Cave In

Saturday 9th November
East Riding County FA Senior Cup R2
North Cave 2 Easington United 2
(At 90mins Cave won 4-1 on pens)

Once again our interest in the various East Riding County FA Cup competitions is over by the second round stage.

The second weekend in November is the traditional time for us to remember those who have made the ultimate sacrifice in the service of their country.  In recent years it has also become the weekend in which we lament the end of our County cup hopes for another year!

Following the Reserves’ first round exit from the Senior Country Cup and last week’s defeat for the Casuals in the Qualifying version, the First Team made its by now customary exit against Humber Premier League opponents in the Senior competition.

And so yet again there’ll be no appearance for us on BBC Radio Humberside’s live quarter final draw.

But there should have been.  For despite travelling to Church Street with another depleted squad, sitting just a point clear of the bottom following our worst league result in recent times and facing a team riding high in their respective Step 7 competition, we should really be celebrating a place in the last eight for the first time since 2008.

Anybody actually at the game (and I acknowledge that this figure doesn’t stretch much beyond the players and management of both teams) may wonder how I come to this conclusion given the amount of possession and shots on target enjoyed by our hosts.

It is because with less than ten minutes left we were sitting as comfortably as one can when you’re holding a one goal lead and seeing little of the ball.

For all their possession and territorial advantage, Cave appeared to have virtually run out of ideas.  They were reduced to shots from all range and angles, few of which appeared to seriously trouble Mad John between the sticks.

Manager Sumo had used his depleted bench prudently, taking off veterans Gav and Wilky and tweaking the shape to accommodate Smalls and new boy Wicksy, and we appeared on course to close things out.  Then Cave equalised.  But I’m getting ahead of myself... 

Perhaps not presenting Church Street in quite its best light?

I have always liked North Cave as a venue – and this despite us having a pretty poor record there in all the time I’ve been involved with Easington. 

Admittedly, it’s a ground I hadn’t been too for many years prior to Saturday’s visit.  Our last game there at First Team level was back in October 2000, during the inaugural season of the Humber Premier League.

We’d arrived at Church Street winless after five games but proceeded to break our duck with a particularly gutsy 4-2 success.  Our goals were scored by Glenn Ratcliffe (2), Kenny Knott and Gavin Thurkettle, three residents of Patrington Haven – a fact I remember due to my use of the headline “First win is Haven sent” in that Thursday’s Gazette.  Eh, there’s a lot of thought goes into this sports reporting malarkey y’know!

Despite winning the inaugural League Cup, Cave resigned from the HPL at the end of that first season and were forced to make something of a circuitous route back in.  Benefitting from the demise of a team at nearby Brough, the current Cave team began as the Reserves string playing in the County League.

Returning to the HPL in Division 1 a few years later, the club eventually gained promotion to the Premier Division in 2010/11, as runners-up to Beverley side Hodgsons.

The following season they finished fourth in the top flight and after a seventh place last season look on course for another decent campaign this time round.  Despite an eye-catching 0-5 home defeat by Hedon Rangers the previous weekend, they currently occupy a top three position, behind evergreen heavyweights Reckitts and reigning champions Beverley Town. 

To be saved for later...or so I thought

When re-entering the ground over a decade on from that last visit, I was quite amused to see that the only change would appear to be the situating of a couple of dugouts.  So much for year-on-year progress as set out at the original meeting back in July 2000.

On the plus side, the ground boasts a very tidy clubhouse inside which can be found Sky TV (the Reading v QPR match was on live as we arrived).  Of more immediate interest to me was the sight of a hand-pump bearing the pin for Great Newsome Pricky Back Otchan.  Oh yes, that’ll do nicely for later thought I... 

All the times I recall playing against North Cave teams our opponents wore red.  Not anymore.  As they went through their pre-match routine within yards of the clubhouse it was in a rather natty all-orange affair.  According to the lad who seemed to be in charge of the bar, it was bought last season and he agreed it was a break with tradition.

