Bring me laughter

Sumo fronts the Farm's ‘Fun Boy Three’!

‘The Sumo’ is back! 
Six years after he last occupied the Low Farm “hot seat”, Sean McLaughlin returns to succeed the man who succeeded him.  And first impressions would suggest the natives are quite happy with the appointment.

Pleasingly, among those extending their best wishes for the future was the man he’s replacing; pleasingly too, these wishes were much appreciated and reciprocated by the incoming boss.  It’s no secret that there has been plenty of acrimony in the past between both so any potential thaw in relations is welcome!

It’s not only Dave with whom Sean hasn’t always seen eye-to-eye in recent times.  It took a party at New Year 2011 to help me and our "new" manager settle our particular differences, following several football-related disagreements.

Sumo's speech has Nige counting ball panels (Burt Graham)

But all that’s in the past.  It’s time now to look forward and from the feedback received after last Saturday’s first training session, it would appear we have reason to be cheerful.

Sean’s appointment was confirmed last Wednesday (4th) with the Committee opting for the former boss ahead of several other candidates, following advertising of the post locally and via the internet.

One of those losing out in the final reckoning, Nicho, had his disappointment cushioned by the alternative offer of a coaching role in the new-look set-up.  Meanwhile, club captain Andy Graham – seen by many as a future Eastenders boss – has taken his first step on the ladder by being appointed asst-mgr.

Sumo has been quick to set out his stall to the players, saying he wants them to begin enjoying their football again after what was a difficult 2011/12.  Not surprisingly this went down well - with the exception of an unnamed goalkeeper who, it would appear, would prefer to win while not enjoying himself!?  Or perhaps I’m being harsh. 

That's it...put a smile back on faces! (Burt Graham)

Anybody who interpreted Sean’s comments as a lack of ambition is greatly mistaken.  His previous honours at the club stretch way back to the ER County League Division 3 and 4 titles he helped win as a player back in 90/91 and 95/96.  Cutting his management teeth with the Reserves yielded success in the 2000/01 ER County League Junior Cup and immediate promotion to Division 2.  As assistant-boss to the legendary ‘Mickey Bo’ Wilson, he shared in the 02/03 South Holderness Cup and Withernsea Carnival triumphs, along with a hitherto unprecedented top five placing in the HPL that same season. 

Then came the coup de grace as Sean celebrated promotion to the role of First Team manager in 2003/04 by achieving a runners-up position in the league, alongside the HPL Cup and the two local trophies previously won as Bo’s number two. 
I think it’s safe to assume therefore that no team of Sean’s will simply be allowed to go through the motions!

A turn for the better? (Burt Graham)

There were some interesting faces on show for the first pre-season session at the Farm and, although history has taught me never to believe anything until there’s a signature on the dotted line, chances are that the appointment is already having an effect in terms of recruitment.

Whether we are blessed with new players will become more apparent when the lads take to the pitch for their first friendly in just over a week’s time.  This comes on 24th July when HPL side Crown provide the opposition on the impressive 4G surface at South Holderness School.
The first chance the Farm Faithful get to see Sumo’s side in action comes on Saturday 28th July when Sculcoates Amateurs, one of the leading sides in local football, are the visitors.  They are followed by the East Riding County Juniors Rep squad (Wed 1st Aug) before the locals wrap up their pre-season schedule a week later, away at Long Riston from HPL Division 1.
Why not come along for the ride - it promises to be an entertaining one...

What happened to pre-season?

Wednesday 27th July - friendly
Easington United 2 East Riding CFA Juniors 1
Saturday 30th July - friendly
Easington United 2 Long Riston 0
Monday 1st August - friendly
Easington United An.XI 2 St Andrews 0

It's quite ironic that as the pre-season programme shifted up a gear, I shifted out of the area.  A mini-break "darn sarf" meant I missed out on the annual meeting with the East Riding County Juniors Rep side, while attendance at a CML Meeting ensured I passed up a first viewing of the new Stiffs management's first game in charge.

Having been heartily encouraged by the opening game effort against HPL champions Sculcoates, I set off to Old Windsor ("home to the Anglo-Saxon Kings of England") buoyed further by news of a couple of possible "new faces" in the side for the midweek meeting with the County Rep side.

