Tetchy Times

Saturday 23 January – Bentley Colliery (away) Match postponed

I knew we were struggling when told on Monday afternoon that tomorrow’s game was doubtful due to “six inches of water along the pitch from end-to-end”. That’s a lot of water to shift in five days.

Apparently the problem at Bentley Colliery’s Miners Welfare Ground (“The Avenue” - pictured above in drier times) is down to the “Land Drainage pumps on the Don Banks”, which were switched off to clear the River Don of flood water from the Sheffield area. Until these pumps could be switched back on, our hosts informed us, there would be no chance of pumping the pitch.

I resigned myself to another blank Saturday.

I was right to do so. Yesterday the Bentley secretary informed me that in spite of daily pumping for four hours over the past four days, only a third of their pitch was clear. With heavy rain forecast for last night and much of today it seemed sensible to make the decision then. Game off.

This morning – after the anticipated rainfall had arrived with a vengeance – both County League games scheduled for Low Farm were also postponed.

So it’s now six weeks since any of our three teams kicked a ball. They’re not alone. Much of the rest of the country also appears to have had an impromptu “mid-season break”.

But football clubs and grounds are not the only sufferers at the moment. On Tuesday I went down with what I feared would turn into full-blown man-flu. I know, THAT serious. I took no chances – I sent apologies for my non-attendance at that night’s scheduled Development Group meeting, I downed a Balvenie “pick-me-up” and I hit the sack early.

I woke up feeling even worse the next day.

Besides the inconvenience of it all, the other thing I find about a combination of illness and no football is that it doesn’t half make me a tetchy tw*t. This was clearly illustrated yesterday morning when I was confronted with a troublesome tin opener while preparing packed lunches.  My good lady wife often observes that if arguing with inanimate objects were ever to become an Olympic sport, I’d be a shoo-in for gold. She’s right.

Thus when said tin-opener failed to do the job required and the supposedly “No Drain” tuna steaks drained liquid all over the worktop surface, I proceeded to toss it across the kitchen and stomp off to do something else. A few moments later, suitably calmed, I returned to the kitchen where my three-year-old Younger Slushette, eating her cereals and minding her own business, gave me that look that says it all: “Dad, you’re a knob!”

The sooner we get back to playing football the better.

"It's rough, it's tough, it's Rugby League!"

Sunday 17 January – Hull FC 28 Hull KR 16 (Richard Horne Testimonial)

I’m a relatively late convert to rugby league. Having travelled with "all of Hull" to Wembley for the famous 1980 Challenge Cup Final, it was almost a decade later before I again took in the Oval Ball game.

And by then (1988) I’d switched allegiances, which wasn’t uncommon for the young “Slush”.  In fact it was a trait of my adolescent years.  In football, an early support of Don Revie’s Leeds United was gradually eroded by my first visits to Boothferry Park (especially following the arrival at The Tigers of one of my former heroes, Billy Bremner); this was later followed by a change of Scottish club affinity from Hibs to neighbours Hearts (on account of the off-putting sight of the Oirish tricolour being flown high and proud in the Hibees end on Edinburgh derby day).  "On the decks” it was out with Showaddywaddy and Mud and in with Matchbox and The Stray Cats.  And in rugby league the colour of choice changed from black to red...although not before the game itself became a no-go. Let me explain…

Through my increasingly active support of Hull City during the Eighties I became all too aware of - and partly subscribed to - the “Football v Rugby” debate. In particular, I began to share the bitterness felt by many City fans towards the black & white half of the RL divide.

I’m honest enough to admit that part of this animosity was initially downy to jealousy. In the early Eighties, both Hull FC and Rovers were enjoying the kind of success on the field that City could only dream of and this was matched by their gates, which regularly topped ten thousand at The Boulevard and just a couple of thousand less across the River Hull.

But it wasn’t simply a green-eyed thing on the part of Tigerfolk. As Gary Clark (author of From Boothferry To Wembley and The Best Trip We’ve Ever Been On) recalls, the “egg chasers” didn’t help their cause: “I think it was before the 1980 RL Challenge Cup Final at Wembley when they chose to humiliate us, in a game against Brentford. Hull were invited as part of a Wembley send-off. I was there and remember possibly a couple of hundred scruffs turning up in gang, all dressed in an assortment of hand knitted black and white garb. It was like the cast from The League of Gentlemen. They gathered together in the vast emptiness of the North Stand (still there in those days) and supported the other team. City won 2-1 and the crowd was a little over 3,000.

“Of course several bouts of fisticuffs broke out, mainly from the City fans who objected to this little troop of misfits chanting for a team that none of them probably knew anything about. It was an important match for City too because we were in danger of relegation; our eventual saviour being Keith Edwards who scored in this game and then the famous 1-0 win over Southend a week later on 3 May 1980, the day that “all of Hull” - except the 3,700 who turned up at Boothferry Park - went ‘Down That London’.

“I think that one incident was the start of the animosity between supporters of the two clubs. Not helped a couple of years later when City were in real danger of folding and Hull FC somehow got hold of the Tigers’ sponsors list, contacted them all and offered them a better deal for "Hull's Premier Sporting Club".