“About time we broke with tradition too”, said Burt-on-Bus whilst admiring QPR’s bottle and gold affair.  “Summat like that would be nice”.

“Shut up you idiot” was my reply.

I was disappointed to hear that Cave no longer attract the crowds they used to.  Similar to us it would appear numbers have dwindled in tandem with the loss of local players, despite the quality of football improving. 

“There’s only three or four lads live in Cave now.  We’ve even had to move the training to South Hunsley”, our barman informed us.

I told him that was similar to us in terms of pulling players in from far and wide; and he wouldn’t believe me if I tried to explain the situation with our training at the moment! 

Lest We Forget

Both teams lined up pre-match to observe a minute’s silence.  It was impeccably observed save for the sound of a ball being kicked against a wooden hut near the pavilion by a youngster with his back to what was going on.

It reminded me of other unfortunate ‘silence breakers’ – like the ice cream van at Hessle Rangers on the corresponding afternoon last year or Pistol Pete whistling away to his heart’s content when stepping out of the tea hut at South Normanton a few years back – blissfully unaware that just a few yards away two teams, match officials and both sets of management and supporters were stood in silent memory of a player tragically killed in a recent road accident.  Ooh, it took him a while to live that one down! 

Wilky Woo!

At kick-off there were barely twenty spectators lining the near roped-off touchline, almost half of whom were supporting the Eastenders.

Initially it looked like we could be in for a long afternoon as the hosts, obviously chastened by their last result, started like men on a mission.

Crisp passing and good movement immediately opened us up and Chris Short struck the bar inside the first two minutes.

A goal looked on the cards and arrived on quarter of an hour; another decent move being capped by Ozzie Marsden’s low shot into the corner.

Thankfully we didn’t crumble and we enjoyed a decent spell of possession.  This in turn yielded a few corners and the odd half-chance, one of which Tom Mac headed powerfully but unfortunately straight at keeper Matt Johnson.

The unfortunate Johnson was then to take centre-stage.

First he made an awful hash of dealing with a backpass, which allowed Wilky to level with the simplest of goals.

The Cave keeper was then left floundering at his near post as JC’s thumping right foot strike took him totally by surprise.  Nearly half the game gone and we led 2-1.

The hosts threatened to level matters by the break.  Marsden headed over the top, while Short’s attempts to cap another flowing Cave move were thwarted by fine reactions from Mad John.  Half-time arrived with us having one foot in the quarter-finals...

JC celebrates what should've been the winner

Tempted as I was to sample the aforementioned Pricky Back Otchan during the break, I opted for a hot cuppa instead and settled down to watch some of the England v Fiji rugby league world cup encounter from the KC while, just a few yards away, Sumo and AG were no doubt urging their players to get tighter to their opponents in order to secure a morale-boosting win.

And this they did to some extent.  Although it was the hosts who made all the running, our back four coped admirably most of what came their way.  Meanwhile, we had numerous chances to make things happen on the counter – leaving most of us thinking what could have happened had the speedy Sam Huteson not been a morning withdrawal.

All around me the news was bad.  The Stiffs were losing at home to Wawne in the County Premier.  City had shipped three inside the opening half-hour at St Mary’s.  But at Church Street we continued to hold out.

With just eight minutes remaining we forced a throw-in up near the right corner flag in the Cave half of the field.  I distinctly remember shouting out for someone, anyone to squeeze up as the hosts were allowed to take it unopposed.

Within seconds the ball was launched upfield.  For almost the first time that afternoon Sam Mac was beaten to it and moments later sub Tom Moss had lifted the ball over John and into the net; 2-2.

I think we all knew then what the outcome of today was going to be.

A couple of promising positions came to nought in the dying moments and at the final whistle referee Chris Hitchcock called both captains to him to announce that due to the poor light the tie would be determined by penalties.  The feeling of foreboding went up another notch.

Up stepped Short, a standout player all game, and although John went the right way it was 1-0.

Willow strode forward and calmly tied things up.  Never doubted.

Damen McMahon emphatically restored the hosts’ lead before Biggy Smalls emphatically lifted his effort over the bar.  Advantage North Cave.

