Time waits for no man

Tuesday 6 April - Easington Utd Reserves 3 Withernsea Reserves 2
Saturday 10 April - Phoenix Sports & Social FC (home) Won 4-0
Easington Utd Reserves 2 Wawne Ferry 2
Tuesday 13 April - Hedon Rangers Reserves 1 Easington Utd Reserves 1
(Easington win 4-2 on penalties)

Goal for Farny at the Farm

Along with pre-season, April constitutes my busiest time of the football calendar. Even more so when we’ve had a winter like that just experienced, adding to the number of midweek games to be played. Then there’s the admin side of things...

On Monday night, along with the other three Committee members, I took part in the draw for the annual South Holderness Cup competition. The effects of the winter were noticeable here too, with four teams – AFC Preston, Aldbrough, Roos and Skirlaugh – all declining the invitation due to a combination of fixture backlog and injuries.
Thus just five clubs (and nine teams) were represented at the draw, which was made at The White Horse in Ottringham where a decent pint of cask Banks’s Bitter cost me a not so decent £2.80!
The draw has once again set our first team on course for a potential meeting with holders Hedon Rangers, while Withernsea will fancy their chances of reaching the final from the other half.
Tonight (Tuesday) it was back to the live action, with the Elder Slushette and me attending the Reserves’ latest match in their rather improbable-looking run in the ER County League’s President’s Cup competition, the H. E. Dean Cup.
It’s a standing joke at County League Management Committee meetings – usually cracked by me – that “we don’t do cups” at Easington; hence I rarely take notice of any dates beyond the first or second rounds of the three competitions our teams are entered into. That’s suddenly changed and Saturday 22 May is starting to figure as a potentially important date for reasons other than the club’s Annual Presentation Evening! But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Fozzy (right) playing in his 137th Easington-Withernsea clash. He's won 135 of them!

Having disposed of Div 3 opponents Patrington while I was on holiday the format (consisting of a regionalised draw, with ties played on consecutive Tuesdays through April) threw up a meeting with local rivals Withernsea in round two.

"'Ave it!"

Coming three days after the Casuals had dished out a league beating to the Seasiders’ own third-string the game attracted a decent crowd (61 h/c) to The Farm.

I later observed, via a couple of “social networking sites”, that I felt it had been the most one-sided 3-2 win I’d ever seen. One of these subsequently attracted 27 comments – the most feedback I’ve ever had!

Still, I stand by the view, albeit with the caveat that I got to the game about a quarter-of-an hour in and Withernsea had enjoyed the better of things up to this point.  Shortly after my arrival the visitor took the lead when Stew Guy was allowed to proceed from a position some five yards offside and finish stylishly over goalie Phil Page.

A goal against Withernsea

Another goal against Withernsea

Frosty brought the Stiffs level with a goal of real quality and quick-fire strikes from Torres and Stumo put us well in charge at the start of the second half.

"Don't Panic!"

But as chances continued to be created and missed – just after I’d observed rather too loudly that “we could get eight or nine here” – that feeling emerged that we might just pay for our profligacy.

A goal for Withernsea

Sure enough, Withernsea got a penalty for handball. Converted; 3-2, game back on! “This’ll go to penalties” I said, my earlier optimism having completely dissipated. Thankfully, it didn’t, and, despite plenty of effort, the visitors never really looked like levelling things up.

The Stiffs’ win set up a trip to Eastside Sports Ground, new name for the former Destiny Fitness Centre at Saltend (before that the BP Chemicals Sports Ground, and before that the DCL Sports Ground and going even further back has formed part of a race track, speedway track and aerodrome!). In recent years, it has been home to Hedon Rangers FC (along with Skirlaugh ARLFC and – for a short time – training base for Hull KR).

Before the cup clash the Reserves had title-chasing Wawne Ferry to contend with at the weekend. For the second year running the Hull outfit were asked to “slum it” across the Ditch due to our CML game with Phoenix taking precedence on the ground.

The Stiffs and Wawne "slum it" for a second successive season

The staggered kick-offs enabled me to venture across once the necessary formalities had been completed on the main pitch. In the twenty or so minutes I watched, we held our own with Wawne – perhaps not surprisingly – forcing the pace. But there was no end result and as half-time arrived with the teams goalless I ventured back over the Ditch, ready to see if we could claim a top five spot in the CML Premier.

"Was that you Chaz? It stinks man, even the ref's noticed!"