Indoctrinated by tales such as this from the “old timers” on the Kempton terraces and the Simon Gray ‘Out-of-Towner’ coaches to City away games, dropping any lingering interest in rugby league came easily as did developing a real dislike for the Airlie Birds.

As for Rovers, although not totally free from attack by members of the Tiger Nation, the fact that they were geographically more removed than their Boulevard-based rivals meant they attracted less hostility.

However, having grown up with a couple of lads of the red and white persuasion, listening to their tales of adventure along the M62 corridor, curiosity eventually got the better of me and in September 1988 I attended only my second ever game of rugby league.

What's more it was an away game, at Central Park, the former home of all-conquering Wigan. I enjoyed it so much that I wrote about the experience ("End of a Myth" - see bottom of post) for the then fledgling Hull City fanzine, “Hull, Hell & Happiness”. I’m proud to say that it was one of the best received articles I ever penned, even attracting praise and requests for a follow-up from the editors of Rovers’ own ‘zine “Flag Edge Touch”.

The following March I attended my only ever game at the old Craven Park on Holderness Road.  It was to witness a quarter-final defeat by Warrington, in what was the last Challenge Cup match to take place at Rovers’ home of 67 years. It was also accompanied by reports of the sort of "crowd disorder" that was only meant to accompany football matches in those days.

The following September, along with 8,499 others, I was at the New Craven Park to watch Rovers hammer Trafford Borough 48-8 in their opening home game in the Second Division. It was my first of three seasons following the Robins regularly home and away, a spell that included trips to some of the game’s forgotten outposts.  These included some real eye-openers such as pre-'Cougar Park' Lawkholme Lane at Keighley and Runcorn, where a wall would collapse at a FA Cup tie against City a few years later.  There were the traditional grounds like Thrum Hall, Station Road, Hilton Park and The Watersheddings, along with those that carried more than an air of menace i.e. Wilderspool and Post Office Road.

Having stormed to the Second Division title, Rovers then experienced something of a yo-yo existence before eventually finding themselves consigned to the lower divisions for the first part of the Super League era.  I followed them through a couple of relegations and another promotion campaign. I tasted (literally) the highs (“pie-a-try” day at Rochdale - we gave up after Rovers’ fifth score…the pies, lovely though they were, were in danger of coming back up!) and the lows (conceding sixty-plus points at Widnes, crashing out of the Cup on a snowy day in Workington, then a division below, and seeing a 30-point lead eroded in the second half of that infamous 1990 Second Division Play-off final against Oldham at Old Trafford).

Admittedly I cannot claim to have been there when the need was probably greatest, in the dark days of the third tier of the game, but I like to think that trips to places such as Trafford’s Altrincham home helped pay my dues for when the good times returned.

And return they have. With my eldest Slushette in tow (kitted out in HKR cap and City badge - "You must be sooo proud?") I arrived at the KC Stadium on Sunday with Rovers now well on the way to becoming an “established” Super League side and currently claiming “top dog” status in the city courtesy of their 7-3 Super League wins record against their rivals.

However, if you read the local paper, these are worrying times for Hull KR – mounting debts, cutbacks, aborted development plans, no major signings etc. Meanwhile Hull FC enter the new campaign with what chief executive James Rule terms “new positivity” on the back of a major squad overhaul and record season pass sales.

Not that this perceived contrast in close-season news appeared to dampen the spirits of the three thousand-plus “Red Army” members who filled the North Stand and parts of the lower West. Together with the homesters it helped generate a 16,000 plus crowd for one of the city of Hull’s finest sporting sons, Richard Horne.

And after two of Hull’s other finest sons (!) - Mike Lodge and Johnny Pat – had serenaded their own sections of the crowd with “Old Faithful” and “Red, Red Robin”, the player in question (who many would have you believe was a HKR fan as a boy) was afforded a guard of honour and a superb reception from both sets of supporters prior to kick-off.

A decent game ensued. Despite the countless interchanges, both teams put on a committed display with Hull FC eventually claiming what the Rovers official web site cheekily termed "a rare victory over the Robins"...

Rovers started well and Colborn had us all on our feet inside three minutes when going in at the north-west corner after some shocking defending from Hull winger Calderwood. But the same player redeemed himself with a try and Hull bounced back to lead 16-4 at the break, courtesy of further tries from Dowes and Turner.

Rovers started the second half like a train, although my awful eyesight only barely made out the figure of “Mean Machine” Clint Newton ghosting in for 16-8 then Chaz I’Anson’s score allowing Dobson to tie things up with the kick.

The hosts weren’t to be denied though. Helped by a penalty count of 17-5 (!!) they finished strongly to seal the win with two late tries from Tom Briscoe and Richard Whiting. And fittingly, even though he disappeared with a shoulder injury early in the second half, Horney himself was named ‘man of the match’.

I’m not a big fan of friendlies - City’s 2-0 win over Leeds Utd at the KC was the last football one to float my boat – but this was certainly different. Neither side shirked a challenge and there was even a couple of outbreaks of good old handbags – one after Newton had taken out Hull’s scruffy-looking new “Maestro” Long!