It was 3-1 thanks to Aaron Malton and when Johnson guessed correctly to deny Stef the hosts were nearly there.

No.16 Jason Crisp applied the coup de grace with the by now obligatory “Pirlo pen” and our County interest was at an end.

As I trudged back to the clubhouse I assured myself that solace would be found in a pint of Pricky Back.  The guy in front of me at the bar had the same idea...

“Sorry, we’ve none left.  We had a run on it on Bonfire Night”

It summed up the day – and our fortunes in the County cups perfectly: all gone!   

Match report and Burt’s pictures can be found here and on our Facebook page.

A belated Halloween Horror Story

Saturday 2nd November
ER County League Premier Division
Easington Utd Reserves 0 Walkington 4

The Slush Family attended a little soiree last Saturday night, organised as part of the current trend for celebrating ‘All Hallows Eve’. 
Perhaps not surprisingly, I'd only "entered into the spirit (apt!) of things" under protest.  To Mrs Slush & the Slushettes my dislike of Halloween simply reinforced my status at home as “Chief Misery Guts”.  
It's that time of year when I really come into my own in this regard.  There's Hull Fair (“a waste of money; full of chavs”), the half-term School Disco (“you can go with your mum can’t you?  Anyway, football’s on telly...”) and of course there's Trick or Treat (“it’s glorified begging...and don’t expect me to answer the door here neither!”).  Refusing to partake of any of these all adds to the “Grumpy” image I positively revel in.  As Mrs Slush is keen to point out - the spirit of Scrooge lives on all year round in our house.
Thankfully, I found myself not alone in my discomfort and found a particularly willing fellow anti-Halloween dissenter in my sometime drinking partner Fuller.
Aside from an age-old rivalry on the local football front, Fuller and I tend to agree on many things, including a love of real ale and as we sat there, resplendent in our horror-themed fancy dress (I know, I know...), supping pints of “Sleck Dust” from award-winning local Great NewsomeBrewery, we came to the conclusion that only one source was to blame.

“More bloody Americanisation”, we agreed.

Similar to the way the indigenous red squirrel has been all but done for by its American grey cousin, another British institution is under threat as the craze to do all manner of things with pumpkins now threatens to completely eclipse Bonfire Night.  
At this rate we'll be relegating Christmas in favour of Thanksgiving next...   

This year's Halloween number

Perhaps my dislike of Halloween is because I used up my taste for all things ghoulish during the countless nights I spent at Hull’s legendary Spiders nightclub during the Eighties.  A late-night haven mainly for Goths, post-punks and sub-cults of all forms (and with a soundtrack to die for) it was a dark, brooding but, all the same, very enjoyable place.  And you can forget Halloween fancy dress – in Spiders there really WERE some sights to send shivers down your spine! 

My “Spiders Years” coincided with a penchant for 1950's schlock horror flicks (“Attack of the 50ft Woman” or “I Was A Teenage Werewolf” anyone?) and a love of bands like The Meteors and The Cramps that first brought vampires, werewolves, human flies and even goo-goo muck cascading into my life. So as you see, I’m almost Halloween’d out!

My costume was better than that!

At any rate the real horrors for me this Halloween occurred on the football field and not on 31st October.  And I’m not talking about Kyle Walker’s “challenge” on Stephen Quinn during Hull City’s heartbreaking penalty defeat in their League Cup tie at Spurs.  Nor am I referring to the "joke" penalty that had decided the league game between the two teams the previous Sunday; nor the “Gareth Barry Show” in the 2-1 defeat at Everton a week earlier.  All of which reminded me just why I got so exasperated by the Premier League last time the Tigers were in it. 

No, outdoing even these moments in terms of sending shock-waves through my system was the phone conversation with First Team boss Sumo at ten to four last Saturday afternoon, during which he informed me of a one nil defeat at the hands of bottom club Welbeck Welfare.  A real seasonal low point if ever there was one.