And as I retired to the superb Beaumont Estate Hotel - accompanied by Mrs Slush, two very tired Slushettes and a KFC Bargain Family Bucket following a fantastic first day at Legoland - it was with spirits further lifted by confirmation that both had played in the night's 2-1 success.

All thrills & spills when the County Juniors come calling

I took a more detailed account of the night's events over breakfast the following morning; it had been the usual fast-tempo affair against some of the brightest young talent in the County.  Steve Harrod - back in an Ezzie shirt for the first time in three years - had netted a fine first and after the Juniors had cashed in on a Charlie error late on, Andy Martin had snatched the win with a very late penalty.

Both the aforementioned "King Harrod" and fellow new face "Sammo" had enjoyed the game and hopes were high that both would decide to sign for the coming campaign.  I departed for a day on the Pirates Landing, the Viking Rafts and the Atlantis submarine in extremely good spirits.

The King is back...but for how long?

By time I'd returned to the Humber Riviera, things had moved on a touch.  For a start the "King" had since decided against a return to Low Farm, while our other possible new recruit had cricket, a wedding and holidays to occupy his thoughts before turning attention to what his winter sporting pursuits would be.
And so it was a relatively familar side that took to the field against HPL Division 1 side Long Riston for our final home friendly of pre-season.

It's like playing against the Argies...

On a glorious afternoon the visitors provided just the sort of stubborn test required to bring everyone back down to earth after the fine performances that had preceded it.  Indeed it wasn't until Bezza and Frosty struck inside the last five minutes that Riston's spirit was broken.
Monday saw Stiffs management duo Danny Medforth and Lee McGeachy get their first taste of dugout action as the "Reserves" (as if you can term them that before the season actually starts?) entertained newly promoted HPL Premier Division outfit St Andrews.

Back home - the "dynamic duo"!

As with the previous midweek fixture, I was unable to attend due to other commitments; which in this case involved sitting in a sweltering Glapwell Community Hall for the CML Special General/Pre-Season Meeting.  Not my first choice of how to spend Yorkshire Day!
A phone call to Meddy at conclusion of the meeting gave me a brief report of what had been a very heartening night for the Stiffs' new boss.
Shane Keyworth and Jimmy Dawson had made their anticipated returns to the ranks following a spell at Withernsea and shared a goal apiece in a 2-0 win.
So, four friendlies, four positive results.  Next up, the Holderness Cup Winners Cup Final...

Most photos here courtesy of Burt Graham

Up and running again

Saturday 23rd July - Friendly
Easington United 2 Sculcoates Amateurs 2

At least after all the shenanigans on the programme front, the "new look" side did themselves proud on the pitch.  A well-deserved draw against the Humber Premier League champions but, perhaps more importantly, a superb attitude shown both on and off the field by all involved.  I best stop typing now before I get too excited...

A brief description of events would be - Scully start strong but we have the better chances; on 16mins Charlie commits a foul that would no doubt have resulted in a card in any competitive game - escapes punishment and proceeds to save Lee Benham's penalty; we continue to cause problems for the visitors defence and Sculcoates keeper James Hitchcock comes to the fore, while Gav clips the bar with one exquisite effort; before the break Gav scores while Scully wait for a flag that never comes.

Second half - Danny Drayton soon levels after a defensive lapse; Chaz saves well from Sean Lyons before we begin carving out more chances at the other end - Hitchcock denying Gav twice and Frosty, while Jamie fires just wide; great move on 82mins sees Frosty tee-up Gav for a second; Scully then level through Lyons and Hitchcock saves from young Sam Mac at the death.

Full time - back to pub where I miss out on bread & dripping!

If you want a more detailed account I suggest you look here while a full set of Colin Brammer's match photos can be found here.

As for me, after a couple of decent pints of Tetley Cask and an upbeat post-match chat with the new management, Chairman and Vice Chairman, it was back home to cook and enjoy a bit of Mexican cuisine and the sounds of The Motown Show on Smooth Radio.  Oh yes, I know how to enjoy my Saturday nights...

Programme faults

Not the start to pre-season I was looking for...

I knew everything was going too well.  The usual Friday night panicsurrounding the following day's programme hadn't really materialised; both Andy and myself had been calm, composed and - perhaps more surprisingly - pretty well organised (now there WAS a first!).

