A belated Halloween Horror Story

Saturday 2nd November
ER County League Premier Division
Easington Utd Reserves 0 Walkington 4

The Slush Family attended a little soiree last Saturday night, organised as part of the current trend for celebrating ‘All Hallows Eve’. 
Perhaps not surprisingly, I'd only "entered into the spirit (apt!) of things" under protest.  To Mrs Slush & the Slushettes my dislike of Halloween simply reinforced my status at home as “Chief Misery Guts”.  
It's that time of year when I really come into my own in this regard.  There's Hull Fair (“a waste of money; full of chavs”), the half-term School Disco (“you can go with your mum can’t you?  Anyway, football’s on telly...”) and of course there's Trick or Treat (“it’s glorified begging...and don’t expect me to answer the door here neither!”).  Refusing to partake of any of these all adds to the “Grumpy” image I positively revel in.  As Mrs Slush is keen to point out - the spirit of Scrooge lives on all year round in our house.
Thankfully, I found myself not alone in my discomfort and found a particularly willing fellow anti-Halloween dissenter in my sometime drinking partner Fuller.
Aside from an age-old rivalry on the local football front, Fuller and I tend to agree on many things, including a love of real ale and as we sat there, resplendent in our horror-themed fancy dress (I know, I know...), supping pints of “Sleck Dust” from award-winning local Great NewsomeBrewery, we came to the conclusion that only one source was to blame.

“More bloody Americanisation”, we agreed.

Similar to the way the indigenous red squirrel has been all but done for by its American grey cousin, another British institution is under threat as the craze to do all manner of things with pumpkins now threatens to completely eclipse Bonfire Night.  
At this rate we'll be relegating Christmas in favour of Thanksgiving next...   

This year's Halloween number

Perhaps my dislike of Halloween is because I used up my taste for all things ghoulish during the countless nights I spent at Hull’s legendary Spiders nightclub during the Eighties.  A late-night haven mainly for Goths, post-punks and sub-cults of all forms (and with a soundtrack to die for) it was a dark, brooding but, all the same, very enjoyable place.  And you can forget Halloween fancy dress – in Spiders there really WERE some sights to send shivers down your spine! 

My “Spiders Years” coincided with a penchant for 1950's schlock horror flicks (“Attack of the 50ft Woman” or “I Was A Teenage Werewolf” anyone?) and a love of bands like The Meteors and The Cramps that first brought vampires, werewolves, human flies and even goo-goo muck cascading into my life. So as you see, I’m almost Halloween’d out!

My costume was better than that!

At any rate the real horrors for me this Halloween occurred on the football field and not on 31st October.  And I’m not talking about Kyle Walker’s “challenge” on Stephen Quinn during Hull City’s heartbreaking penalty defeat in their League Cup tie at Spurs.  Nor am I referring to the "joke" penalty that had decided the league game between the two teams the previous Sunday; nor the “Gareth Barry Show” in the 2-1 defeat at Everton a week earlier.  All of which reminded me just why I got so exasperated by the Premier League last time the Tigers were in it. 

No, outdoing even these moments in terms of sending shock-waves through my system was the phone conversation with First Team boss Sumo at ten to four last Saturday afternoon, during which he informed me of a one nil defeat at the hands of bottom club Welbeck Welfare.  A real seasonal low point if ever there was one.

A sort of Theatre Of Dreams

Thankfully, the lack of minibus and the aforementioned commitment to a Halloween/Fireworks party had prevented me making the trip to Meden Vale's own Horror Show.

Not that my afternoon at Low Farm had proved much more uplifting.  
Although there was plenty of heart on show in the Reserves’ display against a Walkington side that again included Hull City Wembley hero Dean Windass, a resounding 4-0 defeat ensured the Stiffs would spend the week at the foot of the Premier Division. 

Meanwhile, across the ditch, the Casuals were given a doing by holders Barmby Moor in the second round of the East Riding Qualifying Cup.  Manager DC wore a look of complete despondency in The Granby afterwards.

Horror tackle? No but Willo's in the pink!