A sort of Theatre Of Dreams

Thankfully, the lack of minibus and the aforementioned commitment to a Halloween/Fireworks party had prevented me making the trip to Meden Vale's own Horror Show.

Not that my afternoon at Low Farm had proved much more uplifting.  
Although there was plenty of heart on show in the Reserves’ display against a Walkington side that again included Hull City Wembley hero Dean Windass, a resounding 4-0 defeat ensured the Stiffs would spend the week at the foot of the Premier Division. 

Meanwhile, across the ditch, the Casuals were given a doing by holders Barmby Moor in the second round of the East Riding Qualifying Cup.  Manager DC wore a look of complete despondency in The Granby afterwards.

Horror tackle? No but Willo's in the pink!

The tracksuit had come out of retirement that afternoon as I took on the role of assistant to temporary manager John Clarke for the aforementioned Stiffs v Walkington match.  This was due to injury and a pre-arranged date with The Pigeon Detectives in Leeds ensuring caretaker-boss Foz’s absence.  For once the afternoon began with a little bit of optimism as we actually lined up with subs – two of them.  However, by half-time this option had been halved thanks to injury across the ditch to a Casuals side reduced to eleven men by yet another no-show this season.  The lack of commitment among today’s youth is really, really depressing but I’ll perhaps rant about that another time...

Twister!

With hindsight, the decision to let Steve Jam hop across the ditch to replace the injured Pat was a mistake.  The Casuals were already five down by the break and their cup hopes were going the same way as countless Guy Fawkes effigies.  And we could have done with another option off the bench.

Having fallen a goal behind after just two minutes – Lewis Palin (son of Walkington boss and former Tigers favourite Leigh) being allowed the freedom of the Farm to slot past Pagey – we’d hit back well up to the break.

With veteran duo Stivvy and Stu asserting some control at the back, Wicksy orchestrating things from midfield and makeshift front pair Shane and Willo working their socks off, we managed to put Walkington on the back foot.  Unfortunately the one chance that mattered wouldn’t come. 

I was a teenage Windass

For his part Mr Windass mixed patches of quality - ghosting in and out of positions – with a less desirable approach to officialdom.  Not only did the referee feel the wrath of the maestro’s tongue several times without doing anything about it, rather more shamefully so did Jam’s dad, acting in the purely voluntary capacity of linesman.  What made it worse was that the decision that had aroused Deano’s ire had been a perfectly correct one.  Once more, though, the referee failed to take action in protection of his “assistant”.

Thankfully, as the heavens opened and the wind picked up considerably, the second half saw Deano let his feet do the talking and he doubled Walkington’s lead just 10 mins in.  It must be added that the deteriorating weather conditions played a part – his right foot clipped finish seemingly heading for Kilnsea before veering round and over Pagey.

The wet surface then played a part as sub Bogdan’s finish zipped off it and under Page for 3-0.

Stumo’s misplaced pass then gifted the same player a second to complete the scoring.

Heads we lose

Not that we went down without a fight.  Shane rattled the bar with one stonker from 30 yards and nobody threw the towel in.  Unfortunately, with Brett replacing the knackered Pash early on and then both Stu and Luke succumbing to various ailments, we looked a pretty dispirited bunch by the end.

It was glorious sunshine as I helped carry out the usual post-match duties, although it tended to be overshadowed by the dark cloud formed in the form of that news from Welbeck.  Even a very nice pint of Great Newsome’s 'Autumn Bounty' in The Granby couldn’t quite erase the taste. 

Still, I had a Halloween Party to go to to take my mind off things - and some films to watch when I got home...   

Harworth Five-O

Saturday 26th October

Central Midlands League North Division

Harworth Colliery 2 Easington United 0

Big Craig doesn’t normally do away games, preferring to remain at Low Farm with his weighbridge and camera capturing the best of the County League action.

However, today there was none – both the Reserves and Casuals were also on the road.

So, what better way to prepare for your own “surprise” 50th birthday bash later that night than bag a seat with the manager in Le Sumo Limousine and head for Harworth?  Well, aside from clambering aboard the Pistol Pete Express, I would suggest there is none! 