Aside from a bit of design work on page 3 (oo-er) the new-look match programme was just about wrapped-up and both of us were happy with the end result.  Of course I'm not going to claim it was all our own work...in fact I've got to say most of it was Lewes FC's work - well, their design ideas at any rate.  But we'd tweaked certain bits to our liking - we're not simple plagiarists you know.

And so with Mrs Slush out for an Indian, the Slushettes away with the fairies and the programme (almost) put to bed, I treated myself to a large glass of Chilean Red and sat down to enjoy Fire In Babylon, the brilliant film account of the glory years of West Indian cricket.  Ooh, and while you've got to say Michael Holding's bowling action ("Whispering Death") was a thing of great beauty, it was still bloody painful to look at the footage of what it did to Brian Close!

I woke up the next morning in fine spirits.  The day had dawned fine, I was in good time to get a hectic Saturday underway and despite the rumoured defections of a few faces from last year, I was in quietly confident mood about the season to come.  Then I got into the office.

One "Security Patch" upgrade on my PC and a dodgy printer later - some two hours in time - I was behind schedule and with only 16 completed programmes to show for my "efforts".  All had an annoying red flash running down the right hand side of certain pages.  My tourettes kicked in big style.

Three hours later - having delivered the Elder Slushette to her dance class and back, and having laid out the kit in preparation for the arrival of the players - I was back in the office to have another bash.  This time I managed 25 copies, 3 of which were "red-free".  They would have to do.  I raced back to the ground - avoiding the Easington Wedding of the Year" which had drawn a small crowd of well-wishers to the Square - hoping the players would offset my darkened demeanour with a performance to savour.  Thankfully, they did.

No pain no gain

Who's in, who's out come pre-Season?

I've grown to hate certain aspects of the "close season" period from late May to early/mid-July.  It's not so much the fact that there is no football (as a club administrator I'm glad of the rest).  Instead it's the fact that due to our players being non-contract you can never quite be sure just who'll be there at the first session.

As such I was more than a little wary when I set off down to the Farm on an overcast Tuesday evening a fortnight ago for the first meet-up of players since the weekend's announcement of a couple of new faces at management level.

I'd already been tipped off that one, possibly two, of our core squad from last season had been training elsewhere and may not be re-signing this term, while another player had announced via Facebook that he was switching to "kick and clap".  Even among those who were expected to sign-up again for the coming campaign, we already knew of several first night no-shows due to various reasons, from work and holiday to "fitting an alarm system" and "got a plasterer coming round"!  With the decision having been made to restrict training for the first few weeks solely to those likely to be in contention for first team slots, this all left me thinking that the eventual turnout may well match the accompanying conditions. 

Thankfully, this wasn't the case.  

"I won't lie, this is going to hurt you more than it'll hurt me..."

About half Mack's anticipated first team complement were in attendance and despite persistent drizzle during what was a fairly stiff 90-minute session, all appeared to enjoy it and keen to kick-on in the coming weeks. 

Among those present at the first session were new First Team player/coach 'Nicho', back with the club after a couple of years (at Reckitts) and new Reserves player/boss 'Meddy', back with the club after a couple of years (at Withernsea).
A couple of weeks on and things are just about falling into place ahead of the opening pre-season game this Saturday, against HPL champions Sculcoates Amateurs.  The possible loss of two, maybe three, players from last season has been offset by the arrival of a couple of new faces and the anticipated return of a few more, giving Mack something to work with over the remaining three weeks prior to the big kick-off.

"No Mrs Brown, your son's doing fine...he's just blowing a bit..."

We currently have three games lined up ahead of the start of the new CML season.  Following Scully, the East Riding County Juniors make their annual trip to the Humber Riviera on Wednesday week before we meet Hornsea Town on Friday 5th August, hopefully for the Holderness Cup Winners Cup.  I say "hopefully" as there's been a bit-of-a-to-do involving our north Holderness rivals' right to be in the fixture, on account of there has been no Tanton Cup (the normal qualification process) this year.  I won't bore you with any further details...yet!
There should have been a fourth fixture on the calendar but both Grimsby Borough and Scarborough Town have pulled out of the 30th July date.  At time of typing this I'm still waiting to see if Mack has filled the date to his satisfaction.  If not we could always do some more running...

