It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas

Friday 24th December

Seasonal Tastes

I sampled some decent brews over the Festive period, beginning on the 'Works Do', which began with a very respectable meal at the Hallmark Hotel (North Ferriby) before slipping into something far more degenerate around Ye Olde Towne of Hull.
Some of the more favourable beers tasted included: Great Newsome 'Trial By Chocolate' (Lion & Key), York Brewery 'Guzzler' & Timothy Taylor 'Golden Best' (Ye Olde Black Boy) and Rudgate Viking in Walters.  From there the memory became a little hazy.
The works 'Team Night Out' was a good old Beer & Curry night, basically involving aperatifs in Pave on Prinny Ave before adjourning to the Raj Pavilion for fodder.  I was slightly disappointed by the choices on offer in a usually top drawer bar, although the Deuchars IPA was on its usual fine form.  And unlike 2010, I actually arrived at Raj in good form, good enough to enjoy a couple of pints of Cobra and an excellent Bhalti Mixed.  A good night was had by all. 
Out on the Humber Riviera, the Granby and The Oss continue to trade solely in Tetleys as their hand-pulled offering; in fairness, both are well maintained.  Meanwhile, a couple of trips to the Crown & Anchor at Kilnsea ensured some Timothy Taylor Landlord of the highest quality.
With a decent enough selection of bottled brews to keep me going until the much-anticipated away trip to Parkhouse on 21st January, things are definitely on the up. Oh, and I mustn't forget to enter the Great Newsome Brewery's "Message In A Bottle" competition.  Mine's a drop of Line & Length if you would be so kind...

The first shoots of recovery?

Saturday 17th December

CML North Division

DFS Welbeck Welfare 0 Easington United 3

As it says on the official match report, not exactly a result to set CML opponents quaking in their boots about an Eastenders revival but by 'eck did we need it.  

The Kiveton defeat hit everybody hard.  Without taking anything away from our visitors, we should not be shipping six unanswered goals at home to teams like Kiveton.  Things needed to change - and quickly.

My mood was lightened with the help of some Timothy Taylor Landlord ale which accompanied tea for some fifteen of us at The Crown & Anchor the following day.  Even the blackest of moments cannot fail to be brightened - even ever so slightly - by a pint or two of this perennially fine Yorkshire ale.

Alcohol would continue to play a healing role; further recuperation being aided over the next couple of days by the bottle of Gordon's Sloe Gin I'd bought to help introduce some Festive spirit into the Slush household.  

Meanwhile, Wednesday 13th December brought a double-dose of Slushette Nativity plays in the afternoon; the Younger depicting an angel in her offering about a star that was struggling to shine, while my eldest threw herself into her role of singing sheep in the older ones' ditty, 'Bethlehem Bandits'.  Suffice to say, both girls stole their particular shows...ahem.

Just the TWO sugars Dave?

The evening brought a different type of production, courtesy of Bad Apple Theatre Company's tale, A Yorkshire Christmas Carol, being staged in Easington Community Hall as part of a tour of village halls across the North and East Ridings. 

At the same time as I was enjoying an updated regional version of Dickens' famous tale, the club's weekly training session at Hull's Soccer Sensations centre was being attended by four members of the now defunct Hutton Cranswick club and a fifth new face, previously with fellow CML club Westella & Willerby.

The quintet's attendance was thanks largely to a week or so of intense ringing around conducted by asst-mgr Nicho on the back of tip-offs from other local managers and players.  So impressed was our No.2 and Mack by what they saw that come the end of the session we had four new names registered with the club and an official notice of approach going in for the other.  Things were finally beginning to look up...

The Pistol does a fine impersonation of a twat  in a hat!

For the foreseeable future, hosts DFS Welbeck Welfare are using the excellently named “Clod”, home to the now-defunct Forest Town FC. And what a wonderful ground it is.

Although immediately apparent where the pitch gets its name from – for most of the game I thought they were playing with a pudding instead of a ball – the cycle track around the pitch and the steeply banked terracing/seating on the Welfare Club side almost lent itself to the feeling we were in a UEFA Cup tie behind the former Iron Curtain. Indeed, central defender Biggy Smalls later said he’d expected us up on the bank to be letting flares off. Unfortunately, the effect of doing so may well have been lost – aside from The Pistol and I the “crowd” consisted of two Lancastrian ground hoppers and half-a-dozen semi-interested punters watching from the Academy decking.

Pistol packing 'em in

Although I was frustrated by Welbeck’s no-shows last season, I’ve got to admit to having real respect for the way they continue to plough on regardless. Despite sitting some 11 points adrift at the foot of the table without a win or point all season, facing a constant turnaround of players, having seen their previous manager depart for pastures new on the eve of a game and currently being forced to lodge elsewhere while the impressive new ground development at Meden Vale takes shape, those in charge continue to grin and bear it.

