going well.  But just as the final chairs were being put away following the Reserves reverse, my phone rang.

“1-1”

“Bloody hell, is that their first shot?”

“Yep”

 

Get in there!

Now I’ve spent many anxious moments on the touchline during my twenty years involvement with Easington United.  Most of these have come during derby games against Withernsea – rarely enjoyable occasions despite our excellent record in them.  But I’ve got to say the half-hour spent waiting for Burt to update me with news from Nottinghamshire that Saturday afternoon was the most excruciating football experience I’ve had in a long time.

He rang again just before I left the ground.

“2-1. Andy special from thirty yards”

“Get in there!”

Then nothing.  Five minutes. Ten. Fifteen. Twenty – I couldn’t stand it.

“What’s happening?”

“Well, nothing really”

“What d’you mean “nothing”. Is it still 2-1?”

“Yeah”

“And…”

“Oh, Mozzer just hit the post, free-kick, twenty yards…”

 This week's Spot The Ball competition

I couldn’t take much more of this.  It didn’t help that my background accompaniment to this was Mrs Slush warning me about my conduct at the aforementioned wedding bash we were about to attend and Radio Humberside’s fever-pitched commentary on Grimsby Town’s vital League 2 relegation battle against Barnet.

As the game at Blundell Park went into five minutes injury time I rang Burt for the umpteenth time.  I was greeted by a voice booming out, “Grrrreeeeeennnn  Arrrrrrrrrrrmmmyyy!”  Ah, all was well.

I didn’t find out until much later how tight a struggle the game had actually been and how poor Dave ranked our performance.  No matter; the win meant we were still on course for second.  A win at Dronfield two days later and another at Bentley would guarantee runners-up medals.

AG with that bloke from the Bonanza

At conclusion of the Thoresby match, CML Registrar Rob Hornby – yes, him again – was on hand to present members of our entourage with the trophy won for being voted best host club at the March Bonanza.  A nice touch.

Dronfield Town were formed in 1998, although their programme informs us that football in the town was played “as early as beginning of 1860’s”.  The current club started life as a junior side before the adult section reappeared via the dads of those youngsters deciding it was time to have a go themselves.  After four successful seasons in the Midland Regional Alliance, Town entered the Central Midlands League for the 2009/10 campaign.

Their success has been instant and but for a blip in form in March – losing three and drawing one of five matches – they would surely have challenged Church Warsop for the title.

Banksy's been at Stonelow

As it was the defeat at Low Farm had left the hosts needing to take at least a point off us in the return to ensure they remained in the driving seat for second spot.

In typical Bank Holiday manner, the weather en route to Derbyshire and on arrival at Coal Aston CC’s ground on Stonelow Road (to which Dronfield’s pitch is attached) comprised a mix of all four seasons – sun, wind, rain and hail.

A Bank Holiday and Pete takes Mrs. F. out for the day

There was a mood of quiet optimism among the players as we disembarked from Pistol Pete’s “Riding School Express”.  It was a similar story among the travelling contingent of supporters, which today included Mr & Mrs Farndale for the first time.  As we sat with several groundhoppers in the neat cricket pavilion before kick-off, with Sky Sports News informing us of City’s pursuit of the 19-0 win at Wigan that would take their relegation fight to the final Sunday of the Premier League season, there was a growing conviction that this would be our day…

The feeling was reinforced when a mistake by a nervous town defence allowed Thommo the first whiff of an opening inside the first thirty seconds.

Gradually, though, the hosts found their feet and put us on the back foot; Charlie going full length to keep out one effort while corners provided a constant threat.

Not this time...

 ...Nor this!

But as the half approached its conclusion, we created the better chances.  Thommo (twice) should have down better, Gav somehow failed to convert from close range and Chav fired just wide before Thommo just couldn’t quite get over his header in the final act of the half.

There was plenty to suggest that the second half would provide us with further chances for the winner that would make us favourites to clinch runners-up medals.  And as news filtered through of Mark Cullen’s goal at the DW stadium I was in good spirits as I took my place near the home dugout.

But on 55mins came the moment that shattered our dream.  A right-wing corner, near post flick and a free header for Brett Gibbons that Chav couldn’t quite keep from entering the net would prove the defining moment.

In fairness, we pressed to the bitter end for a point that would have at least taken things to the final game.  And AG, pressed into service as an emergency centre-forward, twice came close to achieving just that.  But it was not to be.

It was therefore a dejected group of players and supporters who retired to the nearby Pioneer Club where, awaiting us – in addition to a fine pint of Old Speckled Hen – was a plate of beef dripping sarnies! Fantastic. Despite feeling my arteries closing up with each mouthful, it was almost enough to make me forget the magnitude of what had just happened out on the field.

We bade our farewells and with the required “offies” on board, our spirits had improved considerably by the time we stopped off at The Country Park Inn overlooking the Humber Bridge.