"You shouldn't even see a football before August"

Away from the action, I've been busy working on the new look programme and coordinating the first Eastenders Kit Sponsorship Raffle.
The latter has proved a real bonus.  Over twenty businesses are currently in the hat for next Wednesday's draw, with the first three out gaining a shirt sponsorship deal for the coming campaign.  And thankfully, there's not a "Twydale Turkeys" among them (Hull City supporters of a certain vintage will know what I mean!).
The kit raffle is being carried out in conjunction with Mansfield kit suppliers Hero, to who we are returning some twenty years after we last wore their merchandise.  Of course, this arrangement hasn't met with the approval of all.  "Why can't we have Nike?" has been an oft-repeated question in recent days.  "Because they don't do green & yellow quarters" is the short answer.
To my mind, working with a lesser-known brand name fits in with our rather unfashionable image and anyway, a company that is still going after 25 years in this day and age must be doing something right.
The weekend coming up also sees the second annual Fun Day take place at the Farm.  Again the centrepiece is the "Awd Ezzies" v "Ex-Tigers" match in memory of much-missed former Eastender "Raggy" Hudson.  I've been informed tonight that a certain Mr Windass is on the cards to appear this year, having been forced to drop out last year due to some poxy Master tournament on Sky.  Here's hoping.

Keep on running

With pre-season meetings and another sponsored event just around the corner, the new season is definitely upon us.  It's a busy time down on the Farm...and in some cases a painful one!

The waiting is nearly over...again

CML football returns to the Farm tomorrow - the perfect antidote to a World Cup hangover!

Two men and a tent...or two

Tomorrow brings the visit of Bulwell Town to the Easington Rec & Sports Ground, or Low Farm as we all know it, for the first game of the 2010/11 season in the Black Dragon Premier Division of the Abacus Lighting Central Midlands Football League.

By coincidence the Nottingham side were our first visitors last year, for our inaugural game in the competition.  A repeat of that afternoon's 2-1 win would be nice.

One repeat we won't be looking for is of the events that happened in April's return fixture at the Goosedale Sports Ground.  The fallout from that day is still to be finally mopped up although the findings of the recent Disciplinary Hearing at the East Riding County FA has at least satisfied us that we shouldn't have much cause for further concern.

We come into tomorrow's game on the back of four pre-season matches and the best attendances at training that I can recall.  Off the field we appear to have forged a new spirit of togetherness throughout the three teams that, if I'm being totally honest, perhaps wasn't always there before.  

Plus our decision to relocate all teams to The Granby this term means that although I forsake a pint of Black Sheep every post-match Saturday, I've been given the opportunity to sample some of the local Great Newsome Brewery's seasonal affairs.  And if recent offerings Haymakers Tipple and Rouging Reward are a taste (literally) of what's to come then 2010/11 could be an exciting season!

Saturday 17th July - Friendly v Hamilton Panthers 
(away) Won 3-1

This year's first batch of hopefuls

The pain of England's abysmal World Cup showing was barely three weeks old when we boarded Pistol Pete's Riding School Express for the first pre-season game, away at York side Hamilton Panthers.  And while several other residents of the East Riding (described as Hull City fans but obviously nothing of the sort) took it upon themselves to trash a local hostelry on the same day, this particular football fan enjoyed seeing his side run out 3-1 against our York League opponents.  Farny with a brace before jetting off on hols and JC with the other.

The game took place on York College's impressive 3G surface but it was the post-match destination that had me most excited.  Our post-match sesh on last year's trip to York had seen us take up residence in The Ainsty to watch the Hull KR v Hull FC derby game.  And the pub had been an absolute gem with a selection of fine cask ales on offer.

Oh what a come-down this time.  Of the six pumps available, only John Smith's Cask was on (the Adnams Broadside having just gone off) and the immediate tasting notes from Assistant Nige weren't favourable!  So, it being summer and a pleasant enough day, I chose a cider and sat next to The Passionate One, DC, who'd hot-footed it over along with sidekick Pash, from the former KitKat Crescent where Daniel Cousin's late strike had put Conference side York to the sword.

Any disappointment at lack of real ale was more than atoned for by the quality and quantity of food brought out (although it wasn't until half-an-hour later that we realised it hadn't all been intended for us!).

En route home, Pistol Pete's requirement for a birthday card for 'The Gaffer' meant an unscheduled stop-off in Beverley where it would have been rude not to have a pint.  And so to The Beaver we adjourned, where a very nice pint of Deuchars IPA went some way to atoning for the Ainsty's shortcomings.