Although not as charged as for a league game, the atmosphere was still enjoyable (even though it took until the 70th minute for the home fans in the East Stand to manage anything like unison on a song). And their choice of “Where’s Your Money Gone?” was a little bit ironic given their own recent chequered history. Gateshead anyone? (It also gets no points for originality, unlike City fans’ rendition of “You’re Getting Taxed In The Morning” sung to Harry Redknapp the previous day!)

As we crawled along the walkway that takes you back into the city centre it was apparent that both sets of fans had taken something from the day. But the man who will have taken most is a certain Richard Horne. And rightly so.

And here is the original article, penned for Hull, Hell & Happiness back in 1988...

End of a Myth
Rugby League – An Outsider’s View
Hull Hell & Happiness, Issue 1, Sep/Oct 1988

Seven o’clock, Sunday morning, 11 September 1988…a momentous occasion! ‘Momentous’ inasmuch as it was the first time I think I’ve ever seen seven o’clock on a Sunday morning, but more so in that this was the day chosen by yours truly to make my away debut following Hull Kingston Rovers – yes, a rugby match!
The day’s events began at 9.15am when I met up with the two Keyingham Renegades whose powers of persuasion had landed me in this predicament. At 10.30am I reached “the point of no return” – the East Yorkshire Motor Services coach marked ‘Excursion’ came over the hill, the sweat appeared on my forehead, my throat dried up, the coach stopped, the door opened – “Is this the coach for Wigan?” we ask. It is. I’m on my way.
By the time we are due to leave Hull coach station, a grand total of TEN people had assembled. Is this due to the fact that it is Wigan and nobody gives Rovers a chance in hell I wondered? Or, maybe, because Gavin Miller and Michael Porter, the “saviours” from Down Under, haven’t arrived yet? Or is it simply that with two games (and two defeats) of the season gone, everybody is already pissed-off?! Simon Gray would never have run a coach with this few on, I think to myself. Then, of course, the real reason for such a low turnout dawns on me – “Bubbles” is appearing as Michael Jackson at Aintree!!
Arriving in Wigan brings back all the bad memories of City’s ignominious FA Cup exit here two years previous, which in turn leads to discussions about the high point of that 86/87 season – that one-nil victory at Swansea with ten men. I was there. Ah, good times.
The first thing that strikes me on arrival at Central Park (after two failed parking attempts) is the colour – everybody is wearing club hats, scarves and shirts. I think this was the norm at football once – many years ago!
On passing through the turnstiles, I immediately enter into an argument with one of the rugby lads about the state of the ground:
“It’s better than most Third or Fourth Division grounds”, says he. That gets my pro-football back up I can tell you.
“BULLSHIT! There’s only Grimsby’s ground that’s worse than this”, I answer.

At this point the argument is brought to a halt by some leggy brunette in a blue figure-hugging uniform who seductively places a sticker bearing the logo “Cheshire Building Society” on my left nipple. For five seconds I have become a committed rugby fan.
Well, one half-cooked beefburger later and after several strange looks at my Hull City badge from the local “black pudding heads” the game is set to begin. We have managed to locate a pocket of about a hundred Rovers fans in the middle of Wigan’s popular stand – no segregation here! There’s beer on sale too!
The first half is keenly contested and remarkably close – Wigan 8pts to 4 in front. Rovers’ fighting spirit has silenced many of the Wigan regulars around us. Am I a good luck charm I wonder?
I must admit it’s a strange experience standing in the middle of opposition fans at a sporting venue without feeling the slightest risk regarding personal safety. Everybody keeps saying how good it was coming to Wigan during Rovers’ “Glory Days” of the early-Eighties when HKR brought an army of several thousand. But I must confess I enjoy it in the company of a mere hundred or so – it reminds me so much of City’s away following!
The second half is quite rousing – I hope that doesn’t sound as if I’m enjoying myself too much? At this point I feel I must let you into some of the more popular phrases to emerge from the terraces that afternoon:
1) “Gerrem onside” (Get them onside) – shouted very often and very loud by the game’s connoisseurs
2) “Go head-hunting Rovers, they’ve been doing it” (I think you ought to tackle a bit harder Rovers) – a bit violent for me this one
3) “C’mon Wigan, let’s have these sheep-shaggers” – this left me totally confused
4) “Get off Gregory you w____r!” – I didn’t understand this one but it was very popular among the Rovers faithful!
In the end Wigan’s extra pace told (or that’s what my mates said) and they triumphed 32-16 (about 2-1 in football terms!). Still, with pride intact, Rovers’ players managed a wave to their loyal travelling band – and me. I applauded respectfully, and felt a lot happier at the end of this game than I had at Springfield Park two years earlier on my last sporting trip to Wigan.
Having at one time subscribed to the “football versus rugby” school of thought that existed at City during the rugby teams’ years of success, I confess to being slightly surprised at the enjoyment I gained from that Sunday’s experience. The sheer arrogance of Wigan’s support, fuelled by recent years of trophy-winning, is enough to stir the emotions of anybody proud to come from our Great Eastern city though, and helped me forget that the oval-ball game is not my natural environment. And I can safely say it won’t be the last time I attend a rugby match this season.
There is room for all three major clubs to survive together in Hull and provide collective success for the City, I for one would love to see it happen and this goes for other outfits in the area (Hull & ER RUFC, Humberside Seahawks ice hockey, Humberside Bears baseball and Kingston Liberators American Football team to name a few).
The lasting thought of the whole day out, however, was the quote from Tony (Dutton), one of the regulars on our City away days, when asked his thoughts on the game of rugby league: “I don’t see any point in it – running forward and then chucking the ball backwards”
I wonder how many City fans still agree with him?