 "Win or lose we'll have a booze..."

 

The reason for the stop-off was that Pistol Pete had been requested to pick up a young Italian lady from the train station (don’t ask) and she would not be there until some time later than that at which we would have originally hit Hull.  So as I slurped a fine pint of Black Sheep watching the sun set over the muddy old ‘Umber, thoughts already turned to the challenge still awaiting the lads – finish top four!

 Spills & thrills in the SH Cup

Before the lads had chance to pursue this aim, the Stiffs began their South Holderness Cup campaign with a Preliminary Round tie at home to Hedon Rangers Reserves.

And on a fine spring evening they confirmed their passage courtesy of Stu Campbell’s exquisite first half finish.  Granted, Hedon can feel themselves slightly unfortunate, having created the bulk of the chances in a very entertaining affair.    

 Once more into the unknown...

And so to the final game of our debut season in the Central Midlands League, away at Bentley Colliery; it was almost a local derby given the mileage!

Our reasons for wanting to secure fourth (third was a non-starter once Parkhouse had gained the points from Welbeck’s inability to fulfil the fixture – their goal difference being vastly superior to ours) was that the FA’s lack of response on the North/South proposals for 2010/11 had set many people thinking that the current set-up would remain.  If so a top four place might just prove enough to get us up (given rumours of Forest Town’s defection at the season’s end and Louth Town’s promotion to the East Midlands).

Hosts Bentley Colliery were founded in 1926 and for a time played in their own Bentley League competition.  They progressed to the Doncaster & District League during the 1950s until 1965 when the football section was closed down by the Welfare.

Re-emerging to play Sunday football in 1976, four years later the club rejoined Saturday competition courtesy of a return to the Doncaster League.  After considerable success, Bentley were elected to the Central Midlands League in 2001, clinching promotion to the Supreme Division five years later.  They lasted therein one season before being relegated due to having no lights.  

Creekit

Lack of lights was the least of the home club’s worries on our arrival.  According to Secretary Pete Tooth’s programme notes, the Club were likely to lose the use of their portacabin changing rooms following “problems” with owners Wyckham Estates.  This would result in them having to revert to shared use of the cricket facilities across the road – hardly an ideal scenario.  

A pre-match Dressing Room is a hive of activity

Having set the kit out I took advantage of the locals’ hot food facility; a tasty meat & potato pie setting me back just a quid.  I also passed a few moments with some groundhoppers from Scarborough, one of who announced his intention to visit Low Farm for the forthcoming South Holderness Cup Final.  

 Dooley & Pistol Pete discuss the feasibility of moving this Stand to Low Farm

Like Dronfield’s Stonelow home, The Avenue is tidy enough affair.  Neatly railed off on all four sides, it has the now familiar basic main stand along one side.  However, conversation with one of the locals informed me that this was a “new” stand which had replaced the original.  This perhaps explains why it stands a fair distance back from the touchline.  

 All they need is a paper bag and some liquor

 F-Troop arrive

Hard standing was present down just one side and this is where another sizeable travelling contingent took up position in tim to see the hosts carry out their “crack an egg” pre-match routine.

Whether this was a one-off to mark the end of the season or a regular jape I’m not sure (it’s an awful waste of eggs!) but they could afford to be in good spirits.  Bentley came into the game on the back of four straight wins, the most recent a 4-1 drubbing of newly-crowned champions Church Warsop.  They had every right to feel they would make it five this particular afternoon.  

 There's a clue as to the best place for those boots Gav

To be honest I’ve already tried to erase most of the ninety minutes from memory.  In particular I don’t wish to be reminded about the first half, which saw the hosts open up a match-winning three-goal lead.  And although the second period saw a marked improvement, it was never likely to yield the point that would have salvaged fourth.  

 Taking a tumble on the pitch...

...but still standing after it

Post-match hospitality was provided in The Jet, which adjoins the cricket ground (and is presumably the source of the “Jet Men” nickname on the programme).  No cask ale but a tasty enough cold buffet and spirits were further lifted by the free crates supplied by Dooley Cousins as an end of season present.

Yorkshire Main’s win confirmed our slip from second to fifth.  No matter; the beer was now doing its thing.  Having enjoyed our Monday sojourn at The Country Park, we again chose it as a stop-off and followed this up with one at The Crooked Billet (where bridges required building after misdemeanours on the recent “Bevy Bus” night).  A fine pint of Jennings Tom Fool helped lighten the mood further.  

 The fans favourite get's a last match love-in!

I arrived home some nine hours after setting off to Bentley and some nine months after boarding the “Riding School Express” for the first time, bound for Parkhouse on that gorgeous summer day back in August.  In the words of Phil Brown: this really has been “the best trip I’ve ever been on”!  Thanks again to Burt G for the photography