Back in October we’d earned a share of the spoils at Pavilion Lane thanks to Farny’s wonder-strike and Chav’s injury-time penalty. Today’s Phoenix side looked nothing like the one that had played that day as part of a one-defeat-in-fifteen-games start to the season.
Manager Daz Newson told me beforehand that his side had won through to the Final of the Rotherham Charity Cup on Thursday, after penalties, and as a result of their efforts six players had been unable to make the trip to Easington.

 

"I don't recognise any of this lot"

I’d already noticed that striker Mendy (“Sanko”) was absent (long-term injury apparently) while partner Matt Ellis is also currently sidelined. With only two games still to play, Newson admitted that his team’s priorities now lay elsewhere.

Size matters?

Not so us. With the proposed reorganisation still awaiting ratification by the FA, promotion to the Supreme Division is still officially up for grabs. And Manager Mack wants it.

Thommo goes down...penalty...one-nil

After a sluggish start the result was rarely in doubt once Chav had maintained his excellent record from the spot in the 19th minute, following a foul on Thommo six yards out that on another day would surely have seen a red card brandished.
By half-time the lead had been doubled, courtesy of Mozzer’s fine free-kick dispatched with aplomb from 20 yards.
Meanwhile, cheers from across the Ditch suggested that the Stiffs had overturned a Wawne goal early in the second half and were bound for what would be their best result of the season…only for a last gasp Ferry equaliser to thwart them.

"Where'd he come from?"

Back on the main arena and victory was assured early in the second half when the Phoenix defence remained statuesque as Farny stole in at another Moz set-piece. 

Four-Nil

Job's a good 'un

Then Man Mountain capped a fine individual display by poking home Farny’s pass in the final minute.
Refusing to allow the latest shambolic news from the KC Stadium spoil my day, a very enjoyable post-match session was enjoyed in the Neptune beer garden, courtesy of a couple of pints of Black Sheep and some convivial company.
Logging on to the CML site later that evening enhanced satisfaction at a job well done. It would now seem that a top three place is really there for the taking, following dropped points by Yorkshire Main, Dronfield and Parkhouse. But with four of the last five games away, it’s still a big ask.
Thankfully, thoughts of Saturday’s tricky long trip to Bulwell Town could be put to one side as attention tonight turned again to the Stiffs’ cup campaign.
In all its guises the Saltend venue has proved “lucky” for Easington teams (and here’s hoping that continues in view of the aforementioned SH Cup draw). However, for an hour or so tonight it looked anything but.

Could it be one of those nights?

Having fallen behind to a blatantly offside goal by former player Daz Thompson, similar to the Withernsea win the Stiffs proceeded to miss a raft of chances. Front pair Frosty and Foz probably passed up the most, with sub Pursey and centre-half Nige also culpable.
Ironically, when the equaliser came it was a touch fortunate – Frosty’s attempted cross dropping in at the back stick.
Even now we missed chances to win the game and so, as per competition rules, at the end of 90mins we went to pens.
My frustration at this was compounded by the fact I’d assured Mrs Slush that I would have our eldest daughter “back by eight”. That was no longer possible. Still, listening to her cheering as Frosty, Hodgy, Brettster and Nige all converted spot-kicks, not to mention those when Pagey made a fine save and the aforementioned Thommo struck his shot wide, made the impending bollocking on our return just about worth it.  Not sure I’ll be able to swing a trip to Long Riston for next week’s quarter-final though!  Perhaps in time...

It's Friday as I finish editing this particular post - the perfect day to listen to a bit of good ol' blue-eyed soul...

A Happy Easter

Saturday 3 April – Dronfield Town (away) Match postponed
Easington Utd Reserves 1 Sculcoates Amateurs Reserves 0
Easington Utd Casuals 3 Withernsea Thirds 1
Monday 5 April – Parkhouse FC (home) Won 2-0

During the last full day of our pre-Easter break at Butlins, I received a text from one of our players (Mozzer) telling me not to be surprised if Saturday’s game was called off, a delivery driver had informed him of snow at Dronfield. I put it down as an April Fools joke, although the leaden skies over Skegness all week had already got me wondering.

"Oh I Do Like To Be Beside The Seaside!"

It was only on arrival back home on Friday that I read of planned pitch inspections at our opponents’ Stonelow Road ground; one scheduled for 5pm, the other for early Saturday morning. It would be this second inspection that resulted in the postponement of the first part of our planned Easter Double-Header.

Whilst obviously frustrated and disappointed by the enforced alteration to my plans, consolation was to be found in the County League football on offer at the Farm.

And with one game being a relegation six-pointer and the other a tasty local derby, it didn’t sound like the worst way to spend a bright but breezy afternoon.