Talking of being fifty, I’m glad to say I still have a few years left before I get there (although I’m already on with planning the celebrations, which currently involves a week touring the real ale hostelries of the Dales & Moors - I'll keep you all posted). 

However, I was made to feel all my forty-something years when discussing the relative merits of various iPhone options with a young salesman in Hull last Sunday.

In trying to show me the benefits of Deezer (which apparently is a music on demand service now provided free with iPhones for Orange) the aforementioned salesman asked me to name an artist.

“Be careful, don’t embarrass yourself”, said Mrs Slush.

As if.  “New Order”, I offered.

His face said it all.  “New.  Order.  Is that two words?”  I couldn’t believe my ears.

He typed it into Deezer.  “Hmm, ‘Blue Monday’, is that a track by the New Order you mean?”

Mrs Slush checked me before I exploded.  “A track by the New Order you mean?” Only the biggest selling 12-inch single of all time you fucking fuckwit fucker!”

“Yes” I replied. 

Mrs Slush was still laughing as we left the store.  We both were, even more so when I said, “Imagine if it had been you wanting the phone.  What would he have found for ‘Aqua’?”

 

New who?

To think we’re nearly into November yet this was the Pistol’s first trip of the season behind the wheel.  He was keen to make up for lost time – by the time we left Hull bound for north Nottinghamshire, we’d already had tales of his first initiation to the art of masturbation (obviously many moons ago), played slalom with a pillar-box along Hedon Road and almost ram-raided a drive-thru McDonalds in his desperation to find a toilet. 

Oh yes, The Pistol had hit the ground running...

We travelled in remarkably high spirits given the fact Thoresby’s 2-0 win over us the previous week had sent us back into the bottom two, today’s opponents Harworth sat fourth in the table and we had a growing absence list.

Huteson, Westoby and Wilson were all missing, while Frosty’s reported return to HPL side Crown had certainly ruffled feathers. 

Returning to the ranks were last week’s "absent friends" Jammer and Lew, along with Bezza who was over his previous week’s bug.  Tom Mac’s return to the first team fold ensured we would have 13 boys in maroon at Scrooby, one of whom - "Running Man" JC - was in line for his 150th First Team appearance, so there! 

They’d given the ground a lick of paint since our last visit.  If memory serves me this was done ahead of the recent visit of Evo-stik League side Frickley in the Sheffield & Hallamshire Senior Cup, a game the visitors edged by a solitary strike.

Harworth had also been beaten the previous weekend, 3-2 at Brodsworth, a result that had left manager Brendan Wilson questioning his players’ attitude in today’s match programme.  Hmm, might be interesting should we score early, thought I...

Rob Waite, aka ‘Davy Lamp’ from the excellent “66 POW” blog, was one of the first people I bumped into, team sheet completion being just one of countless tasks this very likeable character carries out on match day at Harworth. 
Always good for an anecdote or two, spending a game in Rob’s company can make the worst result almost bearable and was another reason why the controversy of our game here last season was even more, er, awkward for me.

 

Where's Brim when you need him?

Just prior to kick-off, as the referee's assistant was ensuring Brim Biglin's Harworth equivalent would have to sort his nets out, I received a text from Reserves manager Fozzy to tell me that a Stumo Campbell goal had them tying 1-1 in the Premier Division basement battle at Sculcoates.  There was no update from the Casuals’ game in Cottingham – never a good sign.

Harworth had instigated a “kids go free” offer for today’s game (partly to stop them clambering over the fence for free anyway, as Rob later acknowledged).  Looking around the ground in the minutes leading up to kick-off I couldn’t see any noticeable uptake – indeed it was later confirmed as five having done so, out of an overall attendance of 33.  Still, the club can’t be knocked for trying.

In addition to The Pistol and Burt-on-Bus, I was joined in the ‘away section’ by the aforementioned Big Craig and our manager’s daughter ‘Katie McLicious’.  With keeper Mad John having his own personal band of supporters (well, there were two of them) in attendance and Mrs Wilks & family there to encourage Paul, we were fairly well represented on a dull but thankfully dry autumn afternoon.