Spurred on

Saturday 16 January - Phoenix Sports & Social (home) Match postponed

On 7 April 1950 Hull City went to White Hart Lane and held runaway Second Division leaders Tottenham Hotspur to a 0-0 draw in front of just under 67,000 spectators.  In David Bond's "The India Rubber Man - The Story of Billy Bly, Hull City's Longest-Serving Player", it lists among the Spurs side the likes of Ted Ditchburn, Alf Ramsey, Bill Nicholson, Les Medley, Harry Clarke and Eddie Baily, all of whom played for England as full internationals, and Welsh international wing-half Ron Burgess.  Goalkeeper Bly was one of City's heroes that day, "a cross between a Hampstead Heath contortionist and an Olympic Games diver in saving efforts from Medley", according to renowned soccer journalist Desmond Hackett.

Almost sixty years later, on 16 January 2010, one of Bly's successors to the Tigers' numero uno jersey, Boaz Myhill, has been even more instrumental in ensuring that City remain unbeaten at "The Lane" in their top-flight history.  Against a Spurs side similarly packed with internationals, Myhill's performance was so good that local radio commentator David Burns had ran out of superlatives by the time he denied Peter Crouch an injury-time winner.  The result was enough to lift The Tigers out of the bottom three and just about enough to help me get over the fact that the weather had ensured no action for any of our three teams this weekend.

At least we had a slight change on the postponement theme – thawed snow and subsequent rainfall proving the latest insurmountable obstacle as opposed to settled snow, frost and ice. The end result, however, is the same. Another blank Saturday.

As always I put my new-found free time to good use. I got myself a Facebook account. Yes, I know, it’s sad…or, as my better half’s 21-yr-old goddaughter took great delight in telling me, “You’re an old man trying to be cool”. She’s got a point. Perhaps.

In my defence I didn’t want an account as such. I actually set up a page for Easington United as another means of ensuring messages get passed on – most of the players spend far more time on “Facey B” (as I believe the cool young things call it) than they do on the club’s official web site and not many of them are yet on Twitter (he says with a slightly superior tone in his voice!).

Unfortunately, to be able to invite “friends”, sorry, “fans” to the new EUFC page, I had to set up a personal profile. Which I did. And “pow” before I knew it I was inundated with “friends” requests from people I barely know (and some I barely like!).

Of course, to show off my new cool credentials to said wife’s goddaughter “HanBansx” I thought I’d merge these new “social networking sites” together and suddenly make myself into this kind of happening, finger-on-the-pulse bloke that…well…I can’t stand really.

Thankfully my age-old flaws with anything technical came back to haunt me and such an “integration” of sites thus far remains, er, un-integrated. I think it’ll stay that way.

In amongst the technical gubbins flowing freely around our household this past weekend (and my 6-yr-old daughter really is starting to show me a thing or two about “compootas”) my good lady and I managed to steal away for a kids-free night at The Village Hotel in Hull. It was courtesy of BP’s Annual Staff Party and while the use of the excellent pool facilities was first-rate, as was our evening meal (accompanied by a fine set from those long-time Mint regulars “The Casablanca Boys”) I’ve got to point out the real highlight came in the downstairs Village pub – courtesy of a couple of pints of “Reverend James”. At 4.5% not really a session ale (the nearby "Spitfire" pump would have served that purpose had I been propping this particular bar up for the duration) but it was the perfect way to set the tone on a cold winter’s night, as the tasting notes suggest: “Full bodied and warming, rich in palate, spicy and aromatic with a deeply satisfying finish. This premium ale has been described as having a "classic" flavour not commonly available these days”. Couldn’t have put it better myself. A lovely first new ale of 2010.

Finally, and returning to the Tigers, while it was nice to see the BBC pundits giving out some deserved praise for once in the wake of Saturday’s hard-earned point, you don’t have to dig too deep to find further evidence of their ignorance of and/or complete disinterest in the club. For example, in the version of the interview with Bo Myhill, which accompanied BBC Sport’s match report, he is asked if there might be a cheeky call going into Mr Capello after his heroics? “No, I’m happy with my Welsh heritage” answers the Wales International keeper, rather more subtly and graciously than I would have done. FFS.

Then we have Alan Green, the opinionated front-man for Five Live’s Saturday night 606 phone-in. As pointed out by Paul Cockerton on his fine “Three o’clock at Kempton” blog, this fountain of all football knowledge either doesn’t realise that Hull City is a Premier League club or that Hull is in Yorkshire. Or perhaps both. Jeez. I shouldn’t get so wound up by it all but really…

Something to aspire to

CMFL Chairman Frank Harwood’s recent look back at the league’s success stories reinforces the belief that the move was right for Easington…

The following piece appeared on the Central Midlands League Football Mitoo site on 2 January.  Edited extracts from it are posted here by kind permission of the League:

The lack of matches to report on gave me the chance to reminisce, so I delved into the records to see where ex-CMFL clubs, who have been promoted, are playing in now and this shows a remarkable record….