The Casuals work their revolutionary throw-in routine of actually finding a team-mate

Due to a slightly late kick-off on the main pitch, I ventured across the Ditch for the first quarter of the Casuals’ Division 5 game against Withernsea Thirds.

Both teams came into the match on the back of 9-1 hidings, with the Casuals’ performance at home to Gilberdyke having manager Maccer for once refusing to find any positives in his weekly match report.

Suitably chastened by the experience and still smarting from defeat to their nearest neighbours back in September (not to mention some rather unflattering post-match observations from the Seasiders) our third-string began brightly.

This local derby packed 'em in at Low Farm

Indeed as I and the Elder Slushette crossed the bridge Withernsea had it all on to repel a couple of early Easington set-pieces.

However, soon after joining the larger-than-usual hardy following on the “Wather Works” side, The Seasiders began to force the pace, albeit without really testing Casuals keeper Langfield.

As both sides strove for the breakthrough, tempers rose and the odd feisty exchange ensued – that between “Passionate” Dan and ex-Casual Vinny O’Hara being particularly entertaining.

Lean on me, Ted Hankey!

Although there wasn’t the same edge as would have been present in a meeting of the two clubs’ first teams, it was still obvious that neither side would take defeat well.

Still goalless as we approached the half-hour I ventured back to the main pitch where a similar state of affairs existed between our Reserves and their counterparts from Sculcoates Amateurs.

Action from "Thommo's Corner" as it became known after Monday

The teams had met a week earlier at Hull & ER Sports Ground, with a patched-up Stiffs outfit delivering the first decisive blow in this double-header thanks to a 4-1 win. Today’s meeting was proving much tighter.

On enquiring what I’d missed I was being regaled with the tale of Stu Campbell’s audacious “40-yarder” that had hit the bar when Scully’s pinged the post themselves. That would have changed Kev Appleyard’s team talk somewhat had that gone in!

Not this time Stumo

Half-time on the main pitch prompted my return to the Casuals. My timing was perfect. Just as we crossed the Ditch for the third time Rich Clubley, a “bustling centre forrad” of the type they love in these parts (i.e. clumsy) went on a surging run that took him past three Withernsea defenders. He then unleashed a daisy-cutter from 20 yards that should have proved no problem for Seasiders keeper Moore. Unfortunately the newsagent’s son had left his legs ajar and through the ball went – to the delight of the “Wather Works” side.

It prompted memories of that famous cricketing anecdote involving the late, great Fred Trueman and Raman Subba Row as recalled on The Googlie: Fearsome fast bowler Trueman extracted an edge from the batsman, which went right between team-mate Subba Row's legs to the third man boundary. Fred didn't say a word. At the end of the over, Row ambled past Trueman and apologised sheepishly. "Sorry Fred. I should've kept my legs together". Trueman retorted in classic fashion "Not you, son. Your mother should've!"

'The Passionate One' hits the bar

Within minutes it’s 2-0, a throw from the right being helped on to t’other Clubley, Dave, who swivels and finishes neatly past the hapless Moore. Passionate Dan then rattles the bar with a header. The Casuals scent victory.

Withernsea aren’t happy. They don’t like losing to the “upstarts” from down the coast – even though they’ve pretty much had to get used to doing so in recent times…

Still goalless in the basement battle

Back to the main pitch where things were getting tight. Although having more possession after the break, we are struggling to make inroads through a solid Scully’s defence. That changes slightly when subs “Torres” and Thommo come on. Both create – and miss – chances before the visitors pass up a great opening of their own inside the last five minutes.
News from the other pitch where veteran Clarke has sealed a 3-1 win for the Casuals.  There’s nil-nil written all over this one here when Fozzy puts the ball down for a free-kick just inside his own half.

“How long ref?”

A minute is the reply.

The ball is launched high into the visitors box and finds its way left to where Stumo retrieves it, skips past a challenge and delivers a cross just begging to be met. It isn’t. The ball goes right where this time Browny is the collector. He delivers low across the six yard box and there to meet it this time is said Stumo. Can’t miss. Doesn’t. 1-0; cue pandemonium among the…well…half-dozen or so in The Farm Shed!

A minute or so of stoppage time later, the referee blows for time. The Stiffs are 6pts clear of their opponents at the foot of the table, albeit from two games more.

A couple of pints of Mann’s Chestnut Mild are sunk in celebration at The Granby before a pleasant Easter Sunday spent at the in-laws bridges the gap to the next live football.

Monday dawns wet and for a time gets wetter. I’m up to work for 7.30 to copy off fifty 12-page wrap-around “flyers” to accompany the programme printed ahead of the postponed fixture on 27 February. The photos have come out poorly but there’s no time to do anything about them now – this is when I hate quick turnarounds.