And Graham must score...

And we began brightly.  Although Mad John was called upon to produce one early save, we were giving as good as we got and forced a succession of corners.  From one of these, AG looked well-placed to justify the big build-up I’d given him...but headed over.

Gav then went through on goal, the defender grabbed his arm, Gav stayed on his feet and got the shot away.  The keeper saved.  Corner.  Sometimes, just sometimes, it’s worth going down.

Back came Harworth and Mad John was twice called upon in quick succession, one save in particular being excellent.  We appeared to have weathered the storm.  Then Harworth scored.

Frustratingly it came from a throw-in to us, awarded well inside the home half.  Unfortunately the throw found one orange shirt who swept it upfield to another – tricky youngster Tomlinson – whose cross was dispatched expertly by striker Tom Walker.

Sumo’s mood was dark and would have been darker had Mad John not come to the rescue again before the break.  We retired to the Hospitality area in Tom’s Tea Room relieved to be only one down.

 

All eyes on you John

Over tea and biscuits I received news of another Casuals defeat, 3-1 at Cottingham Rangers, while Burt & Craig discussed buses in Malta.  I jest ye not.  It was a relief to get back out for the second half!

After an entertaining first 45 minutes the second period proved somewhat disappointing.  Mad John produced two excellent stops in quick succession at the start of it, before the game became bogged down into a scrappy, niggling affair on a pitch that was proving difficult for both sides.

As with the first half we had our moments and sub Lew came close to levelling matters with a 20-yard free-kick that pinged against the home bar.

Having seen the games against Clay Cross and Phoenix, I was well aware of the most likely finish to this one.  And so it was; increasingly desperate attempts to make something happen resulting in the careless loss of possession, which allowed Sam West to set up sub Ollie Chappell for the killer second goal.

The final few minutes witnessed a Sumo outburst that had Big Craig giving Katie McLicious a look that said, “Could be an entertaining ride home!”

 

One Eastender with something to celebrate - JC's 150th

Thankfully the immediate post-match mood was positive enough and the lads were in good form by the time we’d retired to the bar.  Indeed their mood was noticeably more jovial than that of the Potter serving the food – his frown would give ‘Appy Barry a run for his money!

With beers procured from the nearby Asda, we were soon on the way home and already turning our thoughts to Saturday’s trip to Welbeck.  However, I had more pressing matters to attend to – like being one of those cramming into Easington village phone box, I mean, The Granby, to help the aforementioned Big Craig celebrate his impending Big Five-O. 

They didn't play any New Order on Saturday night but I will rectify that error now, just for Andy at phones4u.  I've purposely eschewed 'Blue Monday' in favour of this little gem...

 

Photos courtesy of 'The 66 POW' (Rob Waite) and Burt Graham.
Official match report can be read here.
Harworth match report (via 'The 66 POW' blog) can be read here.

Back on the Blog

Saturday 12th October

ER County League Premier Division

Easington Utd Reserves 0 Bridlington Town Reserves 3 

Saturday 19th October

Central Midlands League North Division

Easington Utd 0 Thoresby Colliery Welfare 2 

'Tis October, the month of Hull Fair and Halloween; of misty mornings, murky afternoons and of evenings that are often best spent sampling seasonal nutty ales around an old log fire.  And it’s a month in which Easington United tend to lose football matches.  Regularly.

Of course there is always the hope that we will buck the trend.  But this usually lasts barely a week.

Unfortunately, none of our teams can afford another ‘Black October’, especially the focus of my attention this particular Saturday – the Reserves.  They approached the month in miserable form; summer having seen the departure of the manager and key personnel from the squad that had gained promotion last season, September then bringing defeats in both opening league games at Beverley and Holme.

In addition, a first round defeat at Driffield Rangers had ensured there would be no repeat of last season’s run to the League Cup final.

