"...And Rediffusion Channel B, yeah!"

Humberside - a station celebrates
(and this football follower wishes them all the best)

On Friday 25th February, Radio Humberside celebrated its 40th birthday and a whole host of Alan Partridges came out to commemorate the fact.

And despite conceding that for the first half of my life much of the station's programming aroused nothing but ridicule, I would like to join in sending my best wishes to all involved.

Back in the late-70s/early-80s, in addition to the fact that its title became synonymous with the unloved county of the same name, Humberside was not the choice on the dial for the more discerning younger listener, which I of course considered myself to be. Their combination of news, Swapshop-style phone-ins, more news,  gardening questions, lots more news, consumer issues, even more news and crap playlist, reinforced my view that this station didn't cater for my particular generation.  
Along with a poor-man's radio rip-off of TV's 'The Good Old Days', broadcast on Saturday lunchtimes, the low-point of the week back in those days came 24 hours later when a man supposedly named Tex Milne presented three hours of country & western music.  Jeez.  I was already force-fed plenty of the genre from Dad during the week without having to stomach a succession of  similar wrist-slitting tunes while trying to enjoy my roast beef. 

But for all this, there was one part of Radio Humberside that I always considered worth a listen.  And that was the sport.

I doubt very much whether the coverage back then even came close to matching the current-day operation in terms of time-span, nor do I remember actually listening to many of their programmes in their entirety (following The Eastenders across the lower reaches of the East Riding County League took up most of my Saturdays). 
However, I do recall the Hull City match reporter was called Elliott Oppel, a maths teacher who also fronted a show called Top Town Quiz on Sundays.  For some reason, his voice prompted me to form a mental image of the man in the mould of Norman Vaughan.  I now know this was somewhat wide of the mark!

Similarly, I had the image of my local barber, Mr Stott from Patrington, in my mind every time I heard the Grimsby Town reporter, a certain Charles Eckberg, speak.  He also  presented a piece called Scene From The South, in which he extolled the virtue of most things on t'other side of the Humber (further reinforcing my view at the time that he was anti-Hull!).

As with many other City reporters in the local media (current crop included) Elliott Oppel wasn't particularly popular with supporters.  However, when I remember how underwhelmed one of his successors, Dave Gibbons,  came across every time he commentated on a Tigers goal, it can at least be said that Oppel appeared supportive of the club. 

Sadly, neither he nor Eckberg figured in a superb hour-long programme on Friday morning celebrating Radio Humberside's birthday.  It was presented by Peter Adamson, a man who probably typifies my changing attitude to the station.  At one time, his irritating Mackem accent and headmasterly manner appeared to sum up everthing I found wrong with the station.  But by the time he was eventually allowed to carry through his threat to retire to his caravan in Mablethorpe, I'd come to regard his weekday "Soapbox" programme as a must-listen.

While there were snippets of the wicked Adamson humour in Friday's documentary, it was the succession of news stories covered by the station over the past four decades that really stirred the emotions...and made me realise just how old I am!

From the "Misery Maisonnettes" to the recent floods, the programme took us through the power cuts of the early Seventies, the tragedies of the trawler Gaul, Flixborough and Lockington and high points such as the completion of the Humber Bridge.  In addition it examined the way these stories were covered, which in turn illustrated how the station has developed in tune with changing times.

In terms of sport, as Adamson himself said, there could have been at least an hour devoted solely to it.  Instead we were treated to brief snippets of the 1980 all-Hull rugby league Challenge Cup Final at Wembley, plus City's and Scunthorpe's recent Play-Off wins at the same venue.

The rugby commentary was provided by sports editor Peter Ward and his trusted sidekick Stan Hall who  I remember in addition to Hull and Rovers also delivered commentary on local rugby union matches on Saturday afternoons.  If my memory serves me well, he had a distinctive way of describing goal-kick attempts, culminating in: "One, two, three, four, bang...straight between the sticks..."  Or was that Eddie Waring?  Never mind.

Bringing things much more up-to-date, to hear again Burnsie's description of  that "Windass Wembley winner" raised the hairs on the back of my neck once more, as did his comments at the final whistle: "Hull City are in the Premier League for the first time in their 104-year history and it's okay...you're allowed to cry!"  Brilliant.

So for all its faults and in spite of increased competition over the years from the likes of Viking and KCFM, for me Radio Humberside is still the first choice for local sports coverage.

In addition to the unrivalled weekend coverage of the live action, the relatively recent introduction of the week-night Sportstalk programme has brought the station - and the clubs - closer to the fans.