Thankfully by lunchtime the rain has stopped and clearer skies are approaching from the south-west. The game’s in no danger but it would be nice to have a decent afternoon in which to watch!

By time I get to the ground, just before 12.45pm, Parkhouse have already arrived and their squad have headed for the nearby White Horse “to kill time”. I’m tempted to ring the landlord Barry and offer them anything from the top shelf on club expenses!

The wind’s already picking up by two o’clock and as our players assemble I’m already fearing this could put a right downer on a mouth-watering fixture.

Parkhouse’s manager Paul Murtagh and secretary Nobby Clark are both very personable and we have a good chat about the state of the league and future direction of the CML. I also fit in a brief catch-up on events from The Stoop where Rovers are putting their derby day blues behind them and giving ‘Quins a right walloping.

A half-decent crowd is starting to assemble and before I know it it’s five to three.

"It's all in hand lads!" - a confident Skip has a grip of things

Parkhouse had arrived on the back of six straight wins, a run that had put them back in the title race – although they could afford no slip-ups. They had also thumped us 7-0 at their tidy Mill Lane home back in August, giving us enough incentive other than that of wanting to maintain our push for a top four place.

Relaxed - any more laid back they'd be horizontal!

"Did you ever play then liner?" "Oh ye-a-a-h, I was once on Leeds

United's books, 'fore I got into reffing like..."

With only long-term victim Lenny and the absent Hutch unavailable, Mack had a near-full squad to pick from. Beforehand he asked for them to prove once again how much they’ve learnt from their experiences in the CML and to go and prove another point. They did.

Get in there!

Only 4 minutes had elapsed when Moz picked up a ball on halfway, advanced and struck a swerving shot from 25 yards that completely deceived goalkeeper Gough.

"How the f___ did you get up that high Thommo?!"

The lead would be doubled by the break and again the hapless Gough proved the fall-guy. Receiving a backpass on the edge of his box his attempted clearance spooned up into the swirling wind and when it dropped Thommo got up highest to nod into the unguarded net.

Not for the first time this season we were indebted to Chaz for preservation of a two-goal cushion. Twice in the minutes leading up to half-time he denied Parkhouse top scorer Clay (netter of four in the August drubbing) with brilliant reflex stops.
 

Another quiet day for Chaz & his defenders!

The half-time talk among the visiting supporters at half-time concerned the wind’s adverse effect on the game. Among the home contingent the in-phrase was the need to “baton down the hatches” with Parkhouse set to have the wind in their favour second half.

The watching groundstaff admire a typical Farny "launch"

In the event a combination of disappointing approach play and finishing (Clay in particular passing up several more chances), excellent goalkeeping and solid defending ensured United saw the game through at 2-0.

The final whistle brought huge grins to the hosts, especially those who’d experienced the battering at Mill Lane. Revenge had tasted sweet. Meanwhile, for his non-stop efforts up top the scorer of our second goal not only received the man of the match award but a portion of the ground near the Car Park to be christened “Thommo’s Corner” by groundsman Dave Hodgson!

No-one there Chav!

To their credit Parkhouse were magnanimous in defeat, despite this setback almost certainly quashing their lingering title hopes – even before this weekend’s head-to-head with leaders Church Warsop.

A perfect scene for Easter...or any other time

A lovely pint of Black Sheep was enjoyed in The Neptune before we retired to The Granby for tea, where we were joined by the Rutters, Grahams and Biglins in a meeting of the “old skool”. And as I bade farewell to Inspector Frost on the box later that night I couldn’t help feeling this had been a pretty good Easter. And there was another Easington-Withernsea clash coming up the following night…

Thanks to Burt Graham and Dom Taylor for many of the photos used here

Five Past Nine

Saturday 27th March - Welbeck Welfare (home) Won 5-1

"That's why I should be starting" says Thommo (12, extreme left)

Billy Butlin opened his first holiday camp on “200 acres of a former turnip field” at Skegness on 11th April 1936.

Some seventy four years later the Slushters made their second trip in as many years to the Lincolnshire coast to sample four days of Butlins-style “Family Entertainment”, complete with Billy Bear, Bob the Builder, Fireman Sam, Thomas the Tank Engine and The Skyline Gang.

Result – two excited and exuberant young Slushettes, two knackered-out parents and a Blog that’s now way out-of-date.

Well what do you expect with a 3 year old at the wheel?

I had originally intended to sort out this account of our struggle against the bottom club before we set off southwards last Monday. I failed. I then intended doing it as a piece of late-night work on Friday but was too dejected following Hull KR’s derby defeat to come up with anything constructive.