When South Cave Sporting Club then ended interest in the County Cup at the first round stage a week later it became obvious that all efforts this season were now to be thrown into battling against relegation.

Still I’m ever the optimist (well, I try to be!) and as the Elder Slushette and I headed for ‘The Farm’ on a suitably damp Saturday afternoon, there was genuine hope that today might just witness a change in fortune. 

This feel-good factor wasn’t just the result of watching Andros Townsend and his England team-mates put Montenegro to the sword the previous night. Oh no, there were far more relevant reasons for my buoyancy...
For a start the Stiffs were playing their first “proper” home game of the season, on the main pitch and with the Tea Hut open!

Secondly, a lack of First Team fixture actually meant caretaker-boss Foz had some extra quality available in terms of personnel.

And thirdly, although having won two on the bounce ahead of their trip to the Humber Riviera, opponents Bridlington Town Reserves were not setting the top flight on fire. Indeed, the Seasiders were exactly the sort of side that we should be confident of beating if Premier Division survival is to become an expectation rather than a hope.

So there you have it.  All set up for the first 3pts of the season...

 

Low Farm – although always a thing of rustic beauty in this beholder’s eyes – doesn’t look quite so aesthetic on a drizzle-filled autumn afternoon.  This impression is further reinforced when, as today, the generator decides to play up leaving the changing room lights resembling a disco but without the sounds.

Unsurprisingly, the vast majority of a respectable-sized crowd numbering nearly twenty opted to take in the action from the shelter of the “Farm Shed”, or “North West Ryvita Stand” to give it its adopted name (don’t ask – I’m sure I’ve explained why somewhere in a previous blog!).  Among their number was First Team manager ‘Sumo’, in attendance not only to partake of some of the typically dry humour always on offer but also to cast an eye over any potential hopefuls.

For most of the first half he’d have been fairly impressed.  By and large the locals enjoyed the better of things, with the Town keeper easier the busier of the two.

That said, the visitors appeared to be getting too much freedom down the flanks, particularly the left, and only a couple of poor finishes ensured the score remained blank as long as it did.

The breakthrough came towards half-time and emanated from a defensive lapse that allowed Josh Chrislow to stride through and take the ball round Pagey before slotting into an unguarded net. 

 

 

I spent half-time (and indeed much of the second half) putting the world of local football to rights with Patrington-based referee Sprucey and ex-Withernsea AFC stalwart Neil Stivvy.  The usual subjects were trotted out – poor attitudes, lack of commitment, unwillingness to learn – which, in short, all add up to the following conclusion: “it weren’t like that in our day!”

As we vented our frustrations on the sidelines, those being felt by the Stiffs on the pitch were increased by near misses at one end – Gav’s shot being blocked by the last defender; sub Shane striking the post – and clinical Bridlington finishing at the other.

An unseemly bout of handbags brought proceedings to a scruffy end and – apparently – helped convince our visitors that retiring to The Granby would be an unwise move.  I found this particularly disappointing and took to Twitter to tell them so...well, it made me feel better if nothing else!

As it was, I can only report to the absent Seasiders that you missed some particularly tasty sausage rolls and a lovely pint of Old Golden Hen (available alongside the landlord’s usually reliable Tetley Cask). 

 

It rained that night.  It continued raining well into Sunday morning, which had a profound effect on one of the traditional highlights of the local calendar – the Welwick Heritage weekend. 

Usually the Sunday morning sees a large stretch of the Moat Farm grassland turned into a car boot sale.  Not this year.  Indeed, not only was there no car boot sale, there were almost no vehicles at all as many of those who pitch up for an extended break decided to return home early before they became stuck on the increasingly wet field.

We timed our annual visit just right – some rare (for this October) sunshine accompanying our walk around the assorted stalls and displays celebrating the area’s rural past.

By the time I was enjoying a delicious pint of Timothy Taylor’s Landlord to accompany tea at The Crown & Anchor at Kilnsea (as much a fixture of our Welwick Heritage Weekend as the threshing machine) the tribulations of my local football team were temporarily no longer uppermost in my thoughts.