The tracksuit had come out of retirement that afternoon as I took on the role of assistant to temporary manager John Clarke for the aforementioned Stiffs v Walkington match.  This was due to injury and a pre-arranged date with The Pigeon Detectives in Leeds ensuring caretaker-boss Foz’s absence.  For once the afternoon began with a little bit of optimism as we actually lined up with subs – two of them.  However, by half-time this option had been halved thanks to injury across the ditch to a Casuals side reduced to eleven men by yet another no-show this season.  The lack of commitment among today’s youth is really, really depressing but I’ll perhaps rant about that another time...

Twister!

With hindsight, the decision to let Steve Jam hop across the ditch to replace the injured Pat was a mistake.  The Casuals were already five down by the break and their cup hopes were going the same way as countless Guy Fawkes effigies.  And we could have done with another option off the bench.

Having fallen a goal behind after just two minutes – Lewis Palin (son of Walkington boss and former Tigers favourite Leigh) being allowed the freedom of the Farm to slot past Pagey – we’d hit back well up to the break.

With veteran duo Stivvy and Stu asserting some control at the back, Wicksy orchestrating things from midfield and makeshift front pair Shane and Willo working their socks off, we managed to put Walkington on the back foot.  Unfortunately the one chance that mattered wouldn’t come. 

I was a teenage Windass

For his part Mr Windass mixed patches of quality - ghosting in and out of positions – with a less desirable approach to officialdom.  Not only did the referee feel the wrath of the maestro’s tongue several times without doing anything about it, rather more shamefully so did Jam’s dad, acting in the purely voluntary capacity of linesman.  What made it worse was that the decision that had aroused Deano’s ire had been a perfectly correct one.  Once more, though, the referee failed to take action in protection of his “assistant”.

Thankfully, as the heavens opened and the wind picked up considerably, the second half saw Deano let his feet do the talking and he doubled Walkington’s lead just 10 mins in.  It must be added that the deteriorating weather conditions played a part – his right foot clipped finish seemingly heading for Kilnsea before veering round and over Pagey.

The wet surface then played a part as sub Bogdan’s finish zipped off it and under Page for 3-0.

Stumo’s misplaced pass then gifted the same player a second to complete the scoring.

Heads we lose

Not that we went down without a fight.  Shane rattled the bar with one stonker from 30 yards and nobody threw the towel in.  Unfortunately, with Brett replacing the knackered Pash early on and then both Stu and Luke succumbing to various ailments, we looked a pretty dispirited bunch by the end.

It was glorious sunshine as I helped carry out the usual post-match duties, although it tended to be overshadowed by the dark cloud formed in the form of that news from Welbeck.  Even a very nice pint of Great Newsome’s 'Autumn Bounty' in The Granby couldn’t quite erase the taste. 

Still, I had a Halloween Party to go to to take my mind off things - and some films to watch when I got home...   

Harworth Five-O

Saturday 26th October

Central Midlands League North Division

Harworth Colliery 2 Easington United 0

Big Craig doesn’t normally do away games, preferring to remain at Low Farm with his weighbridge and camera capturing the best of the County League action.

However, today there was none – both the Reserves and Casuals were also on the road.

So, what better way to prepare for your own “surprise” 50th birthday bash later that night than bag a seat with the manager in Le Sumo Limousine and head for Harworth?  Well, aside from clambering aboard the Pistol Pete Express, I would suggest there is none! 

Talking of being fifty, I’m glad to say I still have a few years left before I get there (although I’m already on with planning the celebrations, which currently involves a week touring the real ale hostelries of the Dales & Moors - I'll keep you all posted). 

However, I was made to feel all my forty-something years when discussing the relative merits of various iPhone options with a young salesman in Hull last Sunday.

In trying to show me the benefits of Deezer (which apparently is a music on demand service now provided free with iPhones for Orange) the aforementioned salesman asked me to name an artist.

“Be careful, don’t embarrass yourself”, said Mrs Slush.

As if.  “New Order”, I offered.

His face said it all.  “New.  Order.  Is that two words?”  I couldn’t believe my ears.

He typed it into Deezer.  “Hmm, ‘Blue Monday’, is that a track by the New Order you mean?”