Without doubt being a member of the CMFL has been a good move for a lot of clubs, the league can be proud of the great influence it has played, in the shaping of non-league football in the Midlands and North.

43 clubs have been promoted to higher football since the formation of the league in 1971, most during the past twenty years.

38 still play at level 6 or above, with 2 (Hinckley and Ilkeston Town) now at level 3, only two steps from the Football League.

One level below sees 8 ex-CMFL clubs. In the Unibond League Premier Division are leaders Retford United, third-placed Bradford Park Avenue and Hucknall Town.

In Unibond Division One South Mickleover Sports, Glapwell, Carlton Town, Goole and Lincoln United all graced the CMFL.

The Northern Counties East League have seen the biggest number of ex-CMFL clubs progress into their league, in fact the league would certainly have not reached its position in the Pyramid of Football without ex-CMFL clubs;

6 clubs play in their Premier Division (Step 5) and 8 in Division One (Step 6).

Ex-CMFL clubs now monopolise the East Midlands Counties Football League, with 12 clubs being former members of the Central Midlands Football League.

In the South 2 other ex CMFL clubs play in higher football, Boston and Loughborough.

Some clubs who joined the league from local football have made remarkable strides. Hucknall Town had just a field with a wooden pavilion when they joined the CMFL and the same could be said for Mickleover Sports. Sports’ record is remarkable, because just ten years ago they were members of the Supreme Division.

Lincoln Moorlands, who are now at Step 5, were members of the CMFL Premier Division in 1998/1999. That season they achieved promotion to the Supreme Division, the following season they won the Supreme Division and were promoted to the NCEL.

Perhaps the most remarkable achievement is the record of Retford United. In just five years, from being the Champions of the Supreme Division in 2003/4, they have moved up to Step 4, just three rungs from the Football League. If they retain their present position they could be at Step 3 next season.

What areas have most benefited from their clubs being part of the CMFL? Nottinghamshire leads the way with twelve, eleven Derbyshire clubs have progressed, Yorkshire & Humberside (how I hate that term – Ed) boost seven clubs, five from Lincolnshire and three from Leicestershire, making-up the total of thirty eight.

Reading the above has helped convince me that the decision to "jump ship" last summer was the right one.  It would appear that we have joined a competition with a real pedigree of success in moving clubs onwards and upwards.

On his first visit to Low Farm CMFL President Tony Goodacre told me that the League’s main aim would be to get us in at one end and out at the other as quickly as possible; in the same way that 43 others before us have gone. A success rate of over a club a year is good going by any standards – it certainly stands up well against the HPL!

Joking aside, such figures also remind us of the reasons why we first considered following Westella and Hutton Cranswick’s decision to move competitions a year earlier. You can have all the talk you like about the HPL gaining Step 7 status by next season, bringing it into line with the CMFL Supreme Division and effectively making our current status a “demotion” but come on, would anybody associated with our club swap a trip to Lees Lane for a game at, say, Malet Lambert School?

However, my point in this piece is not so much to have a pop at the Humber Premier League. The thinking behind that competition’s launch in 2000 was admirable – to bring grassroots football in the East Riding into the 21st Century and give progressive clubs a bridge over which they could eventually cross to the Northern Counties East League.

We took up the offer to become founder members without hesitation (unlike some who, ironically, are now among our most vociferous critics following our latest move) and for the most part we thoroughly enjoyed our time therein.

But as Easington United Association Football Club enters its 63rd year, I think membership of the CMFL has opened up a whole new range of possibilities for the future. Although size is against our making the same sort of leaps as some of the clubs mentioned above, the area of Holderness is plenty big enough to support a team playing at Step 6. And ‘The Eastenders’ are currently the best placed to aim for it.
Anyway, what’s life without a dream or two?

Finally, having mentioned Westella earlier in the piece I must admit to being somewhat taken aback when reading on Sporthull of manager Dave Anderson’s recent departure, along with assistant and one-time Hutton Cranswick boss Mally Parker. Therein it cites the “taken the club as far as they can” cliché but I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s more to come out.

Rumour has it Dave is taking over at Barton Town Old Boys. Although I often had disagreements with him during HPL matches (not to mention getting wound-up about past approaches to our players!) he was always good for a chat before and after games. And along with Denis Cox at Hutton Cranswick, he proved a real help during our switch from HPL to CMFL.  I genuinely wish him all the best on his new career...erm...whatever that may be!

Weather Watching

An East End conversation about the "cold snap"...

“Cawd”

“Bah!"

"Intit?"

"It's like Back End,
Ah’s nivver bin si cawd"

"Bah!"
"Intit?"

"Ah's aboot nithered"

"Thoo must be gerrin awd”

Passing the time

Saturday 9 January – Dronfield Town (home) Match postponed

I’m getting a bit fed up of this now. Even before today's lunchtime confirmation, the weekend fixtures were already doomed thanks to this seemingly never-ending “cawd” snap. Snow, sleet, hail, freezing rain and ice, lots and lots of bloody ice; it’s starting to really p___ me off!