Even better for me, given my involvement at local level, is the show's nod in the direction of grassroots football.  This has been helped by the regular appearance thereon of Bridlington Town chairman (and ER County League Committee man) Pete Smurthwaite, as well as recent live coverage of the draws for the latter stages of this year's East Riding County FA Senior and Senior Country Cup competitions.   And aside from the odd weak joke - "Riccall? Sounds like a Northern comedian" - it all help gives the thousands of us involved at this level a little bit of credibility.
Of course I'd like to see the station go further and give a full non-league results service every weekend (although according to Burnsie that's already been tried and failed).  But he has at least actively encouraged people associated with grassroots clubs to get involved in Sportstalk.  And indeed we have.  Three summers ago, the show actually broadcast live from Low Farm ahead of our pre-season game with Hull City.  And similar operations have been carried out at Bridlington, Winterton and Barton among others. 
Things like this at least show the local station acknowledges that there is a level of football below the professional game; which in turn gives me hope for the future.

So happy birthday Radio Humberside - and here's to forty more years of top quality local sports coverage.

Now, must dash, Doug & Blair are on at the moment, telling me how to prepare the perfect compost...

Pictures from the station's 40th birthday celebration can be found on the BBC Humberside website

Wet, Wet, Wetter

Saturday 5th February - Bentley Colliery (home, Cup) Lost 2-4

Saturday 12th February - Yorkshire Main (away) 
Match postponed

Saturday 19th February - Whatton United (home) 
Match postponed

"Come May, when they're all togged up in their smart shirts at Presentation Night, do you think any of the lads'll give a thought to us daft bastards stood down here on a Saturday morning in February, freezing cold and saying, 'If we come back in an hour and we can't see Lounty's farm it means it's pissing it down'?"

No I didn't.  And neither did Mickey Bo' Wilson who along with Dave Hodgson (the person asking the question) completed the trio of "daft bastards" stood looking across a somewhat desolate scene at Low Farm.
If October had been "Black" then February was turning out to be very "Grey".  Since the brief advent of better weather in January that had prompted a return to action after eight weeks inactivity, February had been accompanied by a succession of wet weekends.
Thankfully, on the first of these, the rain hadn't arrived until too late to force postponement of our second round tie in the CML's Quartet Catering League Challenge Cup.  However, the persistent drizzle provided a fitting backdrop to our exit from the competition.

Having taken some ten weeks to finally get past first round opponents Parkhouse, we were effectively out of the second round after barely fifteen minutes.
Mack's decision to bring Blounty back into the starting eleven upon completion of a three-match ban was deemed to be the right one by most people in the home camp.  Unfortunately, his first contribution to the action was a complete miskick on 2mins, which allowed Bentley marksman Mark Richardson to stroll through and calmly slot the ball under the advancing Charlie for 0-1.
Our last two meetings against the South Yorkshire side have virtually been decided before the break, by which time "The Jet Men" have held a comfortable advantage.  And they must've thought they were on to a hat-trick when an amazing error of judgement by skipper AG gifted them a bizarre second goal with less than a quarter of the game gone.
It appeared that Charlie had got just enough on Richardson's shot to allow the skipper back to cover.  He had.  And AG did.  But instead of whacking the ball into orbit, admittedly at the probable cost of a corner, he decided to coolly let the ball run wide for a goal-kick...only its trajectory wasn't taking it wide and as it virtually limped over the goal-line the look of horror on the skip's face was matched by that of ten team-mates, five management & subs and some forty-odd spectators at Low Farm.  Oops. 

The Skip has a premonition of dropping a clanger today...

Thankfully, we now made a game of it.  Owen had already stung the keeper's fingertips with one drive from distance before cutting inside his man to drill home a left-footed daisy-cutter and reduce arrears.  A goal almost deserving of "The Sprinkler"-inspired celebration it received.
As we gradually got on top towards half-time it was almost inevitable that Bentley would hit us on the counter.  And they did, the dangerous Callum Smith again getting away down the left before teeing up Lee Tilley who finished smartly from ten yards.  Half-time: 1-3.

The Mountain scores...

...then celebrates. (Even the ref joins in "The Sprinkler"!)

My frustration at events on the field was partly offset by an encouraging afternoon off it.  A glut of fines collected in beforehand had cheered up the Chairman, who at the Monthly Management Committee meeting in midweek had expressed concern over the current financial state of affairs.  In addition, despite it being a "mucky awd" afternoon (as we say down the East End) a decent-sized crowd had assembled and were now keeping Judy busy in the Tea Hut.  More ker-ching!  Of sorts.  Our efforts would at least reap some reward...if not a passage through to the quarter-finals.

One header...

Two cameras

There was no doubting the effort or commitment of the lads on duty.  Indeed, at times the performance ranked alongside some of our better ones thus far this term.  We continued to try and put best foot forward on an increasingly gluey surface.  Owen's volley was deflected wide and from the corner Farny headed just over.  Gav then drilled wide before sub Andy M's header was hacked off the line.  There was a feeling that if we could just get one...
It came seventeen minutes from time.  A defender again denied Owen at the expense of a cormer from which Blounty manged to head home to break his duck for the club.  2-3, game on.  A replay in South Yorkshire perhaps...
Not so.  Eight minutes from time, that man Smith again created space for a pull-back from which Michael Pashley ensured the visitors' progress.