Mrs Slush checked me before I exploded.  “A track by the New Order you mean?” Only the biggest selling 12-inch single of all time you fucking fuckwit fucker!”

“Yes” I replied. 

Mrs Slush was still laughing as we left the store.  We both were, even more so when I said, “Imagine if it had been you wanting the phone.  What would he have found for ‘Aqua’?”

 

New who?

To think we’re nearly into November yet this was the Pistol’s first trip of the season behind the wheel.  He was keen to make up for lost time – by the time we left Hull bound for north Nottinghamshire, we’d already had tales of his first initiation to the art of masturbation (obviously many moons ago), played slalom with a pillar-box along Hedon Road and almost ram-raided a drive-thru McDonalds in his desperation to find a toilet. 

Oh yes, The Pistol had hit the ground running...

We travelled in remarkably high spirits given the fact Thoresby’s 2-0 win over us the previous week had sent us back into the bottom two, today’s opponents Harworth sat fourth in the table and we had a growing absence list.

Huteson, Westoby and Wilson were all missing, while Frosty’s reported return to HPL side Crown had certainly ruffled feathers. 

Returning to the ranks were last week’s "absent friends" Jammer and Lew, along with Bezza who was over his previous week’s bug.  Tom Mac’s return to the first team fold ensured we would have 13 boys in maroon at Scrooby, one of whom - "Running Man" JC - was in line for his 150th First Team appearance, so there! 

They’d given the ground a lick of paint since our last visit.  If memory serves me this was done ahead of the recent visit of Evo-stik League side Frickley in the Sheffield & Hallamshire Senior Cup, a game the visitors edged by a solitary strike.

Harworth had also been beaten the previous weekend, 3-2 at Brodsworth, a result that had left manager Brendan Wilson questioning his players’ attitude in today’s match programme.  Hmm, might be interesting should we score early, thought I...

Rob Waite, aka ‘Davy Lamp’ from the excellent “66 POW” blog, was one of the first people I bumped into, team sheet completion being just one of countless tasks this very likeable character carries out on match day at Harworth. 
Always good for an anecdote or two, spending a game in Rob’s company can make the worst result almost bearable and was another reason why the controversy of our game here last season was even more, er, awkward for me.

 

Where's Brim when you need him?

Just prior to kick-off, as the referee's assistant was ensuring Brim Biglin's Harworth equivalent would have to sort his nets out, I received a text from Reserves manager Fozzy to tell me that a Stumo Campbell goal had them tying 1-1 in the Premier Division basement battle at Sculcoates.  There was no update from the Casuals’ game in Cottingham – never a good sign.

Harworth had instigated a “kids go free” offer for today’s game (partly to stop them clambering over the fence for free anyway, as Rob later acknowledged).  Looking around the ground in the minutes leading up to kick-off I couldn’t see any noticeable uptake – indeed it was later confirmed as five having done so, out of an overall attendance of 33.  Still, the club can’t be knocked for trying.

In addition to The Pistol and Burt-on-Bus, I was joined in the ‘away section’ by the aforementioned Big Craig and our manager’s daughter ‘Katie McLicious’.  With keeper Mad John having his own personal band of supporters (well, there were two of them) in attendance and Mrs Wilks & family there to encourage Paul, we were fairly well represented on a dull but thankfully dry autumn afternoon.

And Graham must score...

And we began brightly.  Although Mad John was called upon to produce one early save, we were giving as good as we got and forced a succession of corners.  From one of these, AG looked well-placed to justify the big build-up I’d given him...but headed over.

Gav then went through on goal, the defender grabbed his arm, Gav stayed on his feet and got the shot away.  The keeper saved.  Corner.  Sometimes, just sometimes, it’s worth going down.

Back came Harworth and Mad John was twice called upon in quick succession, one save in particular being excellent.  We appeared to have weathered the storm.  Then Harworth scored.

Frustratingly it came from a throw-in to us, awarded well inside the home half.  Unfortunately the throw found one orange shirt who swept it upfield to another – tricky youngster Tomlinson – whose cross was dispatched expertly by striker Tom Walker.

Sumo’s mood was dark and would have been darker had Mad John not come to the rescue again before the break.  We retired to the Hospitality area in Tom’s Tea Room relieved to be only one down.