Before the game, manager Chris Bennett and assistant Iain Peet (who’s also the treasurer) highlighted some of the problems the club has experienced and continues to experience. What drives both men – and their fellow committee members – on is the superb youth set-up that should eventually see Welbeck Welfare FC restored to its former status as “a very strong Club serving the community of Warsop and the surrounding villages of North Nottinghamshire”.

The big kick-off

An FA Charter Standard Community Club (an award it received back in 2009) Welbeck are not the only club in the area to fall on hard times - neighbours Church Warsop having recently “gone to the wall” just two seasons after winning the CML Premier Division title.

I enjoyed the hospitality immensely and just hoped it would extend to the pitch. It did. We were ahead on 10mins courtesy of a sweet left foot strike from Gav. By the break we’d doubled our lead, new boy Shawn marking his debut in style.

As I gradually began to lose all feeling in my feet second half, a third goal to effectively wrap things up helped offset the numbness; Frosty’s surging run and cross being drilled into his own net by hapless centre-half Malcolm Redford.

Despite a spirited showing by the hosts, they rarely looked like registering at the other end and 3-0 was a very welcome scoreline in view of recent events. 

'Mini Mack' prepares to step into dad's shoes

The spacious Forest Town Academy offered a comfortable place to retire to (shame about lack of any cask ale – I opted for a pint Chestnut Mild given I would be driving later that evening) and news of a battling performance by the nine-man Stiffs against leaders South Cave, along with another fine win for the Barmby Army helped put a very satisfactory smile on my face. It had been a long time coming…

 

Where do we go from here?

Saturday 10th December

CML North Division

Easington United 0 Kiveton Park 6

I'm not quite sure where to start with a posting about the lowest point yet in the First Team's CML North season; perhaps even the lowest point in their CML career?  I might simply leave you this link to the official match report, which seems to wrap things up nicely enough.
Leave it with me...

Barmcelona!

Wednesday, 7th December

Football League Championship

Hull City 2 Birmingham City 1

It's December and I've just made my first visit of the season to the KC Stadium - that's a fact bordering on scandalous!  At least after seeing the new "Barmby Army" at first-hand I have no reason to make the wait for a return trip such a long one.  They were bloody good to watch.
There's no point in adding my own version of events on here.  There are far more capable efforts, both official and unofficial, to render my own view somewhat pointless.
However, I did enjoy the fact that one of those accompanying me on the night was a Smoggy workmate who returned to his digs convinced that both The Tigers and his beloved Boro would be in the end of season shake-up for promotion.  
Oh, here's hopng...well at least for half of his opinion to be proved right!

By the time I get to Phoenix...

Saturday 3rd December
CML North Division
Phoenix FC 5  Easington United 2

Take out one potentially match-winning midfielder, add an unsettled goalkeeper, a confused skipper and a youngster with a chip on his shoulder before finally throwing in a pinch of pissed-up goalkeeper and you have the perfect recipe for a first ever defeat at Pavilion Lane.
And that's what happened.

It had been shaping up to be a decent week, given my participation in the East Riding County FA Cup draw and the prospect of several cask ales awaiting my attention in the Phoenix Sports & Social Club post-match at the upcoming trip to Rotherham.

Then events conspired to put the mockers on things.

First up came the news that goalkeeper Charlie Holden was on the verge of finally completing a move to Hall Road Rangers, something that had been touted for several weeks.

Then, on Wednesday morning (date of the aforementioned cup draw and a day I'd set aside for a football-free Christmas shopping day in Beverley) I was informed that both Mozzer and Blounty had trained the previous night with Bottesford Town and were set to join the NCEL Division 1 strugglers.

Hmm, the Christmas spirit was suddenly sadly lacking.

By Friday things were looking slightly better.  Although Moz had decided to make the move to the South Bank, both Blounty and Charlie had both pledged their immediate future to us and Fitzy had been tempted back into the fold.  It was a fairly strong-looking 12 for the game at one of my favourite CML venues. 
But it was only tea-time...
By the time we departed Easington on match day, we weren't looking so strong.  Conduct by Charlie and Fitzy the previous night that was deemed "completely unacceptable" by Mack left him no option but to inform both that their services were not required that day.
A frantic search for a replacement keeper proved fruitless but at least Jammo was roped in to give us a "doughty dozen" players in total.  Charlie actually arrived at the meeting point to try and ensure we took thirteen but, backed by his players, Mack stood firm and the somewhat worse-for-wear looking netminder was prevented from getting on the bus.
As we headed off down the M18 I did wonder what else this season could throw at us?