Beers in the Beaver

One cat-fight later (great entertainment when your friends/family etc aren't directly involved) and we were back on the bus and on the way home.

"Nine hours out for ninety minutes football", said Mrs Slush as I stumbled through the door.  "It's going to be a long season".  Aye, perhaps she's right I thought.

Since the York trip the First Team have had three friendlies, all at home.

Saturday, 24th July - Friendly v Barton Town Old Boys 
(home) Lost 3-4

This was  a game forged out of the good relations Manager Mack enjoys with new Barton boss (& former Westella manager) Dave Anderson.  For us it was an excellent one to host, bringing decent quality opponents to the Farm for the first home fixture of pre-season.

And a bloody good game ensued.  Mozzer fired us in front early only for Chaz to drop a clanger and allow Adam Crane to float home a 40-yard free-kick a minute later.

Gav then lashed us back in front but two in five minutes before the break swung things back the way of the NCEL side.

Twanged it!

Early in the second half we got back on level terms thanks to Owen's opportunism but another rush-of-blood by our usually faultless keeper allowed the visitors to return to the South Bank with a win.

Result aside, we took a lot of positives from the game and in terms of revenue a gate of 70 was very heartening.  As was the cask in The Granby which accompanied some cracking Cornish pasties.

Sunday, 25th July - 
Community Fun Day (including 'Raggy Game'): 
Casuals Select XI 1 Hull City Ex-Tigers 3)

 Two sets of old gits reminisce about the good times

The morning after the Barton game found us all back at the Farm getting things sorted for the first Fun Day, organised by the Eastenders Development Group as this season's main fundraising event of the summer.

It always promised to be something of a hit-and-miss affair as very few of us had been involved in anything similar before (and those who had by way of the once-legendary village Gala are scarred for life!).

Initial signs weren't good.  How many men does it take to put a gazebo up?!  But eventually things got underway, people turned up, the sun shone and fun was had...though not by perhaps as many as we'd hoped and not for as long as we'd hoped.

"Right lads, tactics: spread out and enjoy yourselves!"

Centrepiece of the day was the 'Raggy Game' - the fixture played in memory of former East Ender Mike "Raggy" Hudson who died tragically young back in 1997.  On nine occasions since the event, "Raggy" has been remembered in an annual fixture, originally played between members of his Saturday club (us) and his former Sunday side (Holderness Casuals) and, latterly, between Past v Present Casuals.  Unfortunately, in the last two years the fixture has not taken place.

So following the Ex-Tigers' successful visit to the Farm last summer, some bright spark (!) had the idea that perhaps the former City stars could be persuaded to partake in the Raggy game on an annual basis.  Secretary Dave Bond answered in the affirmative and - despite the last minute disappointment of losing Dean Windass to the Sky Masters tournament - Peter Skipper and co arrived on the Low Farm turf ready for action.

A legendary Skipper

The Casuals Select XI (or 15 to be precise) were all aged over 30 with the exception of Dane Hagan, the 16-yr-old nephew of the late Mike and a new signing for the club this term.

In goal was Steve Eldon, playing his first game since having vowed "Never again" after conceding fourteen at Heslington in last season's ER County Cup!  He was probably thinking, "Why did I agree to this?" when beaten twice inside the opening seven minutes.  And when the Ex-Tigers netted a third on 21mins, a rout seemed on the cards.

"I said I'd never put mesen through this again"

Thankfully, the locals - some of whom had only met for the first time in several years in the moments prior to kick-off - rallied and with Eldon in tremendous form behind them, embarrassment was averted. Indeed a stonking 25-yarder from Craig Foster even ended things on a high.

With the new trophy presented by Mike's sister Gail to City's Adam Lowthorpe, everyone was free to retire to the bar while other events proceeded to take centre-stage.  And by the time a plague of greenflies brought things to a halt around 4pm, most kids had enjoyed  plenty of exercise, while most mums and dads had had ample chance to satisfy their tastes - be it beer or BBQ.

The who day brought in about £550 for the Club and £260 for East End Cancer Relief.  Next year will be bigger...and better.  We promise.