 

All eyes on you John

Over tea and biscuits I received news of another Casuals defeat, 3-1 at Cottingham Rangers, while Burt & Craig discussed buses in Malta.  I jest ye not.  It was a relief to get back out for the second half!

After an entertaining first 45 minutes the second period proved somewhat disappointing.  Mad John produced two excellent stops in quick succession at the start of it, before the game became bogged down into a scrappy, niggling affair on a pitch that was proving difficult for both sides.

As with the first half we had our moments and sub Lew came close to levelling matters with a 20-yard free-kick that pinged against the home bar.

Having seen the games against Clay Cross and Phoenix, I was well aware of the most likely finish to this one.  And so it was; increasingly desperate attempts to make something happen resulting in the careless loss of possession, which allowed Sam West to set up sub Ollie Chappell for the killer second goal.

The final few minutes witnessed a Sumo outburst that had Big Craig giving Katie McLicious a look that said, “Could be an entertaining ride home!”

 

One Eastender with something to celebrate - JC's 150th

Thankfully the immediate post-match mood was positive enough and the lads were in good form by the time we’d retired to the bar.  Indeed their mood was noticeably more jovial than that of the Potter serving the food – his frown would give ‘Appy Barry a run for his money!

With beers procured from the nearby Asda, we were soon on the way home and already turning our thoughts to Saturday’s trip to Welbeck.  However, I had more pressing matters to attend to – like being one of those cramming into Easington village phone box, I mean, The Granby, to help the aforementioned Big Craig celebrate his impending Big Five-O. 

They didn't play any New Order on Saturday night but I will rectify that error now, just for Andy at phones4u.  I've purposely eschewed 'Blue Monday' in favour of this little gem...

 

Photos courtesy of 'The 66 POW' (Rob Waite) and Burt Graham.
Official match report can be read here.
Harworth match report (via 'The 66 POW' blog) can be read here.

Back on the Blog

Saturday 12th October

ER County League Premier Division

Easington Utd Reserves 0 Bridlington Town Reserves 3 

Saturday 19th October

Central Midlands League North Division

Easington Utd 0 Thoresby Colliery Welfare 2 

'Tis October, the month of Hull Fair and Halloween; of misty mornings, murky afternoons and of evenings that are often best spent sampling seasonal nutty ales around an old log fire.  And it’s a month in which Easington United tend to lose football matches.  Regularly.

Of course there is always the hope that we will buck the trend.  But this usually lasts barely a week.

Unfortunately, none of our teams can afford another ‘Black October’, especially the focus of my attention this particular Saturday – the Reserves.  They approached the month in miserable form; summer having seen the departure of the manager and key personnel from the squad that had gained promotion last season, September then bringing defeats in both opening league games at Beverley and Holme.

In addition, a first round defeat at Driffield Rangers had ensured there would be no repeat of last season’s run to the League Cup final.

When South Cave Sporting Club then ended interest in the County Cup at the first round stage a week later it became obvious that all efforts this season were now to be thrown into battling against relegation.

Still I’m ever the optimist (well, I try to be!) and as the Elder Slushette and I headed for ‘The Farm’ on a suitably damp Saturday afternoon, there was genuine hope that today might just witness a change in fortune. 

This feel-good factor wasn’t just the result of watching Andros Townsend and his England team-mates put Montenegro to the sword the previous night. Oh no, there were far more relevant reasons for my buoyancy...
For a start the Stiffs were playing their first “proper” home game of the season, on the main pitch and with the Tea Hut open!

Secondly, a lack of First Team fixture actually meant caretaker-boss Foz had some extra quality available in terms of personnel.

And thirdly, although having won two on the bounce ahead of their trip to the Humber Riviera, opponents Bridlington Town Reserves were not setting the top flight on fire. Indeed, the Seasiders were exactly the sort of side that we should be confident of beating if Premier Division survival is to become an expectation rather than a hope.

So there you have it.  All set up for the first 3pts of the season...

 

Low Farm – although always a thing of rustic beauty in this beholder’s eyes – doesn’t look quite so aesthetic on a drizzle-filled autumn afternoon.  This impression is further reinforced when, as today, the generator decides to play up leaving the changing room lights resembling a disco but without the sounds.