Smalls - our very own Little Boy Blue

In the event it threw us a chastening 5-2 defeat.  A pre-match discussion resulted in Smalls being the one to don the gloves in Charlie's absence.  He would be largely inactive save for picking the ball out of the net.
The first half was particularly dire - although things may well have been different had  Jamie Hartley not stayed on his feet when tugged at by the "last man".  No penalty, no red card.
"So I'll tell him to go down next time shall I?" asked Mack.
"You telling me you'll get your lads to cheat?" came the asst-referee's reply. FFS!
Nicho's pre-match talk had been spread over four sheets of A4 paper.  It was a commendable effort, packed with calls for pride, passion, belief - "I'm firty-free an' I still think I'm gonna be the nexct Stevie Gerrard" - that sort of thing.  It also included a rather high quota of expletives, particularly the 'F'-word.  As Jamie Cousins observed later, "Y'know if Nicho had deleted all the "fucking"'s from that speech it would've fitted on a post-it!"
Coming in two down at half-time prompted another Mike Bassett-like performance from the asst-boss.  Frosty stuck his head in the tea hut on his way back to the pitch: "He's got Tourette's that lad".  We knew immediately who he was referring to.
In a way, however, it worked.  For despite shipping three second half goals we were actually the better team.  No, honestly; Nicho from the spot and Frosty late on giving a slight air of respectability to proceedings.
The usually extensive range of real ales in the Clubhouse was limited to Bombardier, Black Sheep and my choice, Jem's Stout, from back home at Great Newsome Brewery.  and very nice too, its taste enhanced by news of Robert Koren's dramatic late winner for the Tigers against the returning Pearson's Leicester.
On the way home it was heartening to receive several texts, all very supportive of the day's stance.  This was further in evidence when I slipped in for a sneaky post-trip pint at The Granby on our return to Easington.
Sometimes you've simply got to make a stand for what you believe to be right...even if the short-term result is a bloody good hiding!

Oh the irony

On the same day that the strength of football in this area was being lauded on local radio, it was confirmed that one of the more progressive grassroots clubs had ceased to exist.  Local football stinks at times...

During last night's live East Riding County FA Cup draws on Radio Humberside's "Sports Talk", presenter Gwilym Lloyd asked ERCFA Chief Executive Adam Lowthorpe whether he had ever known such a breadth of leagues as that in which East Riding clubs are currently involved and, partly on the back of this, the strength of the local game was quite rightly lauded.

However, within a couple of hours there was a reminder to us all just how dangerously misplaced such views can appear, with the news that Hutton Cranswick United Football Club is no more.  

According to an official statement released last night, the Rotsea Lane outfit will resign from the Central Midlands League with immediate effect.

It's a sad end for a club that progressed from the Driffield & District Football League to Step 7 football in the CML in just two decades.

From 'whipping boys' in the inaugural Humber Premier League of 2000/01 they were crowned league champions three season later.  

Frustrated by what they saw as the HPL's lack of progress off-the-field, the club then successfully applied for membership of the CML Premier Division in 2008.

Their approach to the game at Committee and playing level has run very similar to ours and I can only extend sympathy to Jim, Denis and Ollie on this saddest of news.

Unsurprisingly, the reasons cited for the club's demise are mainly financial (including one that also takes a swipe at over-zealous officialdom - a source of much irritation across the board given the fines now imposed for even the most minor of indiscretions).  

Lack of support in the local area has proved a major factor.  Despite a recent showpiece occasion against Hull City in the ERCFA Senior Cup, which managed to pull in a crowd of just under 200 to Rotsea, the wolves weren't kept far from the door for long.  And as Denis explained to me this morning, when the two league games either side of that tie brought in 14 each (with 7 and 6 away fans, from Glapwell and Parkhouse respectively) and the cost of the match officials is over a hundred quid, it doesn't take a genius to work out the difficulties.

That aforementioned Senior Cup tie saw City win 2-0 but had Tigers Head of Youth, Billy Russell singing the praises of their opponents.  Under different circumstances, such good press can kick-start a season.  Instead, just a fortnight later, Cranny struggled to fulfil a game at Thoresby, travelling there with less than a full complement before - in typical fashion - putting on a terrific battling display.  They lost 2-0 having played more than half the game with ten men (goalkeeper Leon Sewell being rather harshly dismissed) and finishing with nine following a second red card.

My league season will not be the same without the trip to Rotsea, where the post-match hospitality was quite rightly lauded as the best in the league and where, whatever the result, the likes of Denis and Jim would always be on hand for a pint and a chat afterwards.

When I express my disappointment at the loss of this club, I speak for many at Low Farm past and present (it was no surprise that both the current and previous First Team bosses were among the first to get in touch to express their sadness at the news).  Not for them or me the "told you so" smugness that may well emanate from certain quarters of the East Riding at what may be seen as another club that got too big for its boots.  Always "better to have tried and (ultimately) failed than never to have tried at all".  And as Denis is keen to point out, it was bloody good while it lasted.

FOOTNOTE: Since posting the above, the following piece with club chairman Jim Ezard appeared on the HDM website.  An interesting read.