AG gets up highest...

...but Blounty has made the decisive contact. 2-3

Not for the first time this season, some players appeared to take defeat worse than others - despite the level of performance against a side that certainly looks like it will figure in the end-of-season shake-up for honours. 
It always winds me up when people say daft things immediately in the wake of a game.  No-one likes getting beat (me more than most) but the way some people respond casts aspersions that others are perhaps not trying as hard.  Which is complete bullox.  In my humble opinion of course.
The news of defeat for the Stiffs at South Cave compounded my downbeat mood, as did the feeling that the Casuals - who grabbed an impressive draw at high-flying Shiptonthorpe - may have benefitted from a little bit of selection shenanigans (a matter that, thankfully, would be cleared up in due course).
And so I was more than relieved to get into The Granby in time to catch updates on The Tigers' impressive win at Glanford Park in the self-styled "Humber Derby".  A hat-trick for "Super" Matty Fryatt and Aaron McLean's first goals for City ensured that the night's curry wouldn't taste so unpalatable after all.

Mozzer auditions for the next Non-Bio Washpowder ad

Little did I think then that our sodden exit from the League Cup would be our last action for three weeks.  Especially given that the days leading up to both the following weekends appeared to be accompanied by favourable weather - only for the Friday night prior to Yorkshire Main and the Saturday morning of the Whatton game to ensure postponement of both fixtures.  In other words, we'd gone from "crash out" to "washout".

I must admit I sometimes wonder whether our players - or those of any club for that matter - ever actually consider the sort of decision-making process that takes place before a game is called off. 
Judging by the reaction I see afterwards, I often think they see our prevention of them kicking a ball about on a Saturday afternoon as part of some sort of conspiracy; although to what end I don't know.

Take the aforementioned two postponements.  I heard several players questioning the "real reason" for the Yorkshire Main call-off (i.e. "Who have they got missing?"); before labelling our decision on the Whatton game last weekend as "a joke".  Well if it was, I for one wasn't laughing.

I got up at just past six o'clock last Saturday morning, trying desperately not to wake the two Slushettes in the process, before going into the office to print off sixty copies of the afternoon's match programme.  Back home just in time to grab some breakfast , it was then a scoot down to Low Farm for the first of two morning pitch inspections - the one recounted at the top of this piece.

 A wasted effort

With the heavy rain that appeared to be pounding all areas north of Derby & Nottingham having not yet reached the "Humber Riviera", it was impossible to call the game off while there was still the slightest chance that the River-inspired local micro-climate could once again come to our rescue.  It was the slimmest of hopes but in a season already badly disrupted by weather, the last thing we needed was another blank afternoon.

Thus Hodgy stated our intention to use Firtholme ("Lounty's farm") as our guide on our return to the ground at 10.15am.

Needless to say, when we reconvened, it was getting more difficult to pick out the aforementioned farm.  Given that our opponents Whatton and the three match officials (from Bilsthorpe) were all scheduled to be on the road within a few minutes, there was only one decision we could make.  Cue the outrage from various players!  Facebook doesn't make good reading when lads think they've been unfairly done to!
Therefore, when Hodgy rang me later - about twenty minutes in had we kicked off as normal - to inform me of standing water in several areas of the pitch ("You'd never have got to half-time") I did at least feel vindicated, whilst not exactly happy at the outcome.  Hopefully the players may see that now and admit we were right.  I won't hold my breath to read it on Facebook though...

Thanks to Colin Brammer & Burt Graham for the photos

The Road to Damascus

Tuesday 1st February - Hull City 2 Leeds United 2

Super cover, Super Matty Fryatt!

Everyone has a guilty secret.  Some have more than one.  Some carry them for longer than others. I have more than one and I've carried them for longer than most. Two of them concern sporting allegiances.

As previously shared, one is connected with the game of rugby league and centres on my initial leanings towards the black & white half of the city of Hull (a fact that ensured my enjoyment of Wembley 1980 was somewhat bittersweet).  It was nine years later and the start of regular attendance at HKR matches that finally banished those particular demons.

However, even that pales into insignificance against the one I'm about to share with you now.  So gather round blog followers - all eleven of you - I need to come clean.  (Cue clear-the-throat moment) I. Used To. Support. Leeds United.  Yes, "Dirty" Leeds United. "The White Shite".  The club even current manager Simon Grayson acknowledges is known around the world as "Leeds scum". Please stick with me while I try and explain...

It was all my dear departed Mum's fault.  For my initial tie-in stemmed from the Christmas present she and Dad gave me back in 1971.  And although Dad must share the blame, Mum was actually the main football fan in our house and so must have instigated it.  Put it this way, I'm certainly not owning up to having actually asked for a Leeds United kit at the tender age of five.  And if I did my parents should have had the decency to refuse such a request!