Unsurprisingly, the vast majority of a respectable-sized crowd numbering nearly twenty opted to take in the action from the shelter of the “Farm Shed”, or “North West Ryvita Stand” to give it its adopted name (don’t ask – I’m sure I’ve explained why somewhere in a previous blog!).  Among their number was First Team manager ‘Sumo’, in attendance not only to partake of some of the typically dry humour always on offer but also to cast an eye over any potential hopefuls.

For most of the first half he’d have been fairly impressed.  By and large the locals enjoyed the better of things, with the Town keeper easier the busier of the two.

That said, the visitors appeared to be getting too much freedom down the flanks, particularly the left, and only a couple of poor finishes ensured the score remained blank as long as it did.

The breakthrough came towards half-time and emanated from a defensive lapse that allowed Josh Chrislow to stride through and take the ball round Pagey before slotting into an unguarded net. 

 

 

I spent half-time (and indeed much of the second half) putting the world of local football to rights with Patrington-based referee Sprucey and ex-Withernsea AFC stalwart Neil Stivvy.  The usual subjects were trotted out – poor attitudes, lack of commitment, unwillingness to learn – which, in short, all add up to the following conclusion: “it weren’t like that in our day!”

As we vented our frustrations on the sidelines, those being felt by the Stiffs on the pitch were increased by near misses at one end – Gav’s shot being blocked by the last defender; sub Shane striking the post – and clinical Bridlington finishing at the other.

An unseemly bout of handbags brought proceedings to a scruffy end and – apparently – helped convince our visitors that retiring to The Granby would be an unwise move.  I found this particularly disappointing and took to Twitter to tell them so...well, it made me feel better if nothing else!

As it was, I can only report to the absent Seasiders that you missed some particularly tasty sausage rolls and a lovely pint of Old Golden Hen (available alongside the landlord’s usually reliable Tetley Cask). 

 

It rained that night.  It continued raining well into Sunday morning, which had a profound effect on one of the traditional highlights of the local calendar – the Welwick Heritage weekend. 

Usually the Sunday morning sees a large stretch of the Moat Farm grassland turned into a car boot sale.  Not this year.  Indeed, not only was there no car boot sale, there were almost no vehicles at all as many of those who pitch up for an extended break decided to return home early before they became stuck on the increasingly wet field.

We timed our annual visit just right – some rare (for this October) sunshine accompanying our walk around the assorted stalls and displays celebrating the area’s rural past.

By the time I was enjoying a delicious pint of Timothy Taylor’s Landlord to accompany tea at The Crown & Anchor at Kilnsea (as much a fixture of our Welwick Heritage Weekend as the threshing machine) the tribulations of my local football team were temporarily no longer uppermost in my thoughts.

By Tuesday it was the national team taking centre-stage as England lined up against Poland needing just a win to qualify for next year’s World Cup Finals.  Now where have I seen that before?

The much talked about 1973 meeting was the first televised England game I can remember watching all the way through.  Thankfully, unlike on that occasion, Roy’s boys didn’t falter this time round and I could retire to bed to dream of a summer on the Copacabana...

 Autumn on the Humber Riviera may not quite conjure up quite the same images but, hey, given a bit of sunshine and the right soundtrack anything is possible.

Nowadays such a soundtrack in the Slush household would be an eclectic affair.  For example, in the past fortnight my choice of listening has ranged from a ‘50s jump-jive compilation and '80s indie-faves The Wedding Present through the '90s sounds of Saint Etienne, Gene and The Hacienda Club to a classic Northern Soul collection and Calvin Harris.  There, label that little lot if you will.

Of course at one time, the only bits of vinyl to be played on my decks would have been filed loosely under “Rock ‘n’ Roll”.  As a teenager caught up in the so-called Cat Movement of the early-Eighties I would have been mortified had someone told me that in future years I’d be listening to anything that didn’t have its origins in the American Deep South.

I was reminded of such times by the presence at Low Farm last Saturday of a certain Alan Franklin.