The front cover of Issue 13 of ‘The East Ender’ is therefore about to undergo a third makeover, with all references to Dronfield being replaced by Phoenix Sports & Social, our next “scheduled” opponents. Thankfully, the lack of action involving our three teams means most of the stuff originally typed with Thorne Colliery in mind remains relevant…just!

And it’s not just the matches that are being lost. Sunday’s scheduled meeting for clubs involved in the CML Bonanza has been put back a week, while the league’s Mid-Season Meeting, due for Monday week in Glapwell, has also been postponed with no new date as yet arranged.

You may notice that I’ve recently added several more links to the side toolbar. One of them, local journalist/playwright Dave Windass’s “Killing Time” blog, is not only rapidly becoming something of a favourite but has also given me much-needed inspiration.

In his first post of the New Year Dave revealed he has set himself some “reading targets” so as to “fill in the missing gaps in my literary knowledge and atone for my reluctance…to read from the prescribed canon.” This set me thinking along similar lines.

Not that I’m talking books. That would be a task for which my chances of success would be on a par with all the other “fads” embarked upon at this time of year i.e. abandoned within days/weeks.

It’s a sad fact that I have no self-discipline at all when it comes to reading matter (even getting through The Daily Telegraph ranks as an achievement – usually there’s a pile of three or four still demanding my attention by the time Saturday’s supplement-filled edition arrives).

Therefore you won’t be surprised to learn that I currently have five books on the go, all at various stages of completion. (The figure was actually six up until the week before Christmas but, having originally bought “An Ordinary Soldier” by Doug Beattie MC as a 2008 Christmas present for Dad I decided I'd "whizz through it" myself first...and eventually crawled over the finishing line just in time to re-wrap it for his birthday this year - on 22 December!)

Of those remaining part-read, “Royal Flash” (the second instalment of George MacDonald Fraser’s twelve-volume Flashman series, which I bought as a complete set about three years ago) is the one nearest to a finish…although I don’t think I’ve read a page since March! Nick Hornby’s third novel, “How To Be Good”, Max Arthur’s “Forgotten Voices Of The Great War” and Major-General Julian Thompson’s “Dunkirk – Retreat To Victory” are all at various stages of completion.

Meanwhile the list omits those abandoned halfway through, in a sort of I’ll-come-back-to-you-when-I’ve-got-a-minute kind of way: “Wick To Wembley” (Andy Ollerenshaw), Michael Vaughan’s “Calling The Shots” , “Never Had It So Good – A History Of Britain From Suez To The Beatles” (Dominic Sandbrook) and the current Non-League Club Directory 2010.  Indeed Vaughan’s autobiography has been gathering dust for so long that he’s written another volume in the meantime – which really is no way at all to treat one of my all-time sporting heroes.

Oh, nearly forgot. Tomorrow sees my daughter’s dance class resume, which usually allows me chance for a coffee and a read while I wait for her. I’m currently halfway through “The India Rubber Man”, David Bond’s biography of legendary Hull City keeper Billy Bly…

My problem is that I’m a sucker for a new title. No sooner have I started a book than my eye (and credit card) spies another. One door opens as another shuts. Hence our bookcase strains under the weight of the unread titles.

Not all my books get abandoned part-way through. 2009’s completion list included Robert Lyman’s gripping account of “The Longest Siege: Tobruk – The Battle That Saved North Africa”, the equally enthralling “Aden Insurgency: The Savage War In South Arabia 1962-67” by Jonathan Walker and Pete Davies’ brilliant World Cup memoir, “All Played Out: The Full Story of Italia 90”.  Plus the Saul David trio of Victorian Era military history ("The Indian Mutiny 1857", "Zulu: The Heroism & Tragedy of the Zulu War of 1879" & "Victoria's Wars - The Rise Of Empire") were real "can't put 'em down" jobs.

Before that there was Stephen Brumwell’s “White Devil” (the story of the raid that inspired ‘The Last of the Mohicans’), Mark Nicol's uncomfortable Iraq account "Last Round", David Downing’s “The Best of Enemies: England v Germany”, Richard Holmes’ biography of “Wellington” and Peter Guralnick’s seminal “Sweet Soul Music: Rhythm & Blues And The Southern Dream Of Freedom”. Eleven books in nearly four years; that’s not a great strike-rate!

My better half, Mrs Slush, is just the opposite. She goes through books quicker than I can get through a nice New World Shiraz. Almost. Ominously, one of her more recent titles was “13 Ways To Murder Your Husband”, while she is about to embark upon the Alistair McGowan/Roni Ancona collaboration: “A Matter of Life and Death or How To Wean A Man Off Football”.  Hmm.

So, unlike Mr Windass, I won’t even bother to set my self a reading list. However, his post of 2 January has inspired me to do something similar, something I’ve been meaning to get round to for some time. In a task which is being recorded on my other blog, I aim to re-visit the contents of my entire music collection with the aim of testing out the late John Peel’s oft-aired theory that the effect of doing so can be the same as when hearing those same sounds for the first time.