My Auntie Monica & Uncle Ted did their best to put me on the right path.  Their present to me that Christmas consisted of the classic plain amber shirt, plain black shorts and plain amber socks that Waggy, Chillo and co wore as part of that "great" Tigers team of Terry Neill's.  It was smart.

But unfortunately, it was eclipsed by the one I unwrapped  from my parents. The design was the same as the City number: no frills, plain round-neck, long sleeves, fairly tight fitting shorts and no trim on any of it. But it was almost one hundred per cent  white - the only patch of colour (and perhaps something else that gave it the edge) being the blue emblem of an owl sat astride its perch on the left breast.  It oozed class.
That was it.  Leeds United had become my team.  I'm so sorry.

Twenty blokes wearing my first ever football kit

My "affair" with the Elland Road outfit (I can't bring myself to use the word "love" for surely I was too young to know its true meaning) lasted for several years.  Via our black and white telly I shared in the delights of Clarke's header against the Arse at Wembley in 1972 then suffered the pain caused by Jim Montgomery's heroics at the same venue a year later.  I crowed about Revie's champions then mourned their failure to crown their achievements with victory in Paris in 1975.  I followed from afar the false hopes raised by Messrs. Armfield and Adamson as the shine soon faded from the Leeds "Glory Years".  And, yes, Mum and Dad also bought me THAT Admiral strip with THAT smiley badge. 

Of course I wasn't alone at this time.  At school, Leeds United was one of the "big three" clubs most kids in our little corner of East Yorkshire cited when asked, "Who do you support?" To admit to supporting Hull City at Withernsea High School in the late Seventies was to leave yourself open to intense ridicule.  I remember 'Pom' Foster did though (take a bow son).  Gary Hook, Keith Waites and Jim Maxwell too (although in their case, Leeds, Liverpool and Ipswich were also tagged-on for credibility purposes - Hull City was their "second team"!).

Even after my first visit to Boothferry Park in 1975 and during my four-match FA Cup run of 1980/81 (which, ironically, included a first ever taste of Elland Road thanks to a second round second replay against Blyth Spartans) it was still the Leeds result that I looked for first on the teleprinter.  Indeed, I even established a new rule to govern such inconsistency by supporting Leeds in the league and City in the FA Cup.  I know, "shameful" is not the term.

Andy Dawson - born survivor

It was over eight days in late February 1981 that I experienced my coming of age and indeed "Damascene conversion" as a Hull City supporter.  It began with the Les Mutrie-inspired demolition of Hartlepool in front of me and 2,824 others and ended with a 2-0 win over Mansfield Town, watched by almost double that number - or as ITV News dubbed them: "The fans who want to save Hull City".  In the intervening period, the club had called in the administrators.  These Tigers really were facing extinction.  I rallied to the cause.  I walked the Humber Bridge with my "Save The Tigers" sponsor form.  My "support" of Leeds was consigned to history.

Of course, City did survive and then thrived.  And I accompanied them along the way.  Between 1981 and 1988 I rarely missed any but the most impractical of away games.  There wasn't a ground the length and breadth of England that City played at during that period that I didn't manage to get to at least once.  Except Bury (don't ask!).

And as my feelings towards my local side continued to grow stronger, my disdain for Yorkshire's so-called biggest club and, in particular, the hundreds of "East Yorkshire Whites" seen streaming down the A63 every weekend, grew and grew.  However, as much as Leeds fans would wish it to be so, they didn't become City's biggest rivals in many people's eyes, mine included - Sheffield United still had that particular place well and truly reserved.  No, "disdain" was an appropriate enough term for "TWS".

In 1985 I finally got chance to show this disdain at first hand as Jobbo earned us a point at Elland Road before scoring again in a memorable 2-1 win in the return (along with Waterfront nightclub regular Frankie Bunn).  But if that was good, even better was to follow a year later.
For in 1986/87, Hull City did the double over the self-proclaimed "Champions of Europe".  Again I was there at both matches; behind the goal in which Alex Dyer and Garry Parker confirmed a 2-0 away win and in the South Stand seats for the 3-1 "mauling" in the return (incidentally, this formed part of a glorious "double" of another kind that day as a few hours later I stood on the Gordon Street End to see Garry Clark's try secure a Rovers win at The Boulevard).  Ah, the memories.

Since then, Leeds have had another ultimately unsuccessful flirt with being top dogs in Europe and City have had a couple of further close shaves with the winding-up courts.  However, in 2007 - twenty years after I'd celebrated my first win over Leeds United - we achieved a more significant success.  For while Deano's goal  at Cardiff earned the point that kept City in the Championship, it also confirmed the Elland Road club's relegation to the third-tier of English football.