 

A resident of the village throughout his childhood and into his mid-20s, Al (or “Franks”) was well-known for his dedicated following of several musical fashions.

And as he stomped his way across the Low Farm car-park I could see by the flying jacket, checked shirt and turned-up denims that he was once again on a retro tip.

Renewing acquaintance with the aforementioned Mr Franklin may account for a less detailed than usual account of our home defeat by Thoresby Colliery Welfare in this our sixth successive Saturday at home.

Certainly, large parts of the second half seemed to simply form a backdrop to memories of those halcyon days of the early 1980s. 

 

Prior to this distraction I’d seen us enjoy the better of things in the first half only to be undone by goals from James Scothern and Tony Buchanan, the latter being one of the finest strikes you’ll see at Low Farm this or any other season.

At the start of the second period Dave Westoby passed up a great chance to pull one back, Gav hit the bar and Sam Huteson was forced out of the game by the latest poor challenge from Nathan Brown.  The Thoresby full-back received a long-overdue yellow card and was substituted shortly after when by rights he could have been off the field via different means, leaving us to go at 10 men for forty minutes.

It was now that my attention on the game came into conflict with revived memories of days gone by: of Friday nights watching bands like The Jets and The Blue Cats at The Goodfellowship Inn on Cottingham Road; of Saturday mornings spent trawling through the latest import releases at the legendary Sydney Scarborough in Hull city centre; of Saturday afternoons catching the train to and from Boothferry Park.

 

I’d last seen Al on a previous trip to Low Farm during our HPL days.  At the time he was involved with someone whose son was playing against us.  Now, once again single, he appears to have taken up where he left off all those years ago. 

I’d be lying if I didn’t say there was a touch of envy as I listened to his tales of seeing Ray Campi at the legendary Hemsby Rock ‘n’ Roll Weekender or even his attendance at Hull Soul Club’s monthly event at The Trades & Labour Club.  I smiled at the almost youthful exuberance that was evident in his recounting of such events – and I smiled because, despite the advancing years, I still can’t talk to Al without thinking he still bears an uncanny resemblance to Dave Bartram, lead singer of mock-Teddy Boy revivalists Showaddywaddy!

The aforementioned Mr Bartram may have proved a more effective front-man than the various ones employed by manager Sumo during the second half at Low Farm (see what I’ve done there). For despite plenty of possession and no lack of effort, aside from those chances at the start of the period, we rarely forged a decent opening during the whole of the second half – unless I missed them while reminiscing about all things rockabilly of course!

  
An official account of the Reserves v Bridlington Town Reserves game can be read here, while that of the First Team defeat by Thoresby can be found here.

Pictures from both games (courtesy of Craig Stephenson and Burt Graham) accompany both reports and/or can be found on our Easington United Facebook page.

 

 

 

 

Togganetted!

Easington United – Back from the brink

The following article is my first to be published on Togganet ("the No.1 Resource for Amateur Football In Yorkshire")...

 

Gavin Thurkettle scores the fifth goal in the 9-1 win over Welbeck
(Craig Stephenson)

 

On Saturday October 5, 2013 Easington United hammered Welbeck Welfare 9-1 at home. It was their first win of the season in the Black Dragon North Division of the Windsor Foodservice Central Midlands League. 

Sam Huteson was the star of the show. The young winger scored a hat-trick and claimed three assists as ‘The Eastenders’ put daylight between themselves and the bottom club. 

While the victory was certainly enjoyable, more importantly it provided vindication – if any were required – of the club’s decision not to pull the plug on its CML membership; something that had appeared a distinct possibility as recently as August. 

Had they done so, they would have followed the likes of Hutton Cranswick United and, further back, Kingston Amateurs as teams from the East Riding of Yorkshire who found the move from grassroots local to regional football a step too far. And many would have said, “I told you so”. 

The Easington I am referring to (there are, to my knowledge, at least four in England) is a small village on the Yorkshire coast, situated some six miles north of Spurn Point at the mouth of the Humber Estuary. To the outside world, it is probably known for little except its historic Tithe Barn and the nearby Gassco, Perenco and Centrica terminals, through which roughly a fifth of the country’s gas is piped ashore. 