Of course I could (and perhaps should) have been busy composing it whilst I was away…fat chance of that when either Splash World, Bob’s Builder’s Yard, the Funfair or the outstanding Coast restaurant were calling. When they weren’t I was usually to be found asleep!

So, to keep things short and sweet (and get us back up-to-date), suffice to say that following our hard-earned and perhaps slightly fortunate win over Thorne Colliery, we stumbled through a frustrating-at-times-but-eventually-comfortable win over a depleted Welbeck Welfare. A couple of results that meant we headed into a tough looking Easter schedule with hopes of a top four finish still intact…

We came into the Welbeck game on the back of the CML Special General Meeting’s vote on the future of the competition. Thankfully, unlike some other better-placed clubs, there was no sense of anti-climax among the players and/or feeling that their efforts thus far had been in vain. Far from it. Instead there was a steely resolve to ensure we finish as high as possible in order to claim that we’d earned promotion anyway.

Opponents Welbeck Welfare are enduring a disappointing season and headed to the East Yorkshire Coast in an already desperate-looking position at the bottom of the table. Their prospects were not helped when four of their number withdrew from the squad between Friday tea and Saturday morning, leaving them short-handed for the game.

The first inkling I had of this was when manager Colin Matthews said “Don’t laugh” as he handed me the team sheet. It had only nine names written on it.

No prizes for guessing where the third match ball is?!

Conversation ensued as to the reasons behind the depletion. It also broached the subject of what the future holds for the club, although much of what was said then has since been somewhat contradicted by Club Secretary Phil Crouch in answer to a thread on the CMFL Message Board.

"Eh don't look now Burt but I think they've only got nine?"

Whilst Welbeck’s problems are no real concern of anybody but Welbeck, it not only saddened me to hear their tale of woe but also left me frustrated as we’d sent two short-handed squads to fulfil that day’s County League fixtures in order to ensure we retained enough quality to beat a side that had taken a point off us before Christmas.

This shouldn't take long today...

The news also had a detrimental effect on the players. For despite stand-in manager Appleyard’s exhortations to forget the numbers and go out and do the job, you could sense the lads were already looking ahead to Dronfield.

Any thoughts of a procession of goals were erased early on when Hodgy fluffed his lines at the far post. And from that moment on, as the home side stuttered the visitors grew in confidence.

Natives - restless and otherwise!

With the natives growing restless, skipper AG eventually broke the deadlock just past the half-hour but it was Welbeck who came off at the break the happier.

"That one's for you boss...er, I mean stand-in boss!"

I also enjoyed the interval cuppa, thanks to news of the Stiffs' "massive win" at relegation rivals Sculcoates.

Having gained promotion to the First Team dugout due to Mack’s trip to France to watch Rovers and the need for Rutter’s presence in a depleted Reserves line-up for the aforementioned Scully match, the Stiffs supremo was left with an awkward HT talk to deliver. But whatever he said worked.

A tactical genius?

Employing more width the locals immediately started to stretch their opponents and Man Mountain doubled the lead from 20 yards.

Keeper Pywell again left wondering what the eight in front of him are f___ing about at!

On came subs Hutch and Thompson and both immediately had an impact. Hutch headed home a Mountain cross for 3-0 before Thommo weighed in with a fine double.

"Goals don't move!"

Hopes of a third home clean sheet were then dashed in the final minute as the otherwise excellent referee awarded what might well be termed a “soft” penalty, from which Carl Lake completed the day’s scoring.

Scant consolation

At the final whistle I had one of those rare moments when I feel like throttling one of our own supporters. It came when I heard him telling a Welbeck member, “It’s a good job you didn’t come with eleven, you’d have beaten us today.” No they wouldn’t. Chances are our lads would have raised their game accordingly.  C__k.

My mood was lightened by news of a valuable win for The Tigers and further so by the availability of Black Sheep Bitter on draught in The Neptune – quite possibly the result of the day!

Given their depletion on the field, off it Welbeck’s was one of the larger entourages we’ve entertained this season. And what a very amicable bunch they proved to be. As their secretary departed I bade him good luck for the future but I got the feeling that the picture might not be quite as black as had previously being painted.

The only blips on an otherwise successful Saturday were provided by the Casuals, shipping “9 (nine)” at home to Gilberdyke Reserves and Rovers, beaten by the Catalans.

But Match of the Day was for once watched with anticipation rather than trepidation and as I wended my way up the stairs to Bedfordshire it was in the knowledge that tomorrow would bring with it packing and preparation for a week with Billy Butlin.