A year later, in May 2008, Deano again struck to send the Tigers to the Premier League for the first time ever.  The following day Doncaster Rovers beat Leeds on the same Wembley pitch to consign "TWS" to another season in League 1.   How we lapped it up. Hull City - the team that apparently no other club in Yorkshire gives a toss about - were now the top club in the county.  Fact. 
Two seasons on we now find ourselves again competing in the same division.  And on the face of it, the tide would again appear to be turning, with Simon Grayson's side  arriving at the KC as realistic challengers for automatic promotion. 
Having said that the first meeting, at Elland Road, ended all square at 2-2 with John Bostock scoring his second "Wow!" goal during his short spell at the Tigers. And we too were also on the up again.  The Allams' money and Nigel Pearson's workings in the transfer market (loan and permanent) had ensured City were also contenders for promotion - albeit probably via the Play-Offs only.  A measure of the turnaround since the summer could be seen in the starting line-up, of which only skipper Andy Dawson had been involved on the season's opening day.
The days leading up to the second midweek meeting between the two clubs saw plenty of banter on the various boards, forums, web-sites as well as in the Easington United dressing room.
And what amused me was that for people who apparently couldn't give a fig about Hull City, the Leeds fans I encountered were fairly bitter in their pre-match vitriol.  Perhaps living in the shadow of this "small village club from East Yorkshire" for the past three years has got to them more than they like to let on!
There was also a touch of spice in some of the exchanges at official level; Adam Pearson's programme notes that expressed disappointment at having to allocate our visitors the full North Stand at the KC while City fans were "tucked away in the corner" at Elland Road, being quickly refuted by a Leeds spokesman in the following day's Yorkshire Evening Post report.
We arrived at the ground in good time despite almost getting stung by the new extension of "Permit Parking Only" down The Boulevard.  And we took our seats towards the back of the Upper West an ideal fifteen minutes before kick-off.  Five rows below was "Paz", Withernsea binman and Leeds Utd/Hull FC fan (what a combination!).  We shared some pre-match "banter" - I offered to "out" him to the masses should his team get on top!
It took just thirty seconds to realise that there was only one team that would dominate the first half; Matty Fryatt doing really well to hold up play before drilling over a cross that Aaron McLean really should have converted for his first goal in a City shirt.
No matter.  This was the start of the post-Bullard, post-Ashbee era and on first viewing it was an exciting one.  Aside from a couple of brief scares at the other end, the half became a procession of chances in front of the away contingent.  Koren went close, Schmeichel pulled off two cracking saves and both Fryatt and new boy James Chester scored as the Tigers "roared" into a deserved two-goal lead.  There would be no need to do any outing this half...
But then, just before the break, Leeds were gifted a foothold in the game.  A perhaps needless foul by the otherwise impeccable Anthony Gerrard. Up stepped Robert Snodgrass to plant the ball into the top corner from 20 yards.  The half-time interval wouldn't be quite so enjoyable.

The Younger Slushette won't be getting this kit for her fifth Christmas!

It was almost predictable that Leeds would level after the break.  And they did through  Davide Somma.  However, what was refreshing for me - as the visiting supporters mocked "Two nil...and you f____d it up!" - was that City gradually recovered and began to look the more likely as the game wore on.  The City of just a few months back would have folded.  And but for two goal-line clearances to deny the fabulous Fryatt we may well have been celebrating a deserved 3pts.
Almost the last act of the day involved a stray Lloyd Sam elbow flooring - and hospitalising - the unfortunate Leroy Rosenior.  Sam, as is the way with today's players, later "tweeted" that it was an accident and he'd contacted his opponent who'd accepted this as fact.  Nigel Pearson didn't think it was an accident.  And neither did many City fans.  There are no "accidents" where Leeds are concerned...except perhaps the one that resulted in this my guiltiest secret of all!

Drawing it out

Saturday 22nd January - Parkhouse (Cup Replay, home)

Won 1-0

Saturday 29th January - Thoresby Welfare (away)

Drew 2-2

That's the problem with a mid-season break - it takes you just that little bit longer to get back in the swing.  And so, while I have just about kept on top of things in terms of completing the weekly admin side of this grassroots football malarkey, my ability to post regular blogs on the subject has been significantly lacking.  Not that I suppose you'll have noticed...

Life seemed so much easier when the postponement of games had become so routine that by the Monday I was already finalising alternative plans for the following weekend.  And there was enough "other stuff" going on to help you overcome the lack of Saturday afternoon action; not least of which was England's tremendous march to retention of the Ashes.

Low Farm, oh how I've missed you!

But the snow-covered pitches would appear - for now at least - to have gone the same way as our wins 'Down Under' (this one-day stuff isn't proper creekit anyhow) and my working week has once again become a necessary distraction to the prize that awaits me every Saturday afternoon.

Having returned to action with the frustrating draw at FC 05, described in the previous post, the First Team have played twice more since.  The first of these games saw progress made to the last 16 in the CML Cup, the second saw progress made to matching last season's tag of "draw specialists".

After four failed attempts, our long-awaited Quartet Catering League Challenge Cup first round replay against Parkhouse was finally given the nod on Saturday, 22nd January - some ten weeks after Andy G's late header at Mill Lane had actually earned it!