Easington is located in an area known locally as the “east end of Holderness”, hence the club’s nickname which was formally adopted to mark their 50th anniversary in 1997. 

Formed in 1947 as Easington AFC & CC, the football and cricket sections went their separate ways eleven years later. The moniker “United”, which had been used from the start in reports to encompass the surrounding villages from which players were drawn, was now formally adopted. 

Following a brief period in the now-defunct South Holderness League, the club spent the majority of its existence in the lower reaches of the East Riding County League where it is still represented today by its second and third teams. 

Under manager Mike Wilson (a near legendary character in these parts) the club embarked on a swift rise up the league, beginning with the Division 3 title in 1990/91. 

The Eastenders were beaten finalists in both the League Cup and South Holderness Cup that same season, an achievement made all the more remarkable by the tragic death in March 1991 of the then record goal scorer Melvin Douglas.

 

ERCFA Intermediate Cup winners 1998/99 (Colin Brammer)

Further promotions followed, culminating in United reaching the Premier Division for the first time in 1998/99. The same season saw the club achieve its first ever East Riding County FA Cup success, courtesy of a thumping 5-0 win over AFC Darleys in the Intermediate Cup Final, played at Hall Road Rangers’ Dene Park ground. 

As members of the East Riding County League Premier Division the club was invited to become founder members of the FA’s new Supply League for the area, the Humber Premier League, for 2000/01. 

Initial problems with facilities at their Low Farm ground threatened to derail the Eastenders’ hopes but these were overcome thanks to a short-term move to Humbleton. Their efforts in overcoming these problems were rewarded when the club was invited to play in the League’s inaugural match, against Hall Road Rangers Reserves on August 16 in front of 320 spectators. 

The club returned to Low Farm in 2002 and the following season proved the most successful yet. Having stepped up to succeed the retiring Wilson during the summer, new manager Sean McLaughlin steered United to second spot in the Humber Premier League and success in the League Cup, the South Holderness Cup and the Dave Iley Memorial Trophy.

 

Humber Premier League Cup winners 2003/04 (Bridlington Town)

 

Easington United were no longer anyone’s “whipping boys” and were becoming a real force in local football. 

Frustrated by what they saw as the League’s lack of off-the-field progress, in 2009 the club successfully applied to join the Central Midlands League. They followed fellow East Riding clubs Westella & Willerby and Hutton Cranswick United, who had made the same move the previous year. 

In their maiden campaign Easington narrowly missed out on promotion from the Premier Division. However, a disappointing second season and subsequent league reorganisation on regional lines has since seen the club struggle. 

Successive final placings of 10th and 11th in the North Division led many to question the feasibility of remaining in the competition, especially as the HPL could now offer the same Step 7 status and was geographically more suitable. This came to a head in the summer when poor attendance at pre-season training and weak squads fielded in the opening friendly fixtures prompted the Management Committee to state its intention to resign from the competition with immediate effect. 

As a lifelong resident of the village and someone who has been involved with the club since the mid-Eighties this came as a major blow. 

 



The author celebrates a goal in last season’s stunning comeback at home to Harworth

(Burt Graham)

 

Over the years Easington United has become known as a club that is keen to progress and has often overcome adversity in order to do so. Never boasting a glut of technically accomplished players (although that 2003/04 side came pretty close) the club has always attracted the “muck or nettles” brigade, willing to make-up for any shortcomings in ability with big hearts and a never-say-die attitude. In August 2013 it was finally accepted that this alone may not be enough to see us through. The following options were therefore put before the members. 

One was that we promote the bulk of last season’s Reserves into the senior squad and continue in the CML; as “sink or swim” as you can get. 

The other was that we could withdraw from the Central Midlands League and field our first team in the Premier Division of the East Riding County League. This would effectively mean taking the place of the Reserves who had clinched promotion last spring and also signal the end of the Casuals (third team) with the Reserves dropping to Division 4. 

Neither proposal appeared that attractive and even talk of a possible last-minute possibility of returning to the HPL, thus maintaining our Step 7 status, failed to lighten the mood. 

In the event it was mainly the efforts of one man that ensured neither of the above options had to be taken. Andy Graham, our player/asst-mgr, was determined not to let “years of hard work” go to waste. 