Perhaps I ought to apply the same method to reading books, would at least kill time while there's nothing else doing…

Frost bitten

Saturday 2 January – Thorne Colliery (home) Match postponed

I think I might finally be getting a hang of this blogging lark, well, at least the technical aspects of it - it’s amazing what little delights I’ve found when pressing “Advanced Settings”! I’m certainly not claiming any sort of technical proficiency yet but if nothing else the end result might be a little more pleasing on the eye?

The lack of any recent live action has allowed me to go back and “re-vamp” some of my previous postings. I’m not sure this is “blog etiquette” but it has proved quite therapeutic.

With more snow falling again today it would appear that I’ll have more time to "prat around" (as the missus refers to it) this weekend. A late switch of fixture had meant we were due to face Dronfield Town at home but this now looks very unlikely.

If as seems almost certain the match is postponed, it will ensure a fourth successive blank Saturday, following similar disruption against Brimington (19 Dec) and Thorne Colliery last weekend, with Boxing Day in-between.

Last Saturday’s postponement came after a roller-coaster week in weather terms.  The game was off then on then off again.  After melting snow had left areas sodden, two days of strong easterly/north-easterly winds then worked their magic to get things back on course, only for the New Year frosts to do their worst.  A 9.30am inspection by local referee Sprucey proved academic.

Thankfully I had not ventured as far as to print the Thorne programme (which, ironically, is Issue 13 for the season) and so it was simply a case of tweaking a few things to ensure that the vast majority of content remained the same for the visit of Dronfield. It now appears more likely that Issue 13 won't actually appear until Phoenix Sports arrive here on Saturday week…that's if this bloody awful weather ever abates of course.

At least Jack Frost's visit last Saturday allowed the Lusmore clan one of those “family afternoons” that come along all too rarely between August and May.  And so we togged the kids out in their winter woollies and embarked on one of our favourite walks – down Westfield Lane and across to the old Milking Parlour near the cemetery before a return trip via the village square.

It may be some of the flattest land in the United Kingdom but on a crisp winter’s afternoon, there's still a lot to be said for this corner of Holderness.  Big skies, the hub of the nearby Humber, the smell of the country and the easy pace of everything makes the odd chance to get out and be part of it, as we did so briefly last weekend, almost unmissable.

It was quite invigorating and gave all of us a feeling of well-being when we finally got back in the warmth an hour or so later; a feeling that for me disappeared along with City’s second half capitulation at Wigan in the FA Cup Third Round.

The Tigers’ 4-1 defeat also made the headlines for all the wrong reasons thanks to a paltry crowd of just over 5,300 at the DW Stadium. Given that 800 or so had made the horrendous journey across the Pennines to watch what was in effect a City reserve side, such comments reflect more on the attraction or otherwise of our once premier cup competition than the respective merits of the two clubs on show.

And despite Leeds recording the shock of the competition the following day in front of 75,000 at Old Trafford, it would appear that the FA Cup remains a pale imitation of the competition it once was.

When I was younger, FA Cup Final day meant up to eight hours in front of the box. The build-up began with “Swapshop” and included the delights of “It’s A Knockout” and all other sorts of footy-related gubbins which ensured great anticipation by the time the first bars of “Abide With Me” rang out from the Wembley pitch. And who cared that the games rarely lived up to all the hype? Guaranteed that whoever won the cup, school would see an increased numbers of scarves in those particular colours the following term; thus, for instance, the previously unheralded sight of Ipswich Town favours being worn around Withernsea High School in 1978.

But it wasn’t just the final. FA Cup Third Round day was as much a part of the Festive Break as turkey (even if The Tigers were often out of the competition by then). Now for many – including it would seem my own team’s manager – the cup is just an unwanted distraction.  Even the Man Utd-Leeds tie couldn't hide the fact.  As the Daily Telegraph pointed out today, this one tie only served to gloss over the ongoing demise of a once great national institution.

Of course, if we’re to apportion blame for this demise we need look no further than the usual suspects in the Premier League, in particular the so-called “Big Four”: Fergie for boycotting it one year in favour of a greater marketing opportunity overseas, and his rivals for devaluing it by weak team selections and the refusal to bestow a UEFA Champions League place on the competition winners. Shame on them all.

So it's goodbye to the FA Cup for another year.  If only we could say the same for the Arctic weather.  While the local radio station is telling us to brace ourselves for more snow tomorrow and the accompanying traffic disruption, school closures etc., my mind wanders to distant shores; in particular to Cape Town. Sitting here listening to Smith and Amla pummelling our bowlers into the Newlands dust, the temperature is being quoted as 34C.  It's not a day to be spent in the field as Strauss and co. are finding out to their cost.

I had these same wandering thoughts when watching Sky Sports News interview some of the 10,000 England fans arriving in Cape Town for the current Test. Having attended the Millennium Test there in 2000 I can relate to the elation this year’s Barmy Army members will be experiencing at one of the most picturesque cricket grounds in the world (especially when suitably fortified by copious amounts of Castle lager from the brewery next door!).