Although Mack had gone on record as saying that progress in the competition was very much secondary to league success (despite the North/South decision seemingly taking promotion out of the equation) he was still very keen for his players to complete the job begun back in Clay Cross in November.

Visitors Parkhouse were definitely making no secret of their intention to progress; manager Paul Murtagh wrote on the club website that he intended to use the trip to Easington to kick-start his side's hitherto disappointing season.

Prior to kick-off we observed a minute's silence in memory of T. W. Graham, something  we'd kept from Burt and Andy but which, pleasingly, both were very appreciative of.
Hopes of seizing on Parkhouse's current low confidence were raised as early as the seventh minute when a somewhat controversial handball call in the box gave Chav a second chance in as many weeks to convert from twelve yards.  But for the second week in a row he missed.

"Handball"

After this early scare the Derbyshire side came more into things and both teams enjoyed plenty of chances in an entertaining affair.
Parkhouse will no doubt feel they were dealt some rough cards, not least when defender Steff Holland's race into the box was halted abruptly by Chaz just inside the box. right on half-time.  To say the visitors' management were unhappy was an understatement - I thought we were going to have another away dressing room door repair to contend with!

End...

...To...

...End

The second half continued in the same vein until Chav's 73rd minute shot took a deflection from a defender and somehow found its way into the net.
Still, chances came and went at both ends.  Frosty looked to be impeded at a free-kick while Chaz produced two stonking saves to keep Parkhouse out.
After waht seemed like a never-ending period of injury-time, referee Rich Roberts finally blew for full-time and the vast majority of the forty-odd spectators could breathe easily again.

Chav can't have the chance to miss three pens in a row!

The aforementioned "Murts" didn't try to hide his disappointment and frustration afterwards via the Parkhouse website and his own Facebook page.  And I can sympathise to some extent given the amount of possession the visitors had and the chances they spurned - particularly the hapless Adam Smith who experienced one of those days in front of goal.  

But we too passed up several opportunities and the grit and determination on show by the boys just about merited the passage to the last sixteen.  Sorry "Murts"!

The Barnett Clan have again taken the home end!

The week after - and a fortnight on from our trip to Bilsthorpe - we found ourselves making the journey south to the same part of Notts again, this time to  the Edwinstowe ground of Thoresby Colliery Welfare.

Last season's corresponding fixture was played at nearby Clipstone due to cricket commitments at Fourth Avenue.  Hence my keenness to make sure I attended this time around; ground tick!

Thoresby are not dissimilar to us in that they boast a proud history (stretching back to 1930 in their case) and began life "playing on a farmer's field in Edwinstowe".   They also declare themselves "proud of their roots in the local community", they are fellow members of the Club Website family as well as also having their own  Wikipedia page and they boast a Twitter account (@Thoresbycwfc).

Their current ground was created for them by the former Bolsover Coal Company, owners of the Colliery from which the Club takes its name.  Success "at minor level" in the 1950s was followed by promotion to the top level of Nottinghamshire amateur football in the Eighties where they became "nearly men", just missing out on all the major prizes.

After a downturn in fortunes, Thoresby's attempts to turn things round saw them apply for the CML, wherein they were accepted in 2001/02.  Under joint-managership of the affable Lee Tryner and Nick Shaw they're currently enjoying a fine run of form and came into this game on the back of just two defeats in 11 games, included among which was October's dramatic late victory at Low Farm.

While Thommo (left) accepts his fate, AM tries one last attempt to force his way in!

It was only on arrival at Fourth Avenue that we realised the game had ever been in doubt.  Overnight temperatures of -5C had threatened to play havoc with the fixture list; thankfully ours survived.

Our hopes of smooth preperarations were disrupted by a combination of factors including late arrivals and last minute fitness tests.  Oh, and my forgetting the team sheet didn't help!

The fitness test invovled Andy M and eventually meant relegation to the bench for our leading scorer, with Farny taking his place.  Thommo also found himself demoted after a run of games in which he'd struggled to recapture the spark so evident during last season's run-in.  Frosty was the benefactor of that switch...although it might well have been shortlived had the match officials noticed his baring his arse in answer to jibes from the home support during the first few minutes!

The ground at Edwinstowe is on the other side of the cricket square, removed from the pavilion that doubles up as changing rooms.  There is a low brick-built shelter running along the far touchline, flanked at either end by the two dugouts (of which the home one looks far more modern than the visitors'!).

It was from within this shelter that I decided to watch the first 45mins, a period that saw Charlie keep out everything Thoresby could throw his way at one end, while we looked increasingly threatening at the other.

We capped things off with two well-taken first half goals; Chav finishing in style following a neat five-man move and Moz volleying home a Chav corner from close range.

Two up as the HT whistle blew, I joined Pistol Pete, Shotgun Burt and the Barnett Clan for a much-needed half-time cuppa.

Spirits were lifted further by news of a successful game against the Dutch Veterans at Low Farm and an invitation to reciprocate the trip next year!

I opted to stand on the near side touchline for the second half (having conducted a debate as to whether it was colder standing on grass or concrete).  On today's evidence Thoresby  attract similar numbers to ourselves and it was the home contingent who would enjoy the second half more.  

After Chaz had brilliantly kept out Gavin King's second half penalty, he was beaten by Jamie Tryner's fine finish before controversially conceding an equaliser just five minutes from time; the keeper convinced he'd been fouled and that sub Chris Dyson had used a hand when bundling the ball home from a long throw-in.

There was still time for Thommo to almost snatch a dramatic winner but his header came back off the bar and, as referee Scott Mason's whistel confirmed a 2-2 draw (our fourth in a row away from home) it was a subdued Ezzie dressing-room afterwards.

Like the Colliery itself, post-match venue The Thoresby Welfare Club has probably seen better days but the hospitality was good and the locals appeared friendly enough.  I was intrigued to find Greene King IPA and Old Speckled Hen available in smoothflow.  Opting for my favourite of the two, the IPA, I'm afraid  to report it's not a patch on the real thing!

The lads had livened up a little by time we boarded the Riding School Express for the trip home and with the promise of a night on the lash in town for most of them, spirits had lifted even more as the Pistol gave us his usual Magic Roundabout routine on return to Hull.

As I enjoyed a couple of cans of Strongbow, I reflected on what the legendary Mickey Bo would always point out after such games: "You ain't been beat and a point's a point".  Quite.  Next up is Bentley in the cup but before then there's a little trip to the KC in store midweek...

Thanks to Burt for the photographs

Back on the bus!

Saturday 15th January - FC 05 Bilsthorpe (away) 
Drew 2-2

It had been twelve long weeks since I'd last stood at the corner of Westfield Close and Hull Road, awaiting the customary late arrival of the "Riding School Express". 

And as said vehicle, complete with  Pistol Pete & Shotgun Burt's beaming faces, came looming large into view just past 10.35am (official departure time was 10.30am of course) I admit to a feeling similar to that experienced when meeting up with a long lost friend.

That Burt was beaming at all was testament to the character of the man given that he'd lost his dad only the day before.  Tom Graham, "transport pioneer", former Chairman of Easington Parish Council, indeed one-time Mayor of the old Holderness Borough Council and, prior to his move to a residential home in Withernsea, the oldest living resident of Easington, had passed away peacefully at the age of 94.

But there was to be nothing overtly maudlin going on today.  The question was asked, "How are you?"

The answer given, "Not as rough as last night thanks".

And with that, the hip-flask was opened, the first gulps of some fine 2009 Vintage Damson Gin were taken (not by The Pistol I hasten to add) and no more needed saying on the subject.

I quickly changed the topic of conversation.

"D'you have a good Christmas Pete?"

"Well, Christmas at our house was for the two hours in the afternoon that I was out sorting the 'osses out.  It was all laughter and frivolity when I left and as soon as I got back everybody was bloody miserable again."

"Right".  It was reassuring to find that the 2011 version of The Pistol is set to be just as entertaining as its 2010 predecessor.

Fully laden with passengers following the various pick-up points through Hull, we were on our way down the M18 just after midday and it was also good to see that despite a lengthy lay-off, The Pistol's self-effacing humour and consideration for fellow road-users weren't the only remaining consistencies from pre-Christmas:

1) Mozzer's kitbag is still the most unfeasibly large for such a confined space

2) Brett's arse still stinks

and
3) Charlie still leaves himself open to ridicule almost every time he opens his mouth.

Like a bowling green

Our destination, Eakring Road in Bilsthorpe is home to one of the finest pitches in the Central Midlands League Premier Division.  Indeed it may be better than many at the level above.  Hence I had few doubts about the game going ahead, despite the wet weather during the previous week that had put paid to both games scheduled for Low Farm that afternoon.

Eakring Road was also scene to one of our worst away performances of 2009/10 and hosts FC 05 (the Bilsthorpe bit having been added over the summer in order to forge a local identity) have proved something of a bogey team already in our short CML history.  Their victory on their own patch has been accompanied by two 1-1 draws up at the Farm.  So, in short, we owed them.

The news about the North/South set-up for 2010/11 has in effect made this season's league placings somewhat academic in terms of achieving promotion.  But such thoughts don't wash with Mack who was as keen as ever to get things back on track following the loss of points due to the pre-Christmas resignations of Moorlands and FC Brimington.

His plans weren't helped by Blounty finally starting the 3-match suspension imposed back in November and Fitzy's absence due to further East Riding County Juniors rep duty.  Thus we lined up with a new-look central defensive duo of Smalls and AG, with the returning Farny, Frosty and assistant-boss Mr T comprising the bench.

Affable host manager Neil Whitten ensured that on arrival those of us accompanying the team were treated to a welcome hot drink in the tidy pavilion that was obviously designed more with the ground's summer creekit activities in mind.

Eh, it's more than fecking Arsenal won last year!

We'd barely sat down before bounding through the door, like a big bundle of post-Christmas cheer (!) came one Rob Hornby. 

Within minutes the CML Registrar was in full swing, holding court over us, our hosts and a gaggle of groundhoppers, one of whom was greeted by Rob's booming welcome: "Fucking 'ell it's Jesus!"

Unfortunately Rob was only gracing us with his presence briefly (no, honestly) before heading off to nearby Ollerton for a Supreme Division match.  The purpose of his visit was so we could return the CML Hospitality Award for Best Host Club at the Bonanza, the Tony Baugh Trophy.  I was sad to see it go...especially when noticing that Doug had only had "Easington" engraved on it, omitting the "United".  Grrr.

Take your eyes off Thommo playing with his balls and can you see who I can see?

Thought so. I'd recognise that green shirt anywhere. Still, at least the liner looks pleased Rob Hornby's turned up!

A strong wind blowing down-field greeted skipper Andy G as he led his troops out for their first run of 2011.  I had slight concerns as to how he would react following his grandad's passing the day before but needn't have worried.  As Smalls lost his footing inside the opening minute, allowing the home number 10 Steve Walker a seemingly clear run on goal, AG stepped in to avert the danger with a perfectly timed challenge.  Good man.

The howling wind, which appeared to get stronger as the game went on, made it quite apt that I'd chosen this game as the one to abandon pen & paper in favour of my new reporting toy - a Sony Walkman MP3 complete with "dictaphone".  Ooh, get me.

And the first entry thereon was quite momentous: "Fucking good job he got a foot in there. AG, I think, with a great challenge to deny their number ten following a Smalls slip. First minute. At least I think it was a Graham challenge. Burt?...Yeah, it was. But then his dad would say that".

Gav stoops to conquer...almost

As the game settled down, gradually we took control and eventually capped this dominance with a goal of some quality, scored by Andy Martin, on 36mins.

Other chances came and went, while the homesters offered little by way of reply.  Half-time arrived and I was feeling confident.

That'll be one-nil then

This confidence disappeared just five minutes into the second half.  Poor marking at a throw-in allowed Walker ample time to pick his spot past Chaz.  And despite the customary tantrum by our keeper in the immediate wake of the goal, it was general consensus that the assistant-referee had been correct in keeping his flag down.
We took a little time to regain our composure but we were back in front on 64mins, some stylish footwork and a quality finish from Andy M for his and our second.
And the game should really have been put to bed.  Mozzer and Gav both went close before Farny - on for his first run since October - passed up a glorious opening just nine minutes from time; rounding the keeper only to snatch at the shot and allowing the wind to take it off course.

Thommo's twanged it (in front of the Riding School Express)

Moments later, the hosts' number 33 (I jest ye not!) Wes O'Rourke disputed an offside call and in the debate that followed, informed referee Mark Eyre exactly what he thought.  A yellow was produced.  Old sage that I am, I turned to Burt and said, "You watch that bastard score the equaliser now!"
My fears should have been dispelled in the 88th minute when another Farny run into the box was halted illegally.  Penalty. Chav against Milnes...and the wind.
"This won't be easy", said Burt.
It was...for Milnes, who remained rooted to the spot as he watched Chav's spot kick take off on the wind and sail high, wide and not very handsome.
Suddenly that all-too-familiar feeling grabbed the pit of my stomach.  And not even Burt's finest Damson Gin was going to help alleviate the discomfort as the aforementioned O'Rourke stole into apply a fine far post finish in injury time.   2-2.
Moments later Mr Eyre blew for time.  Another dose of the Bilsthorpe Blues.
Post-match destination Bilsthorpe Welfare lived up to its previous season's reputation - fine food (curry, chilli, rice, chips) of which there was plenty but nothing by way of a decent cask.  An entertaining Man City-Wolves game on the big screen helped turn thoughts away from the frustration we were all feeling, while news of the Tigers' 2-0 win over Barnsley set us up nicely for the beer-fuelled return journey.
Ah, it was good to be back in the likes of Doncaster North Services with Mozzer up to his usual tricks and it was even better to be back on the 'Magic Roundabout' that is The Pistol's  customary wacky return into Hull.  In short, it was good to be back on the bus.

Possibly the worst pen Darren Milnes has ever faced

As I transcripted my voice recording the following morning in order to compile the report for the Holderness Gazette, I allowed myself a chuckle when I came to my closing comments on the game:  
"Last minute and a fucking equaliser from the bastard who should've been sent off five minutes earlier. Number bastard thirty-three. Two all."

Somehow I don't think Sky will be coming-a-calling.  Having said that, they employ Dean Windass...

Thanks to Burt for the camera work