After conversation with him – and with just eight days to go before we were due to open the season at home to Thorne Colliery – I contacted the league and managed to secure a three-week deferment, meaning we would now start the season at ClayCrossTown on August 31. 

I haven’t seen Andy’s phone bill for that period in early August but I can hazard a guess at it. I’m just thankful it all proved worthwhile. 

Not that there weren’t still doubters even as the new start date loomed large, among them me and team manager McLaughlin. The latter, a Teessider who married and settled in the area after initially coming here to work, had returned to the post of manager following the resignation of Dave Mackay-Dundas in the summer of 2012. 

McLaughlin, known as “Sumo” for what should be obvious reasons, had been encouraged by a decent finish to the 2012/13 campaign.

 

Manager Sean ‘Sumo’ McLaughlin and assistant Andy Graham (Craig Stephenson)

 

But he took the slow start to pre-season personally. With some players jumping ship, others absent and several anticipated signings not materialising “Sumo” simply couldn’t see how the squad at his disposal could compete with the likes of AFC Mansfield. Worse, he predicted nothing short of embarrassment should we even try to do so. 

His view was reinforced when a team cobbled together largely by Graham was swept aside with some ease by HPL side Sculcoates Amateurs in our final pre-season friendly. 

It completed a hat-trick of defeats, in which McLaughlin had at no time been able to select from more than five or six “core” first-teamers. 

However, for Graham (and me) the Sculcoates game had the opposite effect. We agreed that while the result, a 6-2 loss, wasn’t great and that there were certainly shortcomings all across the park, there was nevertheless something in the attitude on show that suggested Graham might be on to something. 

On Tuesday, August 28 a brief Committee meeting granted permission for me to contact the League and confirm our intention to fulfil our league fixtures. “Andy Power” had won the day.

The following Saturday we boarded the “Pistol Pete Express” (the 17-seater LDV minibus that has served as our regular away match vehicle since entering the league) and headed to Derbyshire, with a squad including a sprinkling of fresh-faced youngsters new to this level of football.

From a personal point of view, we couldn’t have wished for better opponents following such a traumatic summer. ClayCrossTown are rightly considered one of the friendliest clubs in the CML and those associated with them appeared genuinely delighted that we’d overcome our problems.

 

Half-time during the season’s belated opener at Clay Cross Town (Richard Lusmore)

 

Their Mill Lane ground also offers a pleasant introduction to Step 7 football – as does the post-match Woodthorpe Inn with its fine selection of cask ales (but that’s for another post). 

Although beaten 2-0, there was enough in the United performance to suggest our decision to continue was fully justified. Another defeat, a home to Phoenix, was accompanied by a similarly encouraging display and when we picked up our first point, away at joint leaders Westella the following Tuesday, there was the sudden realisation that not only could we hold our own this season but we might just be able to surprise a few people. 

The squad was coming together at last and despite sustaining two serious injuries in the 1-1 draw, four days later we still managed to field a team that pushed the aforementioned title favourites AFC Mansfield all the way before succumbing 2-1. 

The downside of such a heartening start – we’d played the top three and the 6th-placed club – became apparent when struggling Glapwell arrived at Low Farm the following week. Perhaps believing that we only had to turn up to claim our first win, a 5-1 reverse soon reminded everyone that no games are a given in this competition. Thankfully, this was taken on board and despite the first genuinely disappointing display of the season at home to Sherwood Colliery a week later, the players showed the necessary determination to fight back from two down to claim a point. 

And so to the Welbeck game when at the seventh time of asking the “Farm Faithful” finally celebrated victory. But it was more than just 3pts, it was hope that a corner has been turned and that when we return to action at home to Thoresby Colliery Welfare this Saturday (Oct 19) it will be as a team now set on securing a final place in the top third of the competition. 

At risk of being accused of getting ahead of myself, it must be said that perennial strugglers Welbeck are hardly the ideal yardstick for the season. Still, such a resounding win combined with the overall performances thus far really does offer hope that the summer of 2013 could yet prove to have been a defining one.   

We’re not ready to join those clubs who tried – and failed – just yet.