Saturday, 31st July - Friendly v Hornsea Town 
(home)  Lost 3-4

Not a game I'll remember too fondly, due mainly to it being my recommendations to Mack to "try a few things out" in the last 20mins that ultimately saw a 3-0 lead turned into a 3-4 loss.  I'll stick to the paperwork in future!

The result notwithstanding this was another enjoyable affair and another highly competitive game.

For an hour we were irrepressible.  The returning Stumo headed us into a 3rd minute lead and young find of pre-season, Sam Mac, looked to have made it two a couple of minutes later only to be denied by the linesman.

One-Nil

So nearly two!

Hornsea were typically fit, fast and athletic but didn't cause too many problems early on and we were good value for the lead at the break.
Mack switched both strikers at the break and was rewarded when Gav linked with Tom Mac who swept home.
Three up and, if not coasting, comfortable enough if this was a league game I'm certain we'd have seen it out.  But it wasn't so we didn't.  A tinker here, another there and suddenly it was 3-2.  Then, in the 90th, we fail to defend a corner.  All square.  A minute later, free-kick, bundled in at the second attempt, 3-4.  FFS!
Even the cask in Granby was off.

Monday, 9th August - Friendly v ERCFA Juniors 

(home) Won 2-0

And so pre-season came to an end with the annual visit of the East Riding County FA's Juniors Rep squad.  Some of the best Under-18s in the area, which this year included our very own Karl Fitzgerald.

As always the game proved open and entertaining with a goal in each half settling it in our favour; Farny showing strength on the first and then playing sub Stumo for a cool finish in the second half.

A crowd of nearly a hundred helped make the evening an even bigger success and the night was capped off with a fine pint of Pricky Back Otchan in The Granby.

Respect your elders!

Of course pre-season isn't only about the First Team and the Stiffs and Casuals have both begun their preparations.  I'll bring you up to speed with that in due course.  But for now, Bulwell awaits...

Many thanks to Colin Brammer, Burt Graham, Dom Taylor and Dave Longhorn for the photographs used in this pieces 

Deano's Date At The Farm?

The appearance of a Tigers legend is the highlight of a busy pre-season...

Deano delighted at being selected for the Casuals game

Two weeks into pre-season and things would appear to be shaping up nicely.  There's been a decent turnout at training, with this week's beach session proving particuarly popular!
In addition there has been plenty of chat on Facebook suggesting that many lads are also getting a bit of extra work in-between to ensure they hit the ground running. 
Amusingly (but not surprisingly) there are certain players who have so far failed to make any training session.  No doubt the usual excuses will be trotted out...to be followed by the similarly usual mutterings of complaint when they're not selected for the opening games!  Ah, the joys of grassroots football.

Our build-up to the new season has been given added impetus with the news that Hull City legend Dean Windass is "99% certain" to be in the Ex-Tigers ranks when they face a Casuals Select XI at the forthcoming Community Fun Day on Sunday 25th July.

Before worrying just what "Deano" might do to the poor sod asked to mark him (!) the initial reaction to his impending arrival is one of sheer delight.  With all due respect to his team-mates (some of whom were my heroes during my regular Tiger-trekking days of the 80s & 90s) none quite has the pulling power of the man who scored the goal that propelled his home-town team into the top flight of English football for the first time in their history on that never-to-be-forgotten day in May 2008.

The sweetest strike I've ever witnessed!

In addition to the Fun Day, I've just about managed to complete the pre-season schedule for all three teams.

The senior squad begin on Saturday week (17th July) with a trip to Hamilton Panthers.  This is a reciprocal arrangement for the York League side's visit to us last year and will allow me to be reacquainted with The Ainsty pub where last year, following our pre-season draw at Poppleton, I settled down to enjoy Hull KR's tea-time Derby win while quaffing several pints of excellent ale. 
We follow the York trip with three successive home games.  On 24th July we entertain NCEL side Barton Town Old Boys (2pm) followed a week later by the visit of Pontefract Amateurs (3pm).  Our final visitors are the East Riding County FA Juniors Rep side, provisionally set for Monday 9th August at 6.30pm.

Those players not selected for the above games will get chance to have a run in the AnXI squads selected by Kev Appleyard and Iain McNaught for games at home to Thorngumbald Trinity (21st July), St Andrews FC (29th July) and Roos (still TBC).

All of which should bring us to Saturday, 14th August when the serious stuff begins...