By Tuesday it was the national team taking centre-stage as England lined up against Poland needing just a win to qualify for next year’s World Cup Finals.  Now where have I seen that before?

The much talked about 1973 meeting was the first televised England game I can remember watching all the way through.  Thankfully, unlike on that occasion, Roy’s boys didn’t falter this time round and I could retire to bed to dream of a summer on the Copacabana...

 Autumn on the Humber Riviera may not quite conjure up quite the same images but, hey, given a bit of sunshine and the right soundtrack anything is possible.

Nowadays such a soundtrack in the Slush household would be an eclectic affair.  For example, in the past fortnight my choice of listening has ranged from a ‘50s jump-jive compilation and '80s indie-faves The Wedding Present through the '90s sounds of Saint Etienne, Gene and The Hacienda Club to a classic Northern Soul collection and Calvin Harris.  There, label that little lot if you will.

Of course at one time, the only bits of vinyl to be played on my decks would have been filed loosely under “Rock ‘n’ Roll”.  As a teenager caught up in the so-called Cat Movement of the early-Eighties I would have been mortified had someone told me that in future years I’d be listening to anything that didn’t have its origins in the American Deep South.

I was reminded of such times by the presence at Low Farm last Saturday of a certain Alan Franklin.

 

A resident of the village throughout his childhood and into his mid-20s, Al (or “Franks”) was well-known for his dedicated following of several musical fashions.

And as he stomped his way across the Low Farm car-park I could see by the flying jacket, checked shirt and turned-up denims that he was once again on a retro tip.

Renewing acquaintance with the aforementioned Mr Franklin may account for a less detailed than usual account of our home defeat by Thoresby Colliery Welfare in this our sixth successive Saturday at home.

Certainly, large parts of the second half seemed to simply form a backdrop to memories of those halcyon days of the early 1980s. 

 

Prior to this distraction I’d seen us enjoy the better of things in the first half only to be undone by goals from James Scothern and Tony Buchanan, the latter being one of the finest strikes you’ll see at Low Farm this or any other season.

At the start of the second period Dave Westoby passed up a great chance to pull one back, Gav hit the bar and Sam Huteson was forced out of the game by the latest poor challenge from Nathan Brown.  The Thoresby full-back received a long-overdue yellow card and was substituted shortly after when by rights he could have been off the field via different means, leaving us to go at 10 men for forty minutes.

It was now that my attention on the game came into conflict with revived memories of days gone by: of Friday nights watching bands like The Jets and The Blue Cats at The Goodfellowship Inn on Cottingham Road; of Saturday mornings spent trawling through the latest import releases at the legendary Sydney Scarborough in Hull city centre; of Saturday afternoons catching the train to and from Boothferry Park.

 

I’d last seen Al on a previous trip to Low Farm during our HPL days.  At the time he was involved with someone whose son was playing against us.  Now, once again single, he appears to have taken up where he left off all those years ago. 

I’d be lying if I didn’t say there was a touch of envy as I listened to his tales of seeing Ray Campi at the legendary Hemsby Rock ‘n’ Roll Weekender or even his attendance at Hull Soul Club’s monthly event at The Trades & Labour Club.  I smiled at the almost youthful exuberance that was evident in his recounting of such events – and I smiled because, despite the advancing years, I still can’t talk to Al without thinking he still bears an uncanny resemblance to Dave Bartram, lead singer of mock-Teddy Boy revivalists Showaddywaddy!

The aforementioned Mr Bartram may have proved a more effective front-man than the various ones employed by manager Sumo during the second half at Low Farm (see what I’ve done there). For despite plenty of possession and no lack of effort, aside from those chances at the start of the period, we rarely forged a decent opening during the whole of the second half – unless I missed them while reminiscing about all things rockabilly of course!

  
An official account of the Reserves v Bridlington Town Reserves game can be read here, while that of the First Team defeat by Thoresby can be found here.

Pictures from both games (courtesy of Craig Stephenson and Burt Graham) accompany both reports and/or can be found on our Easington United Facebook page.