Travelling abroad to follow your country at any sport is a great experience.  Unfortunately, mine has been limited to just the two Test series (I was also at Melbourne and Sydney for the 1998/99 Ashes).  Oh, and an ill-fated 1985 football excursion into Scotland (well it felt "abroad") to watch England lose to a Richard Gough header and and several thousand of us being invited by the local constabulary to leave the Hampden Park terraces at half-time, find our buses and "f#*k off"!  I've never been tempted to go back.  Unlike Cape Town where Table Mountain, Cape Point, the train to Simonstown, the Stellenbosch vineyards, Kenilworth Races and of course Newlands Cricket Ground are definitely worth a return trip.  Some time.  Perhaps.
Outside it's still snowing.  Better plan another walk for Saturday then...

2009: A year of progress

A better year for The Eastenders
The following text provided the basis for two matchday programme pieces I produced over the Christmas/New Year period.  Now seems an apt time to air them on here...

As we enter the new decade all of us connected with Easington United can do a lot worse than hope for a repeat of 2009 in terms of the Club’s overall performance, on and off the field.

For, despite lack of silverware and the struggles endured by both County League squads there were more positives than negatives to come out of the past twelve months.
The highlight probably came in July with the retention of the FA Charter Standard Adult Club of the Year award for a second year running at both County and Regional level. This is a magnificent accolade and recognises continuing good practice at all levels within the club. Judy and Jeff were this year’s proud recipients at the presentation made by Hull City legend ‘Deano’ prior to his Testimonial game at the KC Stadium in August.
While that was the biggest accolade of the year, the most satisfying achievement personally was completion of the “Million Metre Meander” in May. On a stiflingly hot Sunday in May, the taste of a gorgeous pint of ‘Timothy Taylor Landlord’ after 25 miles walking takes some beating! The fact that the money raised not only benefited the club but also went to a very good cause courtesy of The Mia Fund also enhanced one’s satisfaction.

Both of the above "successes" were thanks in no small part to the efforts of the Eastenders Development Group.  Among others were the Presentation Evening, which this year took on a different format and ensured a "self-financed" event for once; the Sporting Dinner at Craven Park, with Steve Daley and Mally Lord (above) which still proved successful despite losing original choice venue (the KC Stadium) at the eleventh hour; the "Night At The Dogs" at The Boulevard; and the award of ERCAS Level 1 accreditation which was the result of much hard work over several months.

The other big achievement of 2009 has been at Low Farm where, in tandem with the Recreation & Sports Association, work has continued in an attempt to establish a first-class venue for south-east Holderness.

To this end, last week saw completion of a final stretch of perimeter barriers, which in turn concluded a major upgrade of the site in line with the Step 7 requirements of the CML.

The main involvement on our part came courtesy of the “Day on the Farm” in June, which saw a whole host of tasks undertaken to give the ground a facelift. This was then followed by the laying of hard-standing, for which the likes of Biff and Brim must take most of the credit. But the overall project again showed what can be achieved when all at this club are pulling in the same direction.

Despite the lack of any silverware, there was a marked upturn in playing fortunes during 2009, particularly at First Team level. A fourth placed finish in the Humber Premier League was a significant improvement on the previous two seasons and ensured that United left the competition boasting the fourth best overall record of any of the original members.

In the summer we became the first Holderness club to make the move to Regional football, via membership of the CML, thus providing a first step on the Non-League Pyramid. And it was a proud day on August 15 when Andy Graham led the team out against Bulwell Town in our opening fixture.  Competing alongside many clubs of semi-professional pedigree has brought fresh challenges but we arrive at 2010 having settled in well in the new surrounds and with only two defeats against our name.

Although times have been tougher at second and third team level, the fact that United still supports three teams every Saturday afternoon is an achievement in itself given the size of the village.  And let's not forget, we are currently still the only Holderness club that can offer top-flight local football for its Reserves team.

The Reserves also enjoyed the surprise bonus of an appearance in a South Holderness Cup Final last May, which marked a first for the club as well as giving certain players a welcome return to an occasion they may well have thought had passed them by for good!

Therefore there is plenty of optimism as we enter 2010 and should we be reflecting on a similar level of success this time next year then I for one will again be a very happy man.

Having said that, Easington is no different to any other place in that not everybody is happy with what we’re doing – both inside and outside the club. This isn’t such a bad thing.  Constructive criticism is something any organisation needs to keep it on its toes and ensure it doesn’t get complacent.

Some of the flak we've received over 2009 has come from members of rival clubs and indeed "rival" leagues - something that was perhaps to be expected when we finally confirmed our decision to move to the Central Midlands League.
Much of this I took with a pinch of salt - indeed some of the stuff aimed our way wasn't worthy of a response it was so petty.  However, what really disappointed me was when the criticism had no basis in fact and was designed purely to damage our standing locally.  This is especially so when the comments in question emanated from people inside the local community but outside this football club who would like nothing better than to see Easington United AFC fall flat on its face. That is something I and a lot of other people are determined isn’t going to happen.
At the moment we have a great combination of a younger, ambitious Development Group and a solid, experienced Committee headed up by the Chairman. It’s something that should ensure that the Club is allowed to further its ambitions without harming the prospects of those wishing to follow in its footsteps in years to come.
2009 was a good year for the club, 2010 can be even better! 

The photographs used above appear courtesy of various sources including Hull City AFC, Colin Brammer and Burt Graham